Would you tell?

[thedeathofme]

If you knew someone else's DC had done something that you know the parent would not be happy about, would you tell? Nothing criminal, nasty or dangerous as such, but definitely outwith the parents usual boundaries/comfort zone. My own DC was involved and isn't in trouble as such, but knows it must not happen again. I don't want to stick them in, but the other way around, I'd want to know and be able to tell my DC it's unacceptable in future.

Sorry to be vague

You'd want to know but what's more important, that a responsible adult knows and can make decisions based on it or that the parent knows? It's not always possible to have both. You can have both this time, but they'll all know where it came from, and there goes both your kids telling you anything and any of this friendship group thinking they can tell something to one of the parents without it getting back to their own

I mean, this would be my advice even if it were something potentially dangerous. It's more important that they can tell their own parents or another kid's parents than that the parents actually know, isn't it?

I'd remain silent on this occasion but I would be extra vigilant in future - probably seek additional commitment from my child and theirs about where they are, etc.

Initially I was going to say that you should tell as you know that it was something the other parent wasn't going to be happy about
However, as they were in the care of someone else and you have stated that it wasn't anything dangerous then I think you need to leave it. The other parent needs to trust who they leave their child in the care of and it is their responsibility to check what parenting style or rules that other person lives by.

Only if it is ultimately in the best interests of the child in question. If you go "telling tales" on your DC's friends you run the risk of your DC choosing to reduce their communication with you. If you are going to break their trust make sure it's for good reason.

Yes! As a parent I would want to know.

if it's illegal or harmful to anyone, tell their parents, if not, then don't.

I can't make an informed comment unless I knew what it was. I consider myself fairly relaxed as a parent and haven't gone far wrong with mine who are now pretty decent adults.

So you really need to tell us what is is/was OP

It depends on the individual personalities involved.

Yes. I'd definitely want to know.

Depends what is was DC did I think

How old are the dcs?

The person who the dcs were in the care of, was she aware of it at the time? If not have you raised it with her since and what was her response?

If it's something that the other dcs parent definitely wouldn't want them doing and the person in charge had either allowed it to happen or was unaware of it (not keeping a close enough eye?) or wasn't aware of it and when made aware of it was too laid back about it... then that would be a consideration. As the other dcs parents are obviously trusting this 3rd person to keep an eye/uphold the standards you think they want.

If you found out it had happened again, his would that make you feel?

*how

hmm, I can't tell, because I would need to know how old the kids were and the nature of the offense.

Did a JW child attend a birthday party?

Did a muslim child eat a sausage roll?