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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To put in a complaint against NHS

319 replies

Vanillaisboring666 · 03/07/2017 17:31

My beautiful 14 year old dd attended hospital Tuesday last week to have her ACE stoma reversed . It was a simple 20 min procedure that was class's as day case surgery. We arrived at 8am and she went down to theatre at 12pm , arrived back onward at 1pm . At 230 pm she was discharged . She was un comfortable but managed to walk to car . Upon getting in car began to cry saying she was in a bit of pain . I got her home and into bed and gave paracetomol as per hospital instruction. At 4pm she was in agony and sweating. Took her to A&E as day case unit advised on phone they would be closing at 8pm . Anyways 2 hrs in a&e she was sweating , breathing fast and writhing in agony. After 2 hrs a paed doc came and gave oromorph and placed her on paediatric ward. She stayed overnight and was given regular oromorph but she was still In agony . The sister the next morning said it was post op pain and told me to take her home amd have a duvet day and give paracetomol. By this point she could not walk and looked gravely I'll with sweat running down her face. I took her home and once again tucked her up in bed. At 4pm wednesday (day after her stoma reversal ) she was in absolute agony so I called gp and he prescribed oromorp and we gave it her overnight. Thursday mornine she was unable to lift her head and gp advised over the phone i ring an ambulance . Ambulance arrived (after 1.5hrs) and she was once again took to a&e . A gastronsurgeon came immediately and she was then rushed to theatre . I was signing consent forms running along corridor. It was terrifying. Anyways she ended up having a full blown laparotomy after the attempt at doing surgery laparoscopically failed. She has 4 laparoscopically incisions and a huge vertical cut down her tummy from laparotomy and also a cut on right side of tummy from her ace reversal surgery and initial ace surgery. She has been through hell. She was on itu for two days and is now on ward but is still critically ill as having temps and heart rate fast. The surgeon who did the ace reversal was never informed dd was readmitted by the ward and has profusely apologised as he said this should never have happened. He is going to be looking into why he was not told dd was back in hospital with pain 4 hrs after his surgery and why the bloody hell she was discharged in such a terrible state the next day when she was very obviously seriously ill. She is so so so poorly now and is still critically ill amd at risk of sepsis . She will be getting ct scan tomorrow as nothing is bringing down her temps . I am furious she was made to suffer such pain for 48 hrs and has ended up needing full blown laparotomy. If her surgeon had of been informed on the Tuesday he said he could have managed to do surgery laparoscopically. Instead he said her abdomen was so full of puss and poo he had to open her tummy from top to bottom. I am heart broken and not coping well with seeing how much pain she is in. I am strong in front of dd but have to go to toilet amd cry every now and then. We have a huge long road ahead to get her better but I am now starting to realise just how appallingly she has been treat by the ward who initially discharged her. No doctor even examined her before discharge and the sister said it was post op pain amd to have a duvet day and paracetomol ? I can tell the hospital is shitting themselves as they rolling over me and dh now . Even my dds consultant has admitted this should not have happened amd has apologised . He came to see dd twice a day Saturday Sunday despite it being his day off. I pray to god she recovers as docs say she is still critical and may need more surgery amd to go back to picu if her temps don't drop. Sorry it's so long and I hope it makes sense. I'm in bits and can't believe our wonderful nhs could have gotten something so wrong. A routine simple procedure has ended up with 8 hrs of surgery ,paed intensive care for two days,severely in pain child that is bed bound ,catheterised and has no clue just how serious this situation is. Her whole abdomen was filled with puss and poo and her bowel had ruptured . According to ward sister though it was post op pain and all she needed was paracetomol and a duvet day. My dd is so lovely and never complains so I knew something bad was wrong but the sister said she knew best and discharged her ??? AIBU in going to pals ????

OP posts:
Swizzlegiggle · 04/07/2017 15:14

Vanilla my heart goes out to you and your daughter. Praying that she pulls through xxxxx

Foxysoxy01 · 04/07/2017 15:15

I don't have anything very helpful to add but just wanted to send my thoughts to you and your DD.

I really hope she feels better soon and things get easier here on out for you both.

Can you ask any of the nurses if they have anyone you can talk to? I imagine it might help to have someone outside of everything that you can just talk it all out with. They may be able to get a talking therapist to you so you can have some support as it must be an awful shock for you.

TheFreaksShallInheritTheEarth · 04/07/2017 15:28

Thoughts and best wishes to you and your DD today. I can hardly bear think what you're all going through. Flowers

Want2bSupermum · 04/07/2017 15:32

From what you have put here it sounds like you have a dedicated consultant managing your DDs care. They are doing the necessary checks and taking action to make sure that she will make it through this.

As a parent this is probably a moment where it's much harder for us than it is for them. I hope all goes well this afternoon and it's her last trip to a surgical theatre.

Splodgeinc · 04/07/2017 15:33

Thinking of you vanilla and your DD. Please do complain when you feel up to it. I often encouraged my patients to complain as if a problem is due to under resourcing then this sadly is the only way it will change.

Vanillaisboring666 · 04/07/2017 16:14

Her consultant is being very good and I'm very grateful for all the nurses , docs and staff who are helping my dd

OP posts:
AradiasDaughter · 04/07/2017 16:40

Bloody hell OP reading this is terrifying. I truly hope your daughter makes a swift and full recovery.
Definitely take it up wth PALS they need to be aware of what has gone on. Like pp have said it's not like you have to do it this instant but will need addressing once your DD is in a more stable condition.

youarenotkiddingme · 04/07/2017 16:46

Just got in from work and came to check up on you and DD.

Sorry to hear she's still so unwell Sad

Hope surgery goes ok and she's back on the ward soon Flowers

Tazerface · 04/07/2017 16:53

I'm so sorry you're going through this OP. Your poor daughter and poor you and DH Flowers

I have nothing to advise right now other than yes go to PALS but focus on you and yours for now. Raising with PALS can wait.

alpacasandwich · 04/07/2017 16:55

Thinking of you OP. Please try not to worry overly about sepsis; she is in intensive care and they will know exactly what to do. Sepsis is very treatable in hospitals, it's scary when it happens out in the community and isn't caught in time.

LovelyBath77 · 04/07/2017 16:57

I hope the surgery goes well and it gets sorted this time. Yes I think that is called a leak, along the join, it can happen at times sadly, but rare to have it happen twice. Hopefully it will heal better this time. Kind thoughts it must be very hard x

user1493630944 · 04/07/2017 17:00

I would suggest waiting before making a complaint. Focus now on supporting DD, keep notes of everything (original post will be very useful here), record all details, eg ward name, names of staff if known, times etc. But concentrate on the here and now not what has happened. Ask questions but above all be positive for DD. This is not the right moment to complain.
I am sure you have a case for a medical negligence claim but not now (you have years to do this afterwards). The danger in pursuing it is that one becomes consumed with bitterness, it should not have happened but it has happened and sadly a complaint won't change that.
Your DD is still dangerously ill with peritonitis by the sound of it, it is truly shocking that medical staff failed to recognise the severity of her symptoms. Sadly this (undiagnosed peritonitis) has happened to 2 members of my family, thankfully both made full recoveries.

MollyHuaCha · 04/07/2017 17:05

Your DD has youth on her side. I have some experience of similar conditions to the ones you describe. Frightening at the time, but the outcome was really good. You sound like a strong, intelligent and very caring parent. Take each day as it comes. Cake

LovelyBath77 · 04/07/2017 18:16

Yes, I remember reading the main people who struggle with surgical complications such as anastomatic leak (leak in the join of the bowel) and obstructions are those who- are elderly, have pre-existing conditions or who present late (or are not picked up) so your daughter does have youth on her side. It can be got through, she is getting good care now, i am sure. and yes there is time in the future to think about other things such as a complaint or if necessary, for her future, negligence and it does seem you would have a claim.

Frouby · 04/07/2017 18:37

Hugs op. It's very frightening for you all.

My only thoughts are to not discount another stoma if it will help. It will be very disappointing to go through all this and end up with one. But it should just be temporary until her bowel heals enough to reverse.

Vanillaisboring666 · 04/07/2017 21:13

I am praying tomorrow goes well. The last surgery was so huge and her tummy is so swollen all ready that I hate the thought of her small tummy being cut open again. She will never be able to wear a bikini or belly top with her friends. I mean of course she could and I'd encourage her to embrace her scars but at 14 this is really going to affect her self esteem xxx

OP posts:
youarenotkiddingme · 04/07/2017 21:32

I think one thing you can ask for as a resolution is access to a physiologist and councilling for her and the family to help you manage to digest what's happened.

You could try bio oil or something for scars? They may heal better than you think as she has young skin and it's usually far more elastic at that age.

Vanillaisboring666 · 04/07/2017 21:44

Yeh will try bio oil. She is skinny as a rake and has no tummy fat at all so I'm thinking it may look worse than it is due to her having so little reserves . She hasn't eaten a thing since last Monday and has not been given amy nutrition iv because of her temps and possibility of imminent theatre..Once she has her next operation they have said they will start her on nutrition packs iv as she is so tiny and has no reserves at all. She hasn't felt hungry as been too unwell but as a mam I have felt awful about her not eating ( think us mams always want to feed our kids) x

OP posts:
BlazeofLight · 04/07/2017 22:00

Thinking of you and your dd Flowers

Frouby · 04/07/2017 22:07

Don't worry about food lovely. Dp didn't eat or have the nutrition packs for 12 days. She will be fine on that score.

Wildestflower · 04/07/2017 22:08

Sending you love.

almondfinger · 04/07/2017 22:19

Thinking of you and hoping she turns a corner soon. Very frightening times for you. xxx

firenze86 · 04/07/2017 22:21

Oh my word your poor, poor daughter. Hugs to you both Flowers xxx

GiraffesOnAplane · 04/07/2017 22:26

Is she getting any sort of vitamin drips or anything or jsut fluids?

Blossomdeary · 04/07/2017 22:36

It is clear that mistakes were made and informing PALS is a good way of trying to prevent it happening to anyone else. So you would be right to do this.

But at the moment you need to be with your DD - I am sure that this is what you want. PALS issues can wait.

My heart goes out to you - what a worrying time for you all. Flowers

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