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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I overreacting?

53 replies

CatchingBabies · 03/07/2017 20:18

My son (aged 12) came home from school today and told me a joke that his teacher had told him.

I know the teacher and it's likely true as he often tells my son jokes to cheer him up. But this particular joke in my opinion is racist and I'm really annoyed that he would teach it to children. It's a joke poking fun at Chinese names.

I've spoken to my son and he won't repeat it and was unaware it was racist. My son has learning difficulties and goes to a special needs school so wouldn't have recognised it as racist, especially coming from a teacher.

The teacher isn't English so I don't know if he would have recognised it as racist before telling it to other children but I would have thought so.

Am I overreacting or would you say something to school? My partners logic is he's 12 and will hear worse we just have to teach him it's not appropriate, which would be fine if it was a child telling the joke but a teacher gives the impression it's acceptable to repeat without checking with me as he normally would.

OP posts:
blueskyinmarch · 03/07/2017 20:20

I think you need to tell us the joke or we cannot have any idea if it was appropriate or not.

Screwinthetuna · 03/07/2017 20:20

You are overreacting.

Original poster
CatchingBabies · 03/07/2017 20:23

Fair point bluesky, joke is:

Why can't you phone China?
Because there's so many Wings and Wongs that you might wing the wong number.

OP posts:
Original poster
CatchingBabies · 03/07/2017 20:24

Teacher is not Chinese or Asian if that's relevant, he's African.

OP posts:
FunSpunge · 03/07/2017 20:25

I think you're being too sensitive. If that was a joke about "John smith" would you find it offensive?

blueskyinmarch · 03/07/2017 20:25

It is a faintly amusing play on words rather than racist i think. It isn’t saying anything disparaging about the Chinese.

ElleDubloo · 03/07/2017 20:27

It's quite funny. I'm Chinese.

Smarshian · 03/07/2017 20:27

Yanbu it's not just about the name - it's about the implication of the accent as well. I'd not get too upset about it - but just mention to the teacher that you didn't think it was appropriate. It's not too offensive though.

Original poster
CatchingBabies · 03/07/2017 20:28

Do you not think it's being derogatory about the Chinese having similar surnames? Totally prepared to be told I'm overreacting and too sensitive, just always overprotective with my son I suppose due to the lack of understanding.

OP posts:
Pengggwn · 03/07/2017 20:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Frillyhorseyknickers · 03/07/2017 20:28

How do you perceive it to be racist?

Original poster
CatchingBabies · 03/07/2017 20:30

As I said above, it was told to me in a (horrendous) Chinese accent which means the teacher will have done the same, my son parrots accents like this a lot. So it's poking fun at the accent and poking fun at the similar surnames of the Chinese. Maybe it's just me.

OP posts:
upperlimit · 03/07/2017 20:33

I think you are over-reacting.

SorrelSoup · 03/07/2017 20:34

That's wong on so many levels.

Eppia · 03/07/2017 20:35

That's from Roald Dahl's Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator. I admit I winced a little when reading it...

RelaxMax · 03/07/2017 20:38

I don't think that's racist, it's just a play on popular surnames?

FelixtheMouse · 03/07/2017 20:39

You are totally over reacting. It's a play on words, not a racist slur.

RelaxMax · 03/07/2017 20:39

Ah just seen your post about the accent, I do think that changes things.

CheesesOfNazereth · 03/07/2017 20:42

It's not racist. And it's not a stereotype, it's just the actual truth.

ShitStorm2017 · 03/07/2017 20:50

Oh ffs it's a silly joke, no one was hurt or offended. It's not your place to be offended on behalf of other people! PC world gone mad!

Pengggwn · 03/07/2017 20:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DuggeeHugs · 03/07/2017 20:59

It's stereotyping, and especially inappropriate when you add in the accent.

cansu · 03/07/2017 21:03

I think complaining about this would be an over reaction. You are of course not unreasonable to tell your ds that you dislike the joke and why.

OohMavis · 03/07/2017 21:10

How can pointing out common surnames amount to stereotyping?

donquixotedelamancha · 03/07/2017 21:32

Wing and, especially, wong are common chinese surnames. The humour comes from the silly rhythm of the sentence and the innocent double meaning, rather than disparaging Chinese people.

That said, it's not an appropriate joke for school. If the teacher did do a Chinese accent it's really inappropriate. Have a quiet word with the teacher. I think to call someone racist over this and potentially cause serious distress would be an unpleasant act.