www.facebook.com/uokhunni/?hc_ref=NEWSFEED&fref=nf
Just had another post pop up from some twat looking for 'ten ladies who want to lose weight' before adding that she is a 'bossbabe' and to start her business just needed 'WiFi and a dream.'
The fuck is she on? First of all, what if nine people come forward to buy her horse piss capsules and slug jizz shakes? Or eleven? Or any number other than ten? Does the whole business model collapse inwards?
Also, what if you happen to live in an area where the rollout of broadband infrastructure has been somewhat lacking, meaning that the only feasible option for connectivity is a 3G or 4G connection? Will the mobile data bandwidth be able to cope with the constant motivational horseshit messages plastered over an image of a barefoot woman on a beach?
Furthermore, why the actual fucking fuck are you telling me that I can pay half the cost if I buy a course of shakes with a friend? I figured that one out for myself, and so did anyone else who doesn't have the IQ of a fucking McFlurry.
'Comment below with your weight loss goals and I will recommend a product for you.' OK hun that's great. I want to lose body fat and tone up / build lean mass to the extent where every trip to the beach at Southend ends up with thirteen unprovoked offers of oral underneath the pier. Now which combination of aloe vera and Dorito flavouring will help me to achieve this hun?
'Don't listen to the people who say that these products don't work.' Great advice. Why trust the words of someone who has already found out it's a pile of thundershite when you could base your decision on someone who is a gnat's cock away from owning your eternal soul.
'It's not a pyramid scheme.' Of course it isn't sweetheart, it's a fucking trapezium. It's actually a multi-level marketing scheme, where the level at the top is very, very small, and as you move down the levels get progressively wider and wider. You have an upline and a downline, whatever the fuck they are, and you get to meet them all at a big conference that makes your average Scientology meeting look tame.