Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How to stop ex trying to control my life

6 replies

user1498221998 · 02/07/2017 12:19

..I'm starting to feel threatened by my ex.

He works shifts but does have a rota but never arranges contact. He does see him on average one night every 8 days but it's never for more than one night.

I am moving soon and he doesn't want me to move. He says he's going to court to stop me. I would be moving nearer him and he has a car so I will enjoy his efforts.

He introduced a girlfriend to our Son without me knowing who she was but always demands to know who 'is around his son'. If I ask him to give me a break he explains that he works full time and I 'don't work' eventhough I work part time and have full responsibility of our Son.

He always has something negative to say about my parenting 'why are his clothes dirty, is THAT what he's eating for dinner'. etc

I have out up with far too much. He just sees his Son when he feels like it, insults me, tries to stop me doing anything. I am a social worker and he slanders my name saying I'm a bad Mum. truth is he is always out of work, never made anything of his life and he's incredibly jealous and resentful that I left him and have achieved so much.

I have no idea what his rights are, so idea how to bring back control and stop him being so involved in my life. AIBU to think he's a grade A jerk and how do I stop him trying to control my life and threatening me?

He has my mobile numb er and needs it to arrange contact.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 02/07/2017 12:24

Read up about the grey rock technique.

Get a 2nd phone so you get on with your life and just check his messages once a week.

Stipulate that contact needs to be agreed 3 weeks in advance and any days DC isn't available each week due to activities. If he doesn't like this then you are happy to do shuttle mediation and ultimately court...

Justanothernameonthepage · 02/07/2017 12:25

Tell him all contact is to be arranged via e-mail/text and stop answering phonecalls. Inform him contact requires 48hrs notice.
If he threatens court then embrace it. They'll be on the side of the DC, not the parents.
Does he pay maintenance?

Justanothernameonthepage · 02/07/2017 12:27

And do some research - but look at it from your DC rights, not his.

ImperialBlether · 02/07/2017 12:34

Why are you moving nearer to him?

user1498221998 · 02/07/2017 12:47

Why are you moving nearer to him?

To be nearer work

OP posts:
QuiteLikely5 · 02/07/2017 14:26

Stop listening to him.

Give him an email address for contact.

Tell him today that you want a permanent consistent contact arrangement or you will see him in court.

And mean it.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread