Lonely

10 replies

Anonymouswithwine · 01/07/2017 20:37

I'm married, have 2 wonderful kids, but I'm lonely! Only figured this out today. I love my DH but we r so busy we never talk anymore. He doesn't know me anymore. To b honest, not sure he ever has. Tried to talk to him tonight but that didn't work out. AIBU to feel lonely when I have 2 great children and a husband I love?

OP posts:

MrsMozart · 01/07/2017 20:57

Take some time out, for yourself and for the two of you.

SABeeTiger · 01/07/2017 21:01

I think it's possible to feel lonely in any situation, especially if you feel you aren't being listened to or understood. I hope other posters come who can advise you on how to sort through how you're feeling, I'm not good at that myself! I didn't want you to feel lonely here!

DontstepontheMomeRaths · 01/07/2017 21:01

Yanbu but it doesn't sound very loving if he hardly knows you, even before kids?

What would you like to do about it if you could?

AndTakeYourHorseWithYou · 01/07/2017 21:07

How busy can you be that you don't have time to talk to someone who lives in your house?

Original poster

Anonymouswithwine · 01/07/2017 22:10

Thank you all! Thanks SABeeTiger for stopping me feeling lonely on mumsnet! I was wondering if my lonely post would fade away with no replies! MrsMozart, I think you r right, I need some time to myself, by DH and I need time together. We never go out and when we r together we have so much to do we just don't get a chance to enjoy each other and really talk anymore. We have actually had a bit of a chat tonight now - I think things came to a head and he sensed something was up. The content of our chat wasn't really that interesting, but just talking was really nice, we both needed it. I think we r at the first point in marriage (7 years!) where we need to start making an effort and trying. We will be fine though. Thanks again everyone

OP posts:

BackforGood · 01/07/2017 22:21

I think being lonely, and not communicating with your dh are two individual issues.

You can have a great relationship with your dh and be lonely, and you can not be lonely and not communicate well with your dh.

2 separate issues with 2 separate solutions.

TheNaze73 · 01/07/2017 22:32

Women & men tend to reconnect in different ways. As long as you are both wise to this, you'll be fine

mumontherun14 · 01/07/2017 22:50

What age are your DC? I can relate to how you feel. My DC are older now and very independent. My DH is often busy at work and works some weekends so I am always busy running round picking the kids up/dropping them off but am not always doing stuff with them as they'll be with friends so I can feel on my own at times. I have tried recently making more time to see friends and chat to neighbours and family. I was also thinking about taking up yoga with a friend. Maybe think about some things you would like to do for yourself xxx

Bosabosa · 02/07/2017 01:11

I think this is so common and very glad you chatted. Reach out to a friend or two also-sometimes a ten minute chat about nothing with an old friend really helps to make you feel connected with the world again xx

tankerdale · 02/07/2017 06:55

Sadly I can relate to this. My dh is just not very chatty. I am and I think all through our relationship & 11 year marriage I've 'made conversation'. But lately I've got fed up with that and thought I'd see what would happen if I didn't initiate conversation - the result was we literally didn't say a word to each other for a whole weekend, and he didn't think there was anything wrong with this!! I had been feeling there was this great tension and loaded silence between us - he didn't have a clue and thought everything was ticketyboo it turns out.
I eventually broached it with him & talking about it with (to, really) him did make me feel a tiny bit better.

But....I've just come to the realisation that he's very self absorbed. Not outward looking at all. And it's a bit sad for me & our 3 D.C.'s.

Flip