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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Teenage drinking

20 replies

Babyroobs · 02/07/2017 14:58

AIBU to think parents shouldn't be letting 16 year olds get drunk at a house party. 16 yr old ds went to a friends party last night. The party was held at his friends dad's home and clearly most of the kids were drinking. My ds wasn't as he is on medication that means he could potentially be very ill if he drinks.
Ds's friend ended up being so drunk that he was sick , some of which went on ds's brand new trainers that he had saved up for himself and cost £70. They are a hessian type material which is really not easy to just wipe clean.
AIBU to think that it was irresponsible of the parents to allow kids to drink or is this just what happens ?

OP posts:
Pengggwn · 02/07/2017 15:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PinkHeart5911 · 02/07/2017 15:03

I've no issue with a 16 year old having a small amount of alcohol but sending your child to a booze party is a very different thing.

StickThatInYourPipe · 02/07/2017 15:04

Not got a teenager so don't know how I feel about it from a parent point of view.

But not being tooo long since I was 16 I can assure you, if they want to drink they will drink. Probably better to be in a safe space than at the park

IHaveBrilloHair · 02/07/2017 15:04

I allow my 15yr old to have a couple of ciders or similar, but I wouldn't allow anyone else's child, it's up to their parents.

Original poster
Babyroobs · 02/07/2017 15:07

I'm not against them drinking altogether. I have an older ds and have encouraged him to have a glass of wine or larger at home, but he's never been interested. I think it's far safer for them to try it out at home first. I guess I'm just annoyed that kids were getting so drunk they were throwing up but hen again if they're not used to it, it probably only took a couple of drinks ?

OP posts:
araiwa · 02/07/2017 15:38

Adults are sick after drinking too much too

StickThatInYourPipe · 02/07/2017 15:40

Tbh I can be sick after 2 wines as I very rarely drink. Although a load of 15 year olds? I think that's really unlikely!

Littlelondoner · 03/07/2017 00:11

Rather that then them sat in park all hours or clubbing in town.

Teenagers will drink regardless at least this is a bit safer.

At 16 you have just finished gcses I can more than see the need and want for celebration.

I think you are being a bit unreasonable.

WishfulThanking · 03/07/2017 00:16

YANBU
Drinking is so normalised in this country and it is ridiculous. 16 year olds are still children and their organs are still developing, especially the brain. Nobody needs to drink alcohol, least of all children. I would be very annoyed if my child had gone to that party and been exposed to that without my prior knowledge. I would not throw a party for 16 year olds and let them drink.

BadLad · 03/07/2017 03:02

Ds's friend ended up being so drunk that he was sick , some of which went on ds's brand new trainers that he had saved up for himself and cost £70.

Chalk up another benefit of shoes-off households [smug]

TheSnowFairy · 03/07/2017 12:05

Bad but then it would have gone on his toes Envy

Op - YANBU. DS1 is 15 and I would be deeply unimpressed at this - it obviously wasn't a few supervised drinks.

Mulledwine1 · 03/07/2017 12:19

The idea that "if you don't let them they will do it anyway" is a load of nonsense. It's the same argument that is trotted out for teenage sex. Just because something is legal at 16, doesn't make it desirable. If you don't make it easy for your teens, they can't do it unless they very very determined - lots aren't and will wait until they are a bit older, and hopefully in a more mature and desirable relationship.

And the same goes for drinking. A colleague of mine used to let her 15 year old take 4 ciders or lowish alcohol beer to parties, saying that she'd rather know what he was drinking. My ds is now 14.5 and I am horrified at the idea he could be drinking that much in a few months' time. I let him have a taster of wine, but eg yesterday we were out and I offered him a bit and he declined,. Long may that continue. A couple of drinks is fine - a drunken party is not.

Jingleboom · 03/07/2017 18:16

Ds's friend ended up being so drunk that he was sick , some of which went on ds's brand new trainers that he had saved up for himself and cost £70. They are a hessian type material which is really not easy to just wipe clean

Page one of 'Learning Lessons the Hard Way'

LuxCoDespondent · 03/07/2017 18:24

YABU. Children are allowed to drink once they reach the age of five, it's they can't buy it until they're older. People need to occasionally exceed the limit to know where the limit lies, and this is especially true with teenagers. It doesn't take much for someone with little experience to drink too much; if they are drinking quickly they will often not realise that something is wrong until it's too late.

Isadora2007 · 03/07/2017 18:27

😂😂😂
Age 16 someone can get married, kill and be killed for queen and country and drive a motorcycle. I think they can handle- or learn how to- booze.
It's ridiculous that the age of consent for things isn't set at one age anyway- I reckon 16/17 should be the age for everything.
My teens have been allowed to drink from 12/13. Supervised to begin with and then by 15/16 I let go of the reins.
Teen dd just turned 17 and has had three house parties in the last year. All of which included masses of alcohol. First party had 17 teens sleeping over after it.. and a floor that felt like a nightclub (sticky!!!!) for weeks. Yes she got completely plastered, no she wasn't sick and neither was anyone in the house. A few were outside on the way up the road.
Yes teens make mistakes with drinking and they drink too much and they can then be vulnerable. So I would far rather my teen learnt their limits with friends age 16/17 than once out with strangers and members of the public age 18plus.

I drank regularly from age 15 and when I went off to uni age 17 so many of my peers put themselves into very dangerous situations through drinking too much with people they didn't know. Several had unprotected sex, one was raped. I had known my limits from age 15/16 and went out and drank safely. I was far more savvy than those with strict and uptight parents who refused to accept their child was growing up.
I've seen for myself the way my teens already handle their drink. Dd is still one for drinking a bit too much but she will get there.

WishfulThanking · 03/07/2017 18:40

Dd is still one for drinking a bit too much but she will get there.

Course she will. She just needs to keep at it. She's got you as a role model.

Emboo19 · 03/07/2017 18:52

At 16 I was going out to pubs and clubbing. My dad got me my fake ID!

Most house parties I went to from around 14 had alcohol, most of us would bring our own. The kids who's parents wouldn't buy for them, would beg or buy of the ones who had it.
Just be proud your DS, knows better than to risk drinking with his medical condition and leave the parenting of the other kids to their parents.

Violetcharlotte · 03/07/2017 19:03

16 seems to be the age the majority of teens start drinking alcohol at parties. My DS turned 16 in May and the last couple of months seems to have had Birthday or end of school parties or gatherings every weekend. We had one night where he decided to drink vodka and I had to go and pick him up as he could barely walk, but that seems to have taught him a lesson as he's been pretty sensible since then.

WishfulThanking · 03/07/2017 19:52

OP, just because others are lax about this doesn't mean you have to be. The drinking culture in this country is ridiculous.

I had a colleague fondly recall how she had to shower her 16 year old while he was paralytic. 'Aww, bless, he needs to learn these lessons'. Really?Hmm

IHaveBrilloHair · 03/07/2017 19:59

Mulledwine
I offered my Dd a drink at occasion we were at this weekend, she declined as she didn't want it and was happy with a coke, just because I allow her small amounts of alcohol doesn't mean she can't say no.

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