Cancel christmas this year ??

[familyiswhatmatters]

Hi I no it's early but last Christmas my parents, son,husband and I have decided to spend this Christmas in the heat and go to Spain and rent a villa for a couple of weeks . This didn't fair well with the in laws ( what ever does ) they started saying things like what about santa clause. Firstly my four year old doesnt give a stuff about santa or Christmas, he has never wanted or physically opened a present , and anyway gets a present or treats every 2 weeks from me and my husband. aibu to think fuck it santa won't come this year.I'm often referred to the Christmas grinch and don't put up a single decoration it's not like he doesn't get presents and I don't even think he'd notice /care if santa didn't come

Go wherever you want for Christmas, nothing to do with MIL.

However you do realise that a) Spain in late December is fucking cold, and b) if shops and doctors being shut is a problem in the UK, it'll be a hell of a lot worse in Spain!

Do you really think Christmas doesn't happen in Spain?

Hi op, if you dont do something for a dc then of course they wont miss it.

If i never gave my dc a bday celebration didn't do balloons, presents after school, cake, restaurant and party or treat, then they wouldn't miss it. Children are conditioned by us from an early age. Children are conditioned to not miss all kinds of things.

I agree its not just your xmas but your dp and sons as well, I feel you should make some effort for him at xmas, I am sorry but millions of dc enjoy and love xmas...its a very exciting time of year.

Having said all that I also agree its your xmas to spend where you want too. Spain would be lovely place to have it - so different - just throw a decoration up for your son.

But would that make it the right and caring thing to do?

he avoids the fake santas in shopping centres at all costs

to give this unusually perceptive 4 year old his due, this is probably less about 'I'm so not buying into Christmas and its associated public sector shutdown, Mum' and more about 'I don't like the scary old man with the big beard'.

You sound angry.

Does your DS have SN? (I know lots of DC on the autistic spectrum hate presents and celebrations.) Or is it possible he's copying your attitude to Christmas to please you?

If i never gave my dc a bday celebration didn't do balloons, presents after school, cake, restaurant and party or treat, then they wouldn't miss it. Children are conditioned by us from an early age. Children are conditioned to not miss all kinds of things.

Well yes they would miss it when they realised almost everyone else celebrates birthdays. Social conditioning isn't limited to the home.

Wrt your ils I don't think they are unreasonable to want to celebrate xmas with their grandson or wonder why you're not going down the traditional route. It's fair enough that you want to go away but you've made it sound like their reaction is unreasonable and it's really not.

Lots of replies have highlighted that Spain does have a Christmas period. We stayed with a family friend for Reyes this year and it was great the kids loved it. But it was very loud, very busy and took over the whole town it was much more festive than I have ever seen anywhere in the UK. Solely on this experience I would say that if you want a non festive break Spain may not be the country for you.

why can't the dad do it if it's that important?

I love christmas, I couldn't not celebrate it, but it's not some kind of duty and neither is it something only women can do

plus every holiday ds always gets sick and what happens no chemist or doctors open

Why would this be any different in Spain?

familyiswhatmatters especially your side of the family OP? You sound like you're spoiling for fight. You are aware that you are likely to run into a Christmas decoration in Spain?

Sounds more like mum doesn't like Christmas and a four year old has picked up on it.

If you tug him away from the Santa in the shopping centre because you don't want to be part of it, he's going to dislike it.

OP, In Spain the CAPs/CSs (Centro de Atención Primaria / Centro de Salud - Community Health Centres) are open 24 hours, Christmas season included, for emergencies, walk-in-centre basis. They have nurses, GPs, etc. In some cases even paediatricians (my parents' local one).
At least one pharmacy per town / area is always open, day and night, Christmas or whatever, They are called Farmacia de Guardia.

You sound a little bit angry OP about the whole affair tbh.

Has your DS never experienced Christmas?

Why does he get a present every two weeks but not at Christmas or birthdays?

Sorry OP but your post is completely bizarre to me.

I'm looking at doing the same. Last Christmas was a tough one for me, found out my partner was cheating a few days before, spent Christmas feeling down surrounded by people having fun. I'm dreading this year as I have fallen out with some family members so I'm looking at taking the dc's away.

Lovemusic33

Sorry you're going through that

Completely understandable.

However the OP's reasoning seems to be that because she hates Christmas her whole family should as well.

It's highly likely that her son has picked up on this so avoids getting excited or mixed up in the magic.

I think it's completely selfish.

OP you sound like an incredibly dramatic and difficult person.

Go away, don't go away, celebrate a lot, or a little, or not at all. But don't project that your son doesn't care about Christmas just because you happen to find the period stressful because you can't find an open chemist for two days..

LaBrujaPiruja We have the same where I live (in the UK) - not necessarily pharmacies, but certainly out-of-hours GPs, walk-in centres at hospitals, and A&E departments.

Dentists are closed on Bank Holidays but if the OP's son gets emergency tooth problems every single Christmas I would be rather concerned. 😬

My dc were never bothered about Santa but they're both 18+ now and would be aghast if we didn't decorate and have our usual traditions . Saying your dc is not bothered is fine , sure they don't know what they are missing out on but they will know when they / he is an adult and joins another family who do a proper Christmas ( like my dh) .

IHateUncleJamie, I know, I live here
but someone said they would be closed in Spain
and I find it easier in Spain (to find a GP/Chemist during a weekend/holiday) than in London

Ah, I see 👍 Apologies! ☺️

I feel sorry for your PILs too. Do they have any other GC they can spend Christmas with?

I am guessing your DS doesn't give a stuff about Christmas because he is picking up on his Mum's negative attitude to it. You don't sound like a very joyful person.

we have been to Spain a couple of times for Christmas as DH has family there. Most recent time it was about 23 degrees. Previous time is was very cold. I think it is quite unpredicable.

We took stocking fillers (and stockings) with us, and did main presents when we got home (we always do main presents from us and stocking from FC anyway). Dc did not feel they were missing out by not getting their main present on the day as their cousins were not getting their presents until 6 Jan anyway as they do presents for the "3 kings" rather than christmas.

Other family that we were not going to be seeing over the christmas period posted presents to arrive before we left. Kids got a choice of whether to open before we went or when we get back.

So I dont think it needs to be all or nothing. But sounds like you do not really celebrate Christmas when you are here anyway, so no reason you should do so just because you are in Spain.

Yabu and miserable.
Giving presents and treats every two weeks is why he is not fussed about Christmas (in your opinion).
Going away is a lovely idea but there my need to forgo Christmas.
It ssems to me that people who can afford Christmas like saying "I'm not Christmas because blah blah blah" but those who cannot afford it get into debt by spending loads and going out.
It's customary to celebrate Christmas in this country, your dc should not be made to feel different for no apparent reason.
"Never opened a present" ??? Ok. Then. That's odd. Sounds like something you have put upon him and not something he has specified. Kids are curious. I can't work out why he hasn't, unless you do it for him.