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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take 14 month old for naice afternoon tea?

43 replies

Happycow · 01/07/2017 22:23

Just that really - it's my mums 60th coming up and we are trying to sort something nice to do on the day, probably in London. Afternoon tea at one of the good hotels (or oxo tower etc) would be perfect but I will have my 14month old with me who is obviously a messy eater and doesn't sit still for long once he has finished eating.
I'm obviously conscious of the potential impact on other diners but am also stuck for equivalent but child-friendly 'naice' things to do.
Wwyd?

OP posts:
Earlybird · 01/07/2017 22:26

I wouldn't. Can you not find a friend or other relative who could look after your child for the afternoon?

You won't enjoy yourself if your child is loud/messy, and you'll probably disturb others. Plus, you'll pay around £35 per person for afternoon tea at a posh hotel. For that price, you want to enjoy yourselves!

AgentProvocateur · 01/07/2017 22:26

Can you get a babysitter? I'm not an afternoon tea fan, but if I was, and I'd spent £100 on a special treat, I would rather that there wasn't a toddler running about. I wouldn't say anything to you, or complain (because I'm not a total cow) but I do think it would detract from the day. If you can't get a babysitter, could you go somewhere less "special" (aka expensive).

Original poster
Happycow · 01/07/2017 22:29

Thanks earlybird, that's what I'm thinking. If I'm paying that much (and the rest at some places!) I bloody well want to enjoy every mouthful!
We don't have anyone nearby (within 3hrs drive) that cold babysit but I think I'll see if nursery can take him last-minute.
If not I'll try and think of alternative stuff to do!

OP posts:
5OBalesofHay · 01/07/2017 22:29

Sounds like a nightmare all round. Why not do something nice and child friendly at home with her grandchild

Babbitywabbit · 01/07/2017 22:31

If he won't sit still after eating, Does that
Mean he'll be either running around or making a noise in protest? Because if that's likely then it's going to be very unfair on other customers. A classy afternoon tea in a posh hotel really isn't the place for a toddler.

GuiltyFeet · 01/07/2017 22:31

I am all for kids joining in with everyday activities where possible, but I really wouldn't recommend this. What would you do with him when he had finished eating? Let him wander about the tea room? I think that would be pretty anti-social and also dangerous, with waiting staff bringing hot tea and so on. The alternative is for you and your mum to rush to finish your tea, which would be a massive waste of money. Afternoon tea is ideally a leisurely, luxurious, elegant affair - none of those things fit with a 14 month old!

How about the London Eye, followed by a posh picnic in a hamper in one of the lovely parks? Or take a teenage relative along with you and bribe them to let your toddler run around the park for an hour while you and your mum enjoy afternoon tea?

viques · 01/07/2017 22:31

Can I suggest a place to go? Chelsea Physic garden is beautiful, they have a very nice (as in really nice) cafe where you can have lunch or tea and cakes, but it has a lot of space and lovely clean grass (no dogs!!!) where your baby could be allowed to roam. I think it would be a great place to celebrate a birthday without worrying about disturbing other people, and the baby could enjoy the day too. They sell lovely plants too so your mum could have a souvenir.

Original poster
Happycow · 01/07/2017 22:38

Thanks everyone, you have all confirmed my fears! DS isn't walking yet and while he is pretty good when we go out I know you're all right about it ending up -at best - being rushed and me worrying about the other diners.
I'll have a look at the Chelsea garden, that sounds lovely. A clean bit of lawn is surprising hard to come by in London but I know that would keep him happy for a while at least!

OP posts:
MyOtherNameIsTaken · 01/07/2017 22:39

Don't take your toddler to afternoon tea. I went to an afternoon tea in Betty's tearoom in York and there was a young child who wasn't happy (screaming fit to burst) and his parents didn't take him out so the genteel tea experience was shattered and it spoiled it for everyone in shrieking distance. The whole point of afternoon tea is that it's restful and calm.

Please get someone to look after your child!

Sugarcoma · 01/07/2017 23:03

There are kid-friendly afternoon teas in London. We went with friends a while back and their baby. Cant remember the name of the hotel but have a google.

Orangedaisy · 01/07/2017 23:49

I took DD to a few nice afternoon teas when she was around 1, including to a naice hotel. We asked in advance if we could have our tea in a side room, which we did, and didn't hang round when we had eaten. It all went swimmingly.

Coastalcommand · 02/07/2017 00:27

Posh picnic hamper from fortnum and mason or similar? Then the location of your choice?

ErrolTheDragon · 02/07/2017 00:41

We once had a very naice tea in Betty's in Harrogate when DD was a toddler... after a tiring day out she fell sound asleep laid on one of their bench type seats, leaving us (and the other customers) to enjoy our Fat Rascals in peace. Obviously, I remember this event because of its rarity, luck rather than judgement !Grin

citychick · 02/07/2017 00:46

hi op fortnums were great with ds when we went. that was quite a long time ago but they were very accommodating and we all had a lovely time . high chairs available etc. i took my parents for lunch.

also check Fulham Palace and gardens. they uave a naice cafe and lawns etc .

i wouldn't take a toddler into a posh hotel in afternoon tea unless they are kiddie friendly. too stressful for everyone.

hope u find somewhere lovely.

good luck 🍰☕

TequilaSunshine · 02/07/2017 00:48

Oooh, no I wouldn't, sorry. I have RTFT and seen that you've seen the light and have said you appreciate it's not a good idea, and I'm inclined to agree with you.
I have two small kids of my own. Admittedly, neither are toddler age now and haven't been for a few years, but I can tell you that no WAY would a lovely afternoon tea have been a good option for them (even for the more placid, easily amused ds2)
It'd be boring for them. They can hardly get down and run around anywhere, and waiters will be carrying hot pots of tea everywhere.
It's an adult thing rather than for the kids. Which will be apparent in the fact that there will be a proportion of people who have forked out approx £100 on the afternoon (depending on where they've gone)for a relaxed, formal, grown up get together and may well have left the kids at home with a sitter for their treat.
At that age they want Wacky Warehouse type outings - food but they can charge about in the ball pool as well [smile
Suck those type of outings up or find a sitter for the afternoon teas at that age. Smile

Notknownatthisaddress · 02/07/2017 00:51

YABU to say NAICE! HmmAngry

TequilaSunshine · 02/07/2017 00:57

YABU to say NAICE!

Confused Helpful answer there Grin

ErrolTheDragon · 02/07/2017 01:01

YABU to say NAICE!

Yabu to say that - 'naice' is officially-blessed MN terminology. I once won a mug with 'Naice Coffee' on it.

Beelzebop · 02/07/2017 01:11

Sounds a nightmare

MrsABrown72 · 02/07/2017 01:19

Posh picnic in park? Fizz, nice cake and sandwiches so Ds can run around?

toffeeboffin · 02/07/2017 01:40

As mentioned, picnic in the park.

Only way forward.

Took DS in a fancy cafe once at that age, he was covered in jam in about three seconds.

toffeeboffin · 02/07/2017 01:41

Fist bump @ Errol - fat rascals are the best

squoosh · 02/07/2017 01:49

I'm sure all the top afternoon tea places are very toddler accommodating......but they'll be a total buzz kill. Can you carb load in peace without the toddler having some kind of nappy emergency or needing to explore the entire surface area of the hotel? Hire a babysitter and stuff your cake hole in peace.

Groupie123 · 02/07/2017 06:28

Really depends on your DC. Took my nephew to the Ritz at a similar age, but he was mostly verbal and would listen to instructions so we could bribe him with the park afterwards.

Amanduh · 02/07/2017 06:31

I took my seven month old last week. Then again he is happy to sit quietly in a highchair as long as he's got something to occupy him. He was as good as gold. Maybe not if yours struggles to sit etc!