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To be pissued off that he scoffed at my hard work & is upset at my temper

6 replies

DermotTheSprog · 01/07/2017 19:05

I realise this is petty in the wider scheme of things but I am still annoyed hours later and so is he so I think I need a wider perspective.

This morning dh went for a run (background: he tends towards depression and I think the longer the run the less 'up' he is feeling. It was a long run). When he got back I had just spent an hour scrubbing our ridiculous kitchen floor which needs to be scrubbed cinderella-style on hands and knees to really get it clean (yes IWBU on insisting on that flooring but where we're you all then?!) And had hurt my shoulder so was sitting down feeling a bit sorry like a martyr for myself. I said to dh "I've just spent an hour scrubbing the floor" (we need to have it re-done and he says he will do it but it's been 8 years and we're still waiting) he looked at it up and down and scoffed and said "no you didn't. Do you need me to do it properly?" I snapped. I said something like yes I did do it and don't be so rude, of course I did it LOOK AT IT (there were capitals involved).
Anyway it is now 6 hours later and we are still shirty with each other. It is all about him: how mean I am to him, how I yell at him and ruin his life (that is, obviously, open to debate), how I have ruined his day.
I am loathe to present the olive branch because I feel I was in the right to snap and he has form for turning on me if something else in his life is going awry. Eg he has a difficult relationship with his ex and if she makes a demand he can't fulfill he will take it out on me unreasonably rather than say no to her. Also relevant is that we are in marriage counselling for that reason but recently the counsellor has decided he needs sessions on his own more than we do together, or so he has told me.
Anyway, with all that background (sorry tis long) do I have to be the one to suck it up and say sorry I snapped for scrubbing the fucking floor and listening to your ingratitude? Confused

OP posts:

alltouchedout · 01/07/2017 19:07

Do you feel sorry (I wouldn't)? Don't apologise if you don't mean it.
He sounds like massively hard work. Is he worth it?


vikingprincess81 · 01/07/2017 19:16

He sounds exhausting. And before I get yelled at, yes I caught the part about the depression, I still think he sounds exhausting. And no, YANBU


Justhadmyhaircut · 01/07/2017 19:19

My exh also used depression as justification to be a twat.
Don't put up with that crap. .


PickAChew · 01/07/2017 19:24

I don't blame you for being snippy with him for telling you off for not cleaning something to his exact standards. It's your home, too, you're not the paid help and, even if you were, he was still fucking rude.

The correct response to this sort of criticism, though, is ok, you do it better, then, dickwad


Starlighter · 01/07/2017 19:24

I'd be pissed off to, that's so rude and his comment totally undermines and disrespects you.

I'd be waiting for an apology from him!


DermotTheSprog · 01/07/2017 20:01

He apologised. Thanks to your views (reminding me that I am not losing my marbles) I was able to say I accept your apology but your response was really rude. I think without AIBU I'd have ended up believing IWBU. Muchos Gracias Amigos!

OP posts:
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