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AIBU?

. . . to get married on a Sunday?

36 replies

ZiggyForever · 03/07/2017 11:55

We've booked our wedding for a Sunday in October in the Lake District. Our guests will be travelling from Manchester, Sheffield, Scotland and Ireland and most will stay overnight.

I have a creeping feeling of unease - we chose a Sunday because it was thousands of pounds cheaper than a Saturday, which meant we could have all our guests there all day instead of just a small wedding breakfast and bigger evening do - the logic being, if people are going to travel all the way to the Lakes, we want to give them a lovely day, feed them well, drinks etc.

But with all the anti-weekday wedding talk on here, I'm really worried and feeling guilty now, because most people will need to take the Monday off.

AIBU unreasonable in having our wedding on a Sunday . . . ?

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MaryPoppinsPenguins · 03/07/2017 11:57

It doesn't bother me, I don't get all the hate over people's wedding choices. I went to a wedding on a Wednesday a few weeks ago... it was great!

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araiwa · 03/07/2017 11:57

You can have it whenever you want but you cant complain if people dont come

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Tomorrowillbeachicken · 03/07/2017 11:58

Can't see the issue tbh.

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ImperialBlether · 03/07/2017 11:58

Are they staying over on the Saturday or the Sunday?

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divadee · 03/07/2017 11:58

Look at it this way. If they can't/don't want to take the Monday off they can either go for the day or not go. If you know that some people won't be able to attend cos of the day then you won't get upset if they can't make it.

I don't have a problem with a wedding on a day other than a Saturday if people have a problem they just don't attend.

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CMOTDibbler · 03/07/2017 12:00

I think you have to be prepared for the evening do to thin out early, especially if it is term time so people are driving home that night

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CuntWagon · 03/07/2017 12:00

I think it's less of an issue if people have to travel anyway - they will just need the Monday off instead of Friday. Sunday weddings with all local guests run the risk that people just leave early instead of taking the next day off which dampens party spirit a bit.

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Underthemoonlight · 03/07/2017 12:02

You might have been better choosing a Friday wedding atleast people can let go because it's Saturday the next day where as if they are having to travel to your wedding they won't be able to if they have to travel back on the Monday to be at work for Tuesday.

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SentientCushion · 03/07/2017 12:02

We went to a wedding on a Sunday last year and it was lovely, we were in the wedding party so we booked the day off work the next day but don't be surprised if lots of people leave early. The party wasn't as wild as it would have been on a Saturday as lots of people weren't drinking either but that's not always a bad thing.

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PinkHeart5911 · 03/07/2017 12:03

Yanbu, I see nothing wrong in a Sunday.

Remember you aren't forcing anyone to attend your wedding they always have the option of not coming if they don't like it being on a Sunday.

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FakePlasticTeaLeaves · 03/07/2017 12:05

It sounds like you made the right choice, so try not to worry. I'd have no issue going to a Sunday wedding!

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nocoolnamesleft · 03/07/2017 12:06

I suspect a lot of people will leave early to get back to work Mon morning/kids back to school. Partly depends whereabouts in the Lakes, as some places have worse transport links than others. Oh, and if not handy for a good train service, likely to find that the drinkers will be unhappy as would need to be driving either late that night or early the next am.

I'd have no problem with it, but I don't drink, and love an excuse to leave a bit early before everyone else has drunk too much to hold a decent conversation...

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TheNaze73 · 03/07/2017 12:06

YANBU.

As long as you accept that not everyone will be there as they'll have work etc, you'll be fine.

Have a great day

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PotteringAlong · 03/07/2017 12:06

As long as you don't mind the evening but winding up by about 9 ish so people can leave / people saying no because they have to work or go to school the next day that's fine. If you're going to get stroppy because people can't come then that's more of a problem.

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2014newme · 03/07/2017 12:07

If you have lots of friends who are teachers or have kids, unless it's school hols they couldn't stay for the Sunday night.
Could be a damp squib if people start to drift off home

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IntheBESTpossibleTASTE · 03/07/2017 12:16

we chose a Sunday because it was thousands of pounds cheaper than a Saturday............we want to give them a lovely day, feed them well, drinks etc

It is cheaper for you, but you have passed the cost on to your guests which is something I don't agree with and the thing is, all the guests will know it too - it kind of leaves a bitter taste

I'd have no issue going to a Sunday wedding, if it didn't involve an overnight stay but I would be leaving early.

Don't be surprised if the atmosphere peters out early

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Bobbiepin · 03/07/2017 12:20

Loads of Jewish people get married on Sunday and its never been a problem although we do usually try to pick a bank holiday. At the end of the day, the wedding is about you and your OH not other people. You'll mostly remember people who were there not those who didn't make it. I know some people left my wedding early because I was told but I couldn't tell you who, nor did I care. Enjoy your day and congratulations

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OvariesForgotHerPassword · 03/07/2017 12:21

People will either go or not.

I got married on the Sunday before Christmas last year. It was great - so much cheaper than alternative dates, no-one left early (in fact DH and I retired to the honeymoon suite much earlier than anyone else Wink ) and everyone who drinks, drank :)

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ZiggyForever · 03/07/2017 12:29

Inthebestpossibletaste it wasn't cheaper for us, in reality, because we had a budget and had to stick to it. The difference was, if we got married on a Saturday, the budget would only have stretched to a few people for the ceremony and wedding breakfast and the rest at the evening do, whereas if we had it on a Sunday, we could afford to have everyone at the ceremony and wedding breakfast. It felt like the right thing to do to invite everyone all day, rather than ask them to travel all the way to the Lakes just for an evening do, IYSWIM?

I did speak to my teacher friend in advance as I knew it would be a problem for her, and if anyone else couldn't make it then I'd be sad but would totally understand and never ever make them feel bad about it!

I had to put some feelers out anyway in terms of dates and who would be coming as we're limited in capacity to 70-odd people anyway.

Ugh. It's a nightmare. Should have eloped!

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sysysysref · 03/07/2017 12:30

Jewish weddings are almost always on a Sunday, never an issue and unfortunately never cheaper.

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MargaretCavendish · 03/07/2017 12:35

I definitely agree that if the other option was asking people to travel for an evening invite then this is better. I don't think a Sunday wedding is as bad as a weekday one as it means people can go and not miss work, they just have to leave early (not the Irish ones - but then they'd have needed to travel on Friday for a Sunday wedding). I've been to one Sunday wedding and it was nice but, as other people have said, a bit subdued and early finishing. It definitely didn't ruin the day though. I would absolutely plan to be retiring quite early if I were you, though - if you're intending to stay on the dancefloor until near the end then I think it could become anticlimactic as people thin out.

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Bobbiepin · 03/07/2017 16:06

@sysy they are never cheaper because we invite the world and his wife and kosher food costs a fortune!!

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StillDrivingMeBonkers · 03/07/2017 16:10

I have declined Sunday weddings for that reason.

However, if I were close to the person rather than a generic invite, I would attend.

Weddings now, as a guest , are prohibitive. Outfit x 2, new shoes, handbag, hotel, present, hair done, travel costs, bar bill. The last weeding we went to cost the tick end of £500 for the weekend.

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Funnyface1 · 03/07/2017 16:10

I got married on a Sunday. It was a lovely day, worked out fine, no trouble at all. A lot of people work weekends now so would have to book Sunday/Monday off to attend anyway.

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SorrelSoup · 03/07/2017 16:11

Sorry to be negative but we had a Sunday family wedding in the spring and it was really quiet. Lots of people left early and there wasn't the usual evening do influx of people. Everyone kept going on about why a Sunday. People just couldn't let go and enjoy themselves. I had a good time but I did feel for the bride and groom. Perhaps they didn't notice though?

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