To think DD should be able to hold her pen in the way she finds most comfortable?

[bluegreenandgold]

DD (8) holds her pen strangely, she always has.

She has been told to hold it correctly by all her teachers over the years and been given various things to help encourage this but she finds it impossible to maintain holding it in the traditional way so reverts back.

Does it matter? I don't think it does, her writing is neat.

It hurts her if she tries to hold it correctly, and it makes her handwriting illegible

My dd's teachers obsessed about this too, but she somehow has struggled on to adulthood

After age 12 almost all her work was typed anyway, so I'm struggling to think of adult work where you're handwriting for any length of time.

I hold my pen like a strange fist, it used to drive my teachers mad but here I am, a grown ass adult with a job where I barely write anyway as everything is on computers!

This is as close a pic as I can find to show how my son writes. He writes from above the line rather than below, iykwim. His wrist is totally curved around. He can't figure out the right way at all!

This kind of thing is nonsence. I hold my pen 'wrong' but you know what? I have such neat and tidy handwriting I've been asked on numerous occasions if I do calligraphy!
I struggled as a child because I am dyspraxic, when holding a pen the 'correct' way my handwriting is a shambles and illegible. So, I found my own way that gave my hand more support to grip the pen.
Teachers berated me all the way through primary school until in year 6, after once again being embarrassed in front of the class made to use a pencil grip and told to use it whilst copying pages of my favourite book every night, my dad saw red and said enough is enough. I'd worked out a way to write beautifully and that's all that mattered.
Tell your dd's teachers to leave it be, she writes fine her own way and to concentrate on issues that truly require support.

I've always held my pen strangely and have very neat writing. Never had any trouble writing in exams either.

It depends how she's holding it. If she's putting her thumb over her first finger she really needs to change it. This is because holding it this way locks up her wrist and stops her using her fingers correctly to write. It might be ok at 8 but when she's having to write lengthier pieces when she's older it will limit her stamina as it will cause a strain on her hand and arm.

My friend held /holds her pen like your ds Ovo. She did some serious damage to her wrist during O levels and had it in a splint for a long time afterwards.

Conversely my son has a perfect pencil grip. Writes slowly and it's hard to read.

As long as her writing is clear, legible,quite fast, with the letters well formed and properly joined up then there isn't a problem. If any one of those elements is missing she could have problems later when more extended work is expected .

I think we push handwriting far too soon long before most children have the muscle strength and knowledge to form letters properly. You see a lot of children who have bad handwriting habits that start very early because they are trying to make their writing "look right" but form letters wrong,try to do impossible joins etc. Countries where they stand a long time doing pre writing work to build up hand strength and muscle control seem to have children who develop fluent and confident writing.

I was always impressed by the handwriting of Polish children when they joined having learned to write in Poland, a lovely flowing script, that seemed natural and comfortable.

Guess it's time to start slapping his hand with a ruler, Barbarian! Soon break the habit.

Obviously I'm joking, but I really don't know how to get him to change his writing position. I've tried before and got nowhere. 😢

OvercomeByGravity I hold mine exactly the same way. Your post has made me unreasonably happy.
For what it's worth op, I managed GCSEs and a levels fine, and used to hate being corrected, I physically can't write any other way.

I don't hold my pen correctly. I write neatly and quickly. However, like pp if I have to write long essays it does become uncomfortable. Mind you, I have no idea if it would be more comfortable holding it correctly as I have never done so!
In today's world though pretty much all lengthy writing is done on a computer so I would be surprised if it caused any real complications

Well you could (hit him with a ruler) but I'd be more inclined to consult an occupational therapist (I think that's right- the people who assess hypermobility and hand-writing) and see if they think its a problem and if so, what they suggest. Dfriend did her university exams on a word processor but of course she already had an established wrist problem by then.

I had an epiphany recently when I changed to a fountain pen and learned to put the pen in front of the knuckle at the base of the index finger, rather than in the crook of the webbed bit. Relax the grip, push from the shoulder and wahay! I can write for ages and my writing is neater than it's ever been.

Dd writes like OVO's picture. She has Irlens and apparently she has been doing it to reduce the glare. Going to see whether now with coloured paper and glasses she might try a new hand grip and might get neater writing.

I hate this focus on writing correctly. DD 9 has been told to change her grip by her teachers since she was 5. She writes well with her 'different' grip and gets anxious when asked to change and her work suffers. Every year her new class teacher spends a few months correcting her grip before giving up. I don't really imagine her writing reams of pages in working life so don't understand this obsession in this day and age.

We had similar with our DS and cursive writing. He was pestered by his teachers and they moaned to us.

DH asked if they could read what he wrote and if he was quick enough? The answer was yes, so he wanted to know what the problem was?

All children are different and create their own ways of managing various situations.

I hold my pen wrong, I put way too much pressure on my index finger. Like in the bottom left of this picture. At 5/6 I held it in a completely cack handed fashion and had to use the pencil grips for a long time - this was my eventual compromise! My handwriting is neat and I can write super quick but by the end of a 3 hour A level or university exam my index finger would be in agony. Better to fix it now if she can.

I hold my pen very strangely and it has never hindered me, I have legible handwriting and can write much faster than the 'correct' way . Once you are 8 there isn't really much that can be done to change it, I'd just let her get on with it, the school should also take the focus off the grip and onto more important factors like spelling and grammar.

I have a weird one hold. I kind of tuck my thumb under my Index finger. One of my teachers used to get really annoyed but I've been using a pencil to write and draw like that since I was an infant and I won art awards.

My little sisters teacher pulled my mum to one side and INSISTED that the way she held her pen was going to cause huge issues later in her school life (she was 6)
My mum promptly told her that she holds her pen just like her adult sister (me) and that I had the neatest handwriting in the class all through school and had passed GCSES and A-levels with flying colours 😉

This is similar except I rest the pen on my middle rather than ring finger.

Oops picture attached this time