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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to say no to giving gifts to students?

37 replies

Glitteratii · 02/07/2017 20:20

There are teacher wars where there have not been teacher wars before...

A colleague of mine bought her tutees (a class of 30) wrapped Xmas present and card each, an Easter Egg each (full size), and is now preparing a summer pack.. HOW can she afford it? WHY does she think it's necessary? I wouldn't mind but it makes me the rest of us look bad

Meanwhile the student teachers are leaving and engaging in similar 'oh, I've just made some gift bags for mine with personalised notes because somebody should tell them they are special..'
We work in a secondary school - it's not a posh school, and we're not rich teachers.

I've always done something small / homemade / played party games instead (classroom karaoke is always worth the tidy-up) because I'm poor and think buying other people's children gifts excessive... but maybe I'm just a teacher-bitch

AIBU?

OP posts:

Allthebestnamesareused · 02/07/2017 20:25

Sometimes my son would come out with a small bag of haribo or a fun size milky way as a "gift" but no way wrapped gifts!

bigchris · 02/07/2017 20:27

They sometime did this at primary

Tbh it made up a tiny bit for the ridiculous class collections, £150 vouchers

User0ne · 02/07/2017 20:27

Hahaha :) YADNBU

There are a couple of new (and young) teachers at my place who do the same. I buy a cake for us to share at Xmas and the end of the year but that's it.

I figure I'll get them something when they leave at the end of yr11. Budging for teacher-bitch No2 position

Marmitegrapes · 02/07/2017 20:31

Used to get Christmas and end of year gifts and mini eggs etc at Christmas off my form teachers at school, but it was an incredibly small school, the whole year was under 15 pupils. I dont know how they afford it in a normal sized school!

AuditAngel · 02/07/2017 20:33

My primary aged children seem to get a nice pencil or a pack of Haribo/Easter chocolate lolly which I think is a nice gesture, but as they are classes of about 30 will soon mount up for the teachers buying them.

We do a collection by form which I prefer (no hunting for an individual gift) and they get something worthwhile.

Ds is at secondary, they do secret Santa and the form tutor is included; last Christmas the tutor bought for DS, he got a water bottle and a pair of silly glasses.

drspouse · 02/07/2017 20:34

I'm a Guide leader and other leaders, especially of younger sections, seem to do this. Lots of FB pictures of 20 Easter Eggs in a trolley.
I give my time, thanks!

happypoobum · 02/07/2017 20:34

Fuck no! My students buy me gifts......tis the way.....

Blueemeraldagain · 02/07/2017 20:39

I work in an SEMH school and have 6 boys in my tutor group. I buy them selection boxes, Easter eggs and will get an end of year gift. It costs £8-10 (normally get a buy 2 get 1 free offer).

Seems crazy in a 30ish mainstream class.

Original poster

Glitteratii · 02/07/2017 20:40

Lots of FB pictures of 20 Easter Eggs in a trolley.

This seems to be the way it is going - like it's some sort of competition.. Is it even for the kids' benefit, or are they doing it to look as committed as poss?

Happypoobum: Fuck no! My students buy me gifts
HELL YES!

OP posts:

BrieOnAnOatcake · 02/07/2017 20:41

I used to give my students a fun pencil (bulk buy) in summer and Haribo at xmas.

Darkblueskies · 02/07/2017 20:41

Wow. No one in my school does this. I do a prize draw at the end of each term as I give out raffle tickets for every question answered in class. Costs me around £10 a term. That's all!

Sunshinegirls · 02/07/2017 20:42

Yanbu. I think a fun activity like your classroom karaoke is going to be more appreciated and remembered for longer than a small gift.

BrieOnAnOatcake · 02/07/2017 20:43

My kids have kept the novelty gifts their teachers have given them. a rubber or pencil or Haribo will cost less than a fiver.

They got Xmas cards signed by their teacher and Ta too.

LooksBetterWithAFilter · 02/07/2017 20:45

Dc usually get a small something from the teachers and classroom assistants but I've always thought it must cost a bomb. They are primary though. They broke up Friday and both boys have come out with bubbles, sweets, pencils and rubbers and a couple of party bag filler type toys. They are delighted and it is a nice touch.
Dd is secondary and her teachers were handing out sweets. There was only three periods or something on Friday because they finished at lunchtime so not like they were handing out sweets to hundred of kids either.

zeebeedee · 02/07/2017 20:47

I don't know any teachers who do this (and I have 3 DS at 3 different schools, and I am a teacher - so I know a lot of teachers!!)

But at Prom last week, DS2's English teachers had written postcards for all the Y11's he taught with individual messages and wishes for the future - DS loved it, as did his classmates, and I feel it must have taken lots of time and energy - maybe chocolates would have been easier!!

zeebeedee · 02/07/2017 20:49

Actually DS1 did get a baby spider plant in about Y3? Another gift that had time and thought, but not money, invested in it

RainbowsAndUnicorn · 02/07/2017 20:50

Ours have always had a small gift at Christmas and end of summer both at Primary and Secondary. I know lots of teachers like to do it as it gives them pleasure and is nice for the chidren.

Jaxhog · 02/07/2017 20:59

Surely the students buy/make the teacher presents! Why on earth would a teacher buy every student a present? Do teachers now get paid a whole lot more than they used to?

YoureAllABunchOfBastards · 02/07/2017 21:00

My class came and told me at Easter 'Miss X gave all of her class an Easter Egg'. Oh, lovely, I said. I'd rather spend my money on gin.

I did make them biscuits before their exams, though!

BrieOnAnOatcake · 02/07/2017 21:02

Jax. Haribo is less than 10p a pack in bulk so what 3quid at most.

Similarly packets of 10 pencils from online.

I've taken a tub of celebrations in before for my 6th formers (a fiver?)

Not lots of money.

DramaInPyjamas · 02/07/2017 21:04

Years ago My children got a daffodil bulb from a teacher - we dug them up and brought them with us to replant when we moved home.
Another made homemade personalised and laminated bookmarks which they still use. Things that still bring them joy hopefully for years to come

Cheerybigbottom · 02/07/2017 21:04

My son was given a small stocking Christmas tree ornament with a Freddo inside at Christmas. Nothing at Easter or any other time and it really would not be expected.

Emeraude · 02/07/2017 21:10

My best friend and I shared a year group last year and clubbed together to buy a bumper collection of books to distribute to the kids, but we adored them, had both taught them twice, and they are the best year group in the school. I have done it earlier in my career elsewhere, but quickly learnt that it is way too expensive and none of the children or parents cared.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 02/07/2017 21:13

Our teachers give the kids little gifts. Last Christmas they got small cellophane bags with something like a pencil, rubber, ruler & tiny wee chocolate Santa. Easter they got a nice bookmark & a couple of mini eggs. Really inexpensive, but the kids love getting something from the teacher. They generally manage to personalise it where they can - like their favourite animal on the bookmarks, or their favourite colour pencil. It's a lovely school & the teachers are genuinely lovely.

AvoidingCallenetics · 02/07/2017 21:14

I thibk it's sweet that the student teachers buy pressies for the kids - don't suppose that level of enthusiasm will last long

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