to not want ds1 to start the school day on the "sad face"

[Ladymuck]

Sorry, I know that this should be in education, but more people seem to respond to this topic, and I'd like some ideas for an afer-school meeting.
Ds1's school tends to have a very positive ethos with the boys - sometimes it is stunning to see it work in practice eg when lining up for the bell the teacher will comment on what beautiful straight lines they are in (as if!), and suddenly all the boys will shuffle into line, chests out in pride.
That said there is also some underlying elements of competition.
In Yr1 there seem to be several different incentives used: happy/sad face, housepoints and awards. In terms of how these are displayed, there are happy and sad faces on the class whiteboard and names are added or deleted in accordance with behaviour. Housepoints are given out for a variety of things, from good work, extra effort in some area, or for even managing to put away tray and line up quietly after lunch. These are displayed as a star chart with a row for each boy in the class (divided into houses). Housepoints can also be taken away, though I'm not sure of the circs. For exceptional effort award certificates are given out in special assemblies throught out the term. In addition to these schemes which apply to all biys, one or two children have specific schemes to support "behaviour modification" apparently.
I've been in class about 4 times this term. On 2 of the 4 times ds1 was on the sad face (and was the only child there). He claims that so far this year he has only been on the happy face once. Also on every occasion he has had the fewest housepoints - currently trailing significantly as he has 3, one other boy has 4 and every other child in the class has at least 12, with over half the class on 20 or more. Whilst the difference wasn't quite as noticable at parents evening I did question the teacher as to ds1's behaviour (he is by anyone's stadnards a "lively" child), but was told that he behavious was within the norm for Yr1 boys, and that the teachers had no particular concerns.
I was last in the classroom on Wednesday dropping ds1 and noted the sad face. I asked the teacher who had been teaching them that day as to what had happened, and she responded "Oh, that wasn't me, that was from earlier in the week".
I spoke briefly to the teacher yesterday to make the appt, and by some strange co-incidence ds1 skipped out of school yesterday saying that he had not only been on the happy face (for the 2nd time this year), but was also on another face (something to do with kindness that I've never heard of before).
So here's my AIBU - I know that I don't have a little angel in ds1, but I think that if he is starting the day as the only child on the "sad face", this is a fairly negative image for him. AIBU in suggesting that the slate is wiped clean each evening (at least in terms of happy/sad faces)? I have no ideas about the housepoint position - I know that he did have more than 3 at some point and assume that he has lost some, but to always be trailing at the back, and for this to be so public in class makes me wonder how he is seeing all this (fwiw he had made the comment that "no-one ever sees when I'm being good" totally unprompted at the start of this week).
I don't want ds1 to be falsely rewarded in any way, but if his general behaviour is so much out of line with the rest of the class then AIBU to see if there is some way in monitoring him, and managing to somehow acknowledge some of his achievements in terms of behaviour? I don't want to come across as a fiercely protective parent (though I obviously am!). OTOH the school is a private school so I'm aware that their SEN provision may be miles behind the state sector.

[Ladymuck]

Sorry - there were gaps between paras when I previewed!

[DANCESwithaTruckLoadOfMiniEggs]

No, I agree. A clean slate for each day with that sort of thing (happy/sad faces) and then cumulative (sp.) for things like housepoints would be sensible.

[sniff]

I think every day is a new day give the positive thoughts to start on if the face is sad already it cant get any sadder a happy face can change

wouldnt this be more incentive to stay happy face

[Hulababy]

I agree that the happy/sad face thing should be started fresh each day, with the previous day forgotten. To start the day with a sad face is such a negative thing.

As for house points, I don't like the de-merit type system. I don't think a child should lose a merit for one thing for it to be taken away again for something totally different. It used to be like that when I was in school but I had thought the demerit system and stopped long ago, with the focus now of rewarding good behaviour.

I think the merit system as a positive reward is good, as are the house point systems. I think it is quite common to have these displayed in classrooms as a visual remonder to pupils and a visual representation f hoow a child is doing. But agree that it must be very disheartening for a child to always be so far behind.

I would want more answers as to why your child is so far behhind with merits, What can he do to achieve more - ask for constrictive advise and comments, rather than a wishy washy answer. If he behaviour, etc. is within normal boundaries, why is he not achieving a similar number of merits? The teacher must be able to answer these questions. If he/she can't, then you need to question why she doesn't know and something needs to be done about it.

[wildwoman]

Starting on the sad face is ridiculous! Also for the teacher to say that it wasn't them that put him on the sad face and it was some time last week is really worrying. This means your son is being punished for no reason and I doubt at that age he is even clear on what he did wrong.

[Ladymuck]

Thanks. Certianly I'm looking for a clearer understanding as to how the rewards work, and when they get "reset". I have to say that I'm hoping that the housepoints get rest at the end of term so at least next term starts afresh. Ds1 actually responds very well to some sort of star chart etc so it does seem unfortunate.