Karma got me good.

[Whodoesthis17]

I know I am going to be slated over this so did a NC,
After my DP died I felt so low and this one friend was there for me, I knew he had children and that what he told me was just a friends relationship with his ex meant she stayed over as well with him but convinced myself there was no relationship as I wanted to be with him. This was over 2 years timespan.
It all blew up and she told him to go away, so he went from seeing his children for 2 long weekends a month to twice a year, she never stopped him seeing the kids, he just never bothered to visit them within 6 weeks he proposed, never got married and by 8 weeks he had moved in with me.

I thought I would get the lifestyle he had been living with her, always had money he was happy and kind towards her, he looked stunning and it was implied they had a good time,,,, if you know what I mean.
He had romanced me with flowers and meals out, acted like I was the bees knees, never pushed to take it further than I wanted...
Well he moved in and suddenly he let himself go, over 3 months it's like he isn't who he seemed, he was loving towards me, while she was cross, but the second she said she was Ok with us as a couple he became moody.

It gets worse, he lost his job and his health which I was shocked to find out about once he moved in, I am more his nurse now than his lover. Question is I am now so unhappy what do I do?

A lot of women stumble on happiness through becoming single. Also sounds as if she is well off in her own right so of course she is well and happy.

If he was earning well he should have some savings.

Stop banging on about karma. You fell for someone, he turned out to be an arse. Happens to many people. You don't have to be stuck with him forever. Do you feel stuck because he is ill or stuck because you think you should punish yourself?

He may need to get a bedsit and carer. If you were saying you want to care for him because he's your friend, that would be one thing, but it isn't that, is it?

Also, you aren't working because you care for him? What happens if he is left alone btw? Is he entitled to some help from the state? I'm sorry to ask but there are some people on MN who would "care" for someone who can manage.

People we know, have told me this is my own fault, I knew he was with her and went after him, had I asked anyone they would have told me, and most say I must have know.
I have been painted as a husband stealer again, becasue my DP was with someone else when we got together, and that if I leave him I have been told to not talk to people, as they say the ex would have kept her vows of till death do us part, and looked after him, I feel like if something happens to him becasue he was ill before he moved in with me, I will be accused of leaving him to die, by neglect.
He is a diabetic which I knew about, just not how ill he was with it.

If he is a diabetic he is responsible for his own health, frankly. I live in a country where diabetics abound. My ex-FIL was diabetic from the age of 40 and only started to suffer from ill health after he was 80. One of my best friends is diabetic and is super healthy at the age of 68. Because they take care of themselves.

This is one of those threads where I realise there are some people's lifestyles and attitudes that I really, really cannot fathom

I bet she's so thankful that he's with someone else, no wonder she's happy!
Sorry op, you thought you'd got a prize catch someone else's husband now it's clear he's anything other. Funny that he was so attractive and now you've got him, warts and all, he's not quite what you thought.
Tell him that it's not working and give him a date to leave I guess and try to get him to take some responsibility for managing his health and getting a job. And next time don't take someone who isn't available.

Many diabetics who are very unwell are perfectly fine living alone
I've lived alone all my life and have had a few illness including major spinal injury.

It sounds to me that you are letting him stay out of guilt.

Time to put your big girl pants on and own your shit. He is sick and you don't want to look after him - doesn't sound like you love him. So let him go. If you get get blowback from people you know then too bad. You can't have your cake and eat it...and in your case it was someone else's cake...twice!

Reclaim your home and stop chasing after a 'lifestyle'. Rebuild your integrity - it'll do wonders for your self respect.