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AIBU?

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Original poster

Can't convince him otherwise!

26 replies

Thisisnotreallymyname · 02/07/2017 01:02

Ok - DH and I have been considering buying a place in the sun.
We have both been researching ( me more than him as I have more time ) .
Anyway, tonight he asked me what I thought of the 3 places he has bookmarked on his IPad that he showed me earlier in the week.
Well - he might have saved them , but he has never shown them to me.
I said this tonight and he called me a liar, which really made me angry.
He then found them and showed them to me.
First time I've EVER seen them.
He is convinced he showed them to me earlier in the week and I have forgotten.
Erm - no way!
I'm am really angry as he called me a liar ( very unusual for him ).
But I've deffo never been shown them.
We are at an impasse.
Me: angry he's called me a liar.
Him: convinced he's shown them to me.
Both gone off to bed in a huff.
Neither of us will back down as we both genuinely believe we are right.
WWYD ?

OP posts:
OliviaBenson · 02/07/2017 01:03

Agree to disagree and move on?

MeanAger · 02/07/2017 01:03

Have you both been drinking? It's a really silly thing to get so angry about

Longdistance · 02/07/2017 01:18

He probably showed someone else, and forgot to show you.

Sleep on it.

Original poster
Thisisnotreallymyname · 02/07/2017 01:18

We've been to friends, and we were chatting about it on way home.
I've had 2 glasses of wine, he's had a beer.
No way related to drink.

OP posts:
scottishdiem · 02/07/2017 01:44

Unless winning the arguement is important to you both just ask to put it aside and look at the properties.

Is the word liar that big an issue? Does he see it as liar liar pants on fire and you see it as akin to perjury in court?

Seems a disproportionate reaction.

GuiltyPleasure · 02/07/2017 01:57

You've both taken disproportionate offence over something very trivial. Unless there's a massive back story you both need to get a grip & just look at the bloody properties tomorrow.
I'm thinking there's bigger issues in life than whether someone has shown their DP details of a holiday home

Vereesa · 02/07/2017 02:09

You are both being very immature. Gone to bed in a huff? Surely you two should've grown out of this once you both entered adulthood? Sometimes the mature thing to do is knowing when to bow out of an argument that has no point nor purpose.

MsHopey · 02/07/2017 02:31

Seems a very over the top reaction on both sides.
There's plenty of times I've thought I've said something to DH but was really just thinking it in my head. I did it last night, neither of us got huffy and shouted about it. Mistakes are made, move on.

Iwasjustabouttosaythat · 02/07/2017 02:34

Seriously? Give the phone back to your parents now. There's a good girl.

Ceto · 02/07/2017 03:06

Ask him exactly when and where he reckons he showed you.

Redglitter · 02/07/2017 03:10

Oh for goodness sake get a grip. Does it really matter.

squoosh · 02/07/2017 03:23

The spirits tell me you should buy a place in Cleethorpes.

You're welcome.

Lovestonap · 02/07/2017 03:26

This would worry me a little. Forgetfulness and uncharacteristically aggressive response? Is he quite well in other respects?
I don't think you need a grip, being called a liar is awful!

SomeOtherFuckers · 02/07/2017 04:03

Who cares? Let it go it's minor and stupid

flumpybear · 02/07/2017 04:10

He probably dreamed he told you .... I do that lol

londonrach · 02/07/2017 06:37

Ott. Why this more than a 2 second discussion. Grown up.

SavoyCabbage · 02/07/2017 06:51

If this was a soap, one of you would be hiding an illness which made you forgetful and angry. But who?

If it was Judge Rinder, you would go through the history on the ipad and find out who was right.

Bluntness100 · 02/07/2017 07:03

It's all a bit petty isn't it? what should normally be nothing more than a point of confusion to turn into an argument where two grown adults go into a " huff" is beyond ridiculous.

How big were the glasses of wine?

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 02/07/2017 07:06

I'd be pissed off if I was you.

HotelEuphoria · 02/07/2017 07:08

Nah would piss me off too. DH does this and I will say "when did you tell me?" Where were we? What time was it? What did I say?

When he can't remember I'll reply that he doesn't know because it wasn't actually me he told.

BlondeB83 · 02/07/2017 07:16

You are both being unreasonable for getting so worked up over something so petty. Buying a place in the sun might be a step too far for this relationship.

giantpurplepeopleeater · 02/07/2017 07:25

I'm going to go against the grain here and say YANBU.

For whatever reason, youe husband has massively overreacted here gotten very angry and called you a liar. Something I think most people would be upset over.

He could have just said 'oh well I'm sure I've shown you, but here they are' and handed you the i-pad.

While perhaps you also getting in a huff isn't the best way to handle it, its your husbands approach to this that gas been very OTT and uncalled for.

To be honest, I'd probably very calmly say to him today that clearly you are going to have to agree to disagree but that you are bewildered by his angry response and quite hurt that he resorted to calling you a liar.

If he kicks off again then I think you've got a bigger DH problem than just this and that there is probably a massive backstory.

WomblingThree · 02/07/2017 07:38

My DH does this all the time. He swears blind he told me or showed me something and I know he didn't. I just inwardly roll my eyes and laugh at him for being dozy. In the great scale of things, it's not important.

He absolutely shouldn't have called you a liar though. Are you both quite young, because I know 30 years ago I would have overreacted like you two have.

InfiniteSheldon · 02/07/2017 07:49

I agree with Giantpurple yanbu
You could have agreed to disagree or just said no you really didn't but he refused to either back down or brush it off and escalated the ussue by calling you a liar. The assumption on his part is that he cannot possibly be wrong therefore he is right so you are a liar and deliberately hiding the fact you had seen the properties. He's an arse and you should stand up for yourself Flowers

OhhBetty · 02/07/2017 08:36

You both sound a bit silly. You've pissed yourselves off Grin

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