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To feel a bit out we didn't receive a proper thank you

17 replies

sassylocks · 02/07/2017 21:29

I understand that it was our choice and you don't give gifts just to get a thank you however I can't help but feel a bit put out that we have just given a very expensive gift and large sum of money (to us right now) to SIL as a wedding present- we weren't invited as it was an overseas wedding. Money is really tight right now and I'm a bit peeved that the only thank you was a casual one when DH called to see how the wedding went and asked if she received the money and gift we sent. AIBU? I don't really see a prompting call from DH as a genuine thank you but maybe I'm being over the top?!

OP posts:
sassylocks · 02/07/2017 21:30

Title should read to feel a bit put out*

OP posts:
NellieFiveBellies · 02/07/2017 21:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

McTufty · 02/07/2017 21:32

When was the wedding? I totally agree a card is necessary but it may take a few weeks. I got married a month ago, and am only about half way through writing 70 or so cards.

MyPatronusIsAUnicorn · 02/07/2017 21:34

YANBU. At least you got that though. I gave my sister cash, never even got a text or anything to say thank you. Not a word! Seems to be the way these days though. I felt bad because we couldn't afford muc cash for a friends wedding, but we still got a proper thank you card with one of their wedding pictures on, I appreciated the effort they had gone to wrt thank yous.

kaytee87 · 02/07/2017 21:34

It sounds like the wedding was recent? It took me a few months to get all of my thank yous out between waiting for photographs, ordering thank you cards and writing about a hundred or more of them.

sassylocks · 02/07/2017 21:35

About 6 weeks ago but they didn't have any wedding guests and only about 5/6 people sent gifts according to MIL. I fully understand for a more conventional wedding with lots of guests it can take several months.

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Justmuddlingalong · 02/07/2017 21:35

If the wedding was very recent then YABU, thank you cards generally arrive a month or two after the event. You ABU to give more than you can afford and then complain, that's not your SIL's issue.

LottieDoubtie · 02/07/2017 21:36

6 weeks? Abroad? When did they get back to the U.K?

Honestly I'd leave it 3 months before I got sniffy tbh!

MrsDustyBusty · 02/07/2017 21:38

They probably don't even have their cards yet.

2014newme · 02/07/2017 21:40

What was the reason for the large amount of cash?
Did you go to the wedding?
How much was it?

pringlecat · 02/07/2017 21:56

They might have ordered thank you cards with a photo from the wedding on them, in which case, it'll take a while for the formal thank you notes to go out.

LaPampa · 02/07/2017 22:26

Or maybe one party doesn't believe in thank you notes so the other is struggling through writing them all because they do. Not that I know what that is like but I imagine it slows down the speed with which notes get sent out 😬

Justmuddlingalong · 02/07/2017 22:34

You don't mention being peeved at her new spouse, why is it only SIL's responsibility to thank you? It sounds like there is a back story between you and your SIL. Is there?

user1495915742 · 02/07/2017 22:38

Crikey, it took me months to get our thank you cards out. Ill family member, house move, Christmas and full time job didn't help.

2014newme · 02/07/2017 22:44

Perhaps they're too busy spending your hard earned cash up the mall

2014newme · 02/07/2017 22:45

Nb if money is really tight why n earth would you give a lot of money? Strange decision to prioritise their family over yours 🤔

ssd · 02/07/2017 22:58

I once gave a decent amount of cash (for us) to a relative and got a short text back, felt like a slap in the face, as if we hadnt gave them enough.

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