How much should a grandparent see their grandchild

[familyiswhatmatters]

I am conflicted.tbh I don't like my mother in law very much at all but I feel bad for my son I no that my little boy feels sad that she can't be bothered to see him.2 hours visiting him every 3 months is this ridiculous. Aibu

Mil will only see baby boy (who will be born in sept) once in a blue moon. She lives in nz. We are uk. She made the choice to move but is pissed off that she won't see him much. We'll try to take him out there every 2/3 years. She will visit once a year if that.

My parents will see him more often as they are closer.

Well, do they live in the next street or in another country?

There are no "shoulds" here imo. It depends on lots of things, not least everyone's relationships with one another.

There's no should. They either care or not but you don't have the duty to present your child to the Grandparents like a piece of wood.
My Mum is genuinely interested in my DD and DD loves her. My Father expects me to update him on her progress in life, send pictures and present her when we visit our home country without actually showing genuine interest in her as a human being. I honestly hate this attitude especially as he doesn't bother talking to her at all and only sends a short text when she's her birthday. She doesn't really know him and he's a stranger to her, largely because of his 'king of the roost' attitude which I refuse to support.

Do you invite her over or ask to visit, suggest things to do together, invite her to things

I used to see my mother every 2 weeks but now I've stopped doing the 70 mile round trip it's less than once every 2 - 4 months. It hurts but she's never really made an effort with me about anything so it's not a surprise.

Agree that there is no should. My DM has DS overnight once a week. But she lives 20 minutes away. My MIL sees him 6/8 times a year where she visits twice, we visit twice and then we also meet up in the middle for coffee and a chance for her to spoil him. She lives 4 hours away.
My FIL sees him for maybe an hour twice a year - but not at all during his first year apart from at a family wedding. (He lives 4 hours away). My FIL is moving away to Europe this year so am expecting that to drop even more.

Well my inlaws live 300 miles away and we have seen them one afternoon in the last 2 and a half years.

My parents live abroad so we see my Dad every couple of years for 2 weeks and my mum once a year for two weeks.

It doesn't stop them loving their grandchildren.

I don't think there's a 'compulsory' amount of time as such. However my mum sees myself and my DS once a week for 3/4 hours, whilst DH is at mostly at work (he works a lot).
My MIL is another story. I'm not hugely keen on her, but I'm not unreasonable so I don't stop her from seeing my DS. However she never takes it upon herself to come and see him, or call to ask how he is. Only time we see her if when DH isn't working, although I'd rather use that time for a 'family day' of just me DH and DS. So on average she sees my DS once every 2 months, for 1/2 hours.
Think it depends on the circumstances really.

There are no rules.

My mum sees my dd several times a month, but she only lives a 25min drive away and we have a very close relationship.

My mil sees dd once every few months, she lives about an hour away and is just a bit rubbish really, as a grandma and mum. If we didn't make the effort to see her then she would probably only see dd once, maybe twice, a year.

Just one of those things, don't let it bother you.

My parents see DS at least twice a week, as he walks to their house after school sometimes. When he was younger it was at least once a week. However I live 2 miles away from them and we are very close..it depends on your relationship with them.i think - my in laws are dead so he only has one set of grandparents.

In laws and my folks see the lads every week, though we live on a small island so they're only 20-30 minutes away.

I don't think there is any should it's whatever you feel comfortable with and works best for you as a family.

I didn't have much of a relationship with my dads parents, same for my husband. We both had much better relationships with our mums parents.

I always felt growing up that my dad didn't try hard enough to facilitate a relationship with his parents for us, of course as a 35 year old woman I now know that to be false, he did try, they were just very difficult people and there were many factors involved that as a kid I just didn't understand.

That said, I don't want my daughter to turn round one day and say that I didn't help her have a relationship with her dads parents. We get on ok with them but they don't really make that much of an effort, his dad, for example, will only really deal with her when she's 'happy' if she's a bit fussy he is conspicuous by his absence. They see a lot of his sisters little boy as they childmind him during the week, so we make a point of going to visit them once a week, at least. I send photos of major milestones or funny little things she's done and generally just try to include them and keep them involved as much as I can.

My mum and in-laws see DS about twice a week each. They help with child care.