Have you ever fallen out of a friendship?

[BeyonceZ]

Without any concrete reason or rift or argument?

What happened? Did you fight the feeling?

I've let a friendship 'drift' when it becomes obvious you have nothing in common anymore - eg you've moved on from that particular workplace and the only thing you have in common is ex-colleagues.

I never fall out with people, life is too short for unpleasantness, but backing away, making sure you aren't in the same social crowd at the same time. Not quite 'ghosting' but close to it.

I have a friend I've stopped bothering with. She never gets in touch or invites me round and it ended up being always me to initiate things, and eventually I couldn't bear the indifference any more.

If I arranged to meet up she was perfectly pleasant, but it felt like I didn't mean anything to her as , when I stopped making the effort she rarely got in touch.

Shame, as we've known each other 15 years but if she can't be arsed, I can't either.

I have drifted from friends when meeting up became an effort and no longer enjoyable. In particular a group of friends who post children became incredibly competitive about their perfect lives and perfect children. I either felt bored or entirely inadequate in their company so I just made excuses not to meet up.

Yeah and I'm quite sad about it. I had a baby, she got divorced. We are at different points in our lives and have little in common anymore. It is a shame because we were once inseparable.

Twice unfortunately.

First one was a lady I worked with - started off as a really happy friendship based on a similarly experience we were going through. However as time went on I started to realise what a nasty cow she was to me. In front of my other friends she was all sweetness and light towards me, to the point where my other friends were commenting on how close we were etc. However she was so horrible to me on more than one occasion - taking her mood swings out on me mainly. So that was the start of the end but she was also so self obsessed that in the end I got to the point where seeing her was a chore. We had a smal fall out over something trivial but I thought I would give her a wide berth and let myself reflect on the friendship. She contacted me by email and actually came across really horribly again, minimising my feelings about the fall out and I replied explaining why I wanted to move on - it didn't go down well at all and I revived the most bitchy nasty email I have ever seen. From a woman in her late 30s. It set my mind at rest that I had done the right thing. I do miss the good times with her and it is a little awkward as some of my friends ask if I see her but I just style it out and say we are both busy. Bad mouthing someone isn't my thing and just want to move on.

The second one is someone I met through a mutual friend. Me and the mutual friend drifted apart years ago (her views on life were so different to mine that I found them offensive). The Mutual friend is also massive gossip but nasty with it which was something I hated. Unfortunately mutual friend is still in my life but I have nothing to do with her for above reasons. My friend and I agreed to not speak about the mutual friend as it always led to some drama, think she said he said type situations. However friend has not been able to stick to the agreement so I have said to her that I cannot continue our friendship as although I am not asking her to choose between us, I am asking her not to speak about me to the mutual friend which keeps happening. This is the main reason but in addition she is extremely bad as planning and organising so it is very rare that we see each other and seems to have got lazy now she has a new boyfriend. So I weighed it up and decided that it was not in my best interest to continue investing in the friendship against my feelings and the effect on my health. Again I feel sad, more so than the first friend, but my fragile feelings could not take the hassle anymore.

What's the deal with you?

Bloody hell OP just realised that you asked something different. Sorry!

I had a whole group of friends I met through work, really thought we were close. Then after my wedding I moved & my sister overheard the group bitching about me in a cafe & laughing about my weight. I ghosted the whole lot of them & feel so much better for it.

Yup. I had a friend I adored but she clearly didn't feel the same. We lived 20 min walk apart and I'd always suggest meeting up. She was always up for it but never reciprocated and never contacted me first. I decided to see what happened after I moved away. I moved just before Christmas at the same time as starting a new job.

She never text to say good luck, ask how the move was or to wish my merry Christmas. I realised it was one sided and I let her go.

That was 2.5 years ago. I really miss her though.

I did. Friend ignored me whenever more than 2 of us met. I'd ask her a question, for example, she'd answer but to another person in the group. It happened every bloody time and made me feel like I was invisible. At first, I thought, am I being hypersensitive here - but its frequency and regularity convinced me otherwise. I pulled back and feel better not putting myself through that. She's quite intense.

I also questioned her loyalty during a dreadful period of my life whilst separating from my partner. In the end, I thought 'up to her what she thinks but I don't have to listen to you sympathising with the bastard who made life hell for me and my kids'.

A shame in some ways but it hurt me too much for us to stay in the friendship.