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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to take it no response means not coming?

16 replies

Imabadmummy · 01/07/2017 19:51

Yes, it's a party post!
I sent out invites to my sons 6th birthday party and less than half the kids have replied.

We invited the while class (24). The invited went out just short of 5 weeks before the party.
The party is in 2 weeks.

I have checked with my son that they got handed out (teacher did it at the end of the day) and no one had put them in their drawer.
I asked him to talk to his friends about it.

Why don't people just text yes or no?
I will have to start pestering parents at drop off/pick up but I don't go every day so could miss some (who go to after school clubs/child minders).

Did I send the invites too early?
Do I cater for everyone who doesn't reply just incase they come? (Party bags)

AIBU to expect a parent to get an invite and be able to say when they see the date - yes we have plans so no thet can't go or no we have no plans and will go to the party?
A couple of parents I see regularly on a morning and said oh yes X can come, thanks for the invite, which I'm cool with bit if you don't wanna talk to me just text!
My number is the rsvp and must be right as a few have text me!

If either of my kids get invites I rsvp within 24 hours.
I hate not being able to organise!

AIBU to base on no reply means they are not coming? And how late do I wait? Day before the party?

OP posts:
Justhadmyhaircut · 01/07/2017 19:53

Could you print reminder slips and ask teacher to hand them out?
5 weeks is too much notice for me and I probably would forget to text back!!

DonaldStott · 01/07/2017 19:56

5 weeks is a long time. Do u have a whatsapp group/fb group? I would just send out a msg saying dear all, thanks to those who have replied, just so I know catering wise, can you let me know if your childrw.children Will be coming, by x date thanks.

dementedpixie · 01/07/2017 19:57

5 weeks is too much and you still have 2 weeks to get replies

AndTakeYourHorseWithYou · 01/07/2017 19:59

Did I send the invites too early?

Yes. Far too early. I would have stuck it on the fridge with the idea of replying nearer the time, and then forgotten all about it. And you still are 2 weeks away from it!

GreenHillsOfHome · 01/07/2017 19:59

It's shit but some people just don't RSVP and still turn up.

Party-bag wise, I count non-responders as a yes. I always have too many but I'd rather that than risk not having one for a child...and it's not their fault their parent didn't RSVP.

Original poster
Imabadmummy · 01/07/2017 20:01

Damn. I thought it would be better to give more notice as it's the last week of term for us and a lot of people will go on hols etc.

There's a general school Facebook group. Suppose I could pop a message on there.

Loks like I will have to sit it out then.

OP posts:
NicolaMarlowsMerlin · 01/07/2017 20:06

It's grim isn't it? For ds's last party I said on the invites - I will assume you ARE coming unless I hear differently from you. Then I sent an email out saying the same thing (we have email class lists) about 10 days before the party. That's as much as I can do!

NoFucksImAQueen · 01/07/2017 20:08

I agree with you but we had a party today and 5 children who didn't rsvp showed up plus some extra siblings. We also had rsvp texts this morning and yesterday night.
Parties are stressful

witsender · 01/07/2017 20:20

How is it too far in advance? Either you're free or you're not. Get invite, check diary, say yes or no, write in diary. Takes all of 30seconds. Unless people mean they wait to see what else comes up? Which is just a bit rude.

Original poster
Imabadmummy · 01/07/2017 20:22

I was hoping as he will remember this party well, I can get away with having a class one this year and in future say let's do something smaller and more personal with just 1 or 2 friends or family.

I've been dreading the time either boy said they wanted a birthday party that wasn't just family.

OP posts:
Original poster
Imabadmummy · 01/07/2017 20:23

Thank you witsender, that was what I had initially thought.

OP posts:
stella23 · 01/07/2017 20:25

No I don't think it's too early , I sent ds's out 5 weeks before and someone had already got in first.

Borangeisthenneworange · 01/07/2017 20:36

If I hadn't replied yes I wouldn't go. I reply to every invite I see but sometimes I don't see them. DS left one in his tray until AFTER the party last week Hmm

AndTakeYourHorseWithYou · 01/07/2017 20:40

How is it too far in advance? Either you're free or you're not. Get invite, check diary, say yes or no, write in diary

How would I know if I'm free in 5 weeks or not? You understand that other people have lives that don't run exactly as yours, yes? If you give me a date in 5 weeks, I don't know yet if I am working, if DH is working, what times we may be working, or where the children are going to be.

For many people it is far too early.

AndTakeYourHorseWithYou · 01/07/2017 20:40

Neither do we all have a diary Hmm

TeenAndTween · 01/07/2017 20:51

I tended to invite around 2.5 weeks in advance, and ask for replies by a week before. I think 5 weeks is too long, it's almost half a term after all.

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