DP looked through my phone when I was sleeping
Snoopingdh123 · 02/07/2017 19:15
I was having a nap on the sofa (am pregnant and ill - don't judge me yet!)
When I woke up, dp said he'd been looking through my phone including all of my MN threads and had a go at me for 'talking about him on the internet'
I've looked at his phone before, to find a picture or a text etc but have never ever snooped, for him to have gone through it enough to open up my internet and navigate my MN and find what I've been saying means he must have had a proper snoop!
I'm very angry, we've been together 5 years, have DC together etc and have never had affairs or anything and I've told him he clearly doesn't trust me if he's looking through my phone.
AIBU to think you don't look through someones phone to that extent 'just to have a look' what would you do in this situation? Should I let it go?
Babyblues14 · 02/07/2017 19:20
My dp checked my phone a few weeks ago. More specifically my Instagram. He doesn't have it and I only got it because I am pregnant and wanted to put the pictures up somewhere and I hate Facebook.
Took a picture of bump while I was in the bath. You couldn't see anything only bump sticking out of the water. But dp wasnt happy. I basically told him to get over it.
But I didnt care about the fact he looked at my phone, I told him the password myself, I have nothing to hide so he can search wherever he likes
lottiegarbanzo · 02/07/2017 19:38
For me, openness goes with trust. So yes, I could ask DP to check my messages to find a detail for me - because I know there'd be nothing of concern to be seen there but, while I don't hide my MN username (and don't talk about him particularly, as it happens) I would consider it a big breach of trust if he went searching for me here. He has access / lack of secrecy, only because he wouldn't abuse it.
hopefullygood · 02/07/2017 19:53
I don't think it's a problem for a partner to go into your phone if they need to find something like a phone number etc!
But going through your mumsnet is out of order! Snooping through all you messages etc is not on either.
Why did he feel the need to do that? That's what I would be asking!
LikebeinginMI5 · 02/07/2017 19:54
I look through dh phone daily, have him in find a friend so I can always see where he is and am generally controlling and jealous (but he understands why). He never looks at my phone but I wouldn't care at all. He even asks before he goes in my bag if he needs for example some money from my purse or something for dc I've told him so many times I don't care if he goes through my bag!
Saiman · 02/07/2017 19:57
Yanbu. I got dh doing and told him he was a twat, changed my passcode and told him snooping was not on.
Whats next hiring a pi? Putting a tracker in your car boot?
Trust is a concept, a belief. If it has to be proved its not there. I was more than hapoy for dh have access to my phone. Until he went through personal and private converstations i have had with my friends.
He obviously didnt find anything to get upset about. Because i dont cheat. But i am entitled to privacy.
redannie118 · 02/07/2017 20:01
My dh uses my phone all the time (he can never find his !) But only google search , photos and email(his email not mine)he says everything else is mine and i have a right to privacy. As he can use my phone anytime he wants he knows there are no trust issues. Sorry op but thats bang out of order and i would be bloody furious !
MrsKCastle · 02/07/2017 20:40
My DH can use my phone at any time, so if his is low on battery etc, that would be fine. However, I would definitely consider it an invasion of my privacy if he went looking at what I'd posted on MN.
It would be the same the other way round, I would borrow his phone for a specific purpose but would never look at internet history or who he has spoken to on Whatsapp.
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