Lonely

[Anonymouswithwine]

I'm married, have 2 wonderful kids, but I'm lonely! Only figured this out today. I love my DH but we r so busy we never talk anymore. He doesn't know me anymore. To b honest, not sure he ever has. Tried to talk to him tonight but that didn't work out. AIBU to feel lonely when I have 2 great children and a husband I love?

Take some time out, for yourself and for the two of you.

I think it's possible to feel lonely in any situation, especially if you feel you aren't being listened to or understood. I hope other posters come who can advise you on how to sort through how you're feeling, I'm not good at that myself! I didn't want you to feel lonely here!

Yanbu but it doesn't sound very loving if he hardly knows you, even before kids?

What would you like to do about it if you could?

How busy can you be that you don't have time to talk to someone who lives in your house?

Thank you all! Thanks SABeeTiger for stopping me feeling lonely on mumsnet! I was wondering if my lonely post would fade away with no replies! MrsMozart, I think you r right, I need some time to myself, by DH and I need time together. We never go out and when we r together we have so much to do we just don't get a chance to enjoy each other and really talk anymore. We have actually had a bit of a chat tonight now - I think things came to a head and he sensed something was up. The content of our chat wasn't really that interesting, but just talking was really nice, we both needed it. I think we r at the first point in marriage (7 years!) where we need to start making an effort and trying. We will be fine though. Thanks again everyone

I think being lonely, and not communicating with your dh are two individual issues.

You can have a great relationship with your dh and be lonely, and you can not be lonely and not communicate well with your dh.

2 separate issues with 2 separate solutions.

Women & men tend to reconnect in different ways. As long as you are both wise to this, you'll be fine

What age are your DC? I can relate to how you feel. My DC are older now and very independent. My DH is often busy at work and works some weekends so I am always busy running round picking the kids up/dropping them off but am not always doing stuff with them as they'll be with friends so I can feel on my own at times. I have tried recently making more time to see friends and chat to neighbours and family. I was also thinking about taking up yoga with a friend. Maybe think about some things you would like to do for yourself xxx

I think this is so common and very glad you chatted. Reach out to a friend or two also-sometimes a ten minute chat about nothing with an old friend really helps to make you feel connected with the world again xx

Sadly I can relate to this. My dh is just not very chatty. I am and I think all through our relationship & 11 year marriage I've 'made conversation'. But lately I've got fed up with that and thought I'd see what would happen if I didn't initiate conversation - the result was we literally didn't say a word to each other for a whole weekend, and he didn't think there was anything wrong with this!! I had been feeling there was this great tension and loaded silence between us - he didn't have a clue and thought everything was ticketyboo it turns out.
I eventually broached it with him & talking about it with (to, really) him did make me feel a tiny bit better.

But....I've just come to the realisation that he's very self absorbed. Not outward looking at all. And it's a bit sad for me & our 3 D.C.'s.