To buy a dress for my brothers wedding in the same colour that my Mum might wear?

[Rollergirl1]

Firstly can I just say that I really don't want to upset my Mum so if she is really bothered then I will just have to take it back.

But just wondered what the etiquette is? I know that it's usually the done thing for the mother of the bride and mother of the groom to decide on different colours. But is it a given that I shouldn't wear the same colour as my Mum (the mother of the groom)? It's blue by the way.

My Mum hasn't decided on what she's wearing yet, or even the actual colour that she's going for but blue is one of the colours that she thinks she might wear.

The wedding is mid September so although still quite a lot of time I don't want to be leaving it too much longer to get my outfit sorted and neither should my Mum.

As I said I will take it back if she wants me to. It doesn't help that managed to get the dress in the sale and was more than half price off.

WWYD?

I would get the dress and not worry.

If you have already bought the dress then wear it. If your mum is worried about wearing the same colour she can choose a different one, if she hasn't chosen yet

Sorry forgot to mention I've actually bought it and sent her a text with a picture of it. She replied back saying it was nice but it's blue with a sad face. So she obviously is bothered.

Of course it's fine! Even if your Mum chooses blue there are so many different shades of it! Clothes for wedding guests are becoming a ridiculous minefield.

Just wear it. She should have made her mind her and told you what colour she was wearing if she was really worried about it. She has plenty of other colours to choose from.

Sorry but I hate all the stuffiness surrounding weddings and outfits and worry about what's customary etc I got married last year and couldn't give a stuff as long as people were enjoying themselves. My Mom was getting offended on my behalf and some really trivial outfit related stuff and I had to put her (politely) in her place. Wear the outfit.

It does not matter. At all. And if someone got in a strop about the colour of my dress, I would think they were a fucking lunatic.

People can't own colours at weddings or any event.
I'd generally avoid the bridesmaids colours if I knew them but that's about it.

Blue isn't a single colour. There are many shades of blue. Anyone who gets about somebody wearing a shade of blue needs to give their head a wobble in my opinion.
Even if they were similar shades, the outfit style between younger wedding guest/family member and mother of the groom would be different.

Oh FGS. Sad face? Ridiculous. Wear it. If she wants to wear blue, there's nothing stopping her, and if she can't bear to look too similar to you, she can wear a different shade. Or wear a different colour. Honestly, no one else will notice, don't give it another thought, and have a lovely time at the wedding.

Let your mum have her day, OP. Don't wear something similar in any way.

She can't put dibs on a whole range of colours that she might wear. It's impractical and a touch mad.

I hate all this ridiculous nonsense surrounding wedding clothes. I literally wouldn't give a shit what someone wore to my wedding unless someone turned up in an actual wedding dress. And then I'd probably just laugh - it's still not their wedding!

OP - it's up to you but I'd wear my dress and get on with it. If you feel really bad and want to change it for an easy life then I'd understand that but you shouldn't feel pressured into it.

She hasn't even got her dress yet! Bit passive aggressive of her to send a sad face

As she hasn't bought a dress yet, I think she is cheeky complaining to you that you have bought one in blue. If it matters her that much, she can buy a dress in one of the other colours she likes.

Nah, you can't just reserve the whole range of shades which come under the heading of "blue" as a possible option. Tough cheese mum, IMO

What were her other colour options?

In theory, yes, absolutely. In practice if it's actually upsetting her, then that might be difficult. Can you talk to her directly rather than texts and see how strongly she feels? It does depend also on how close the shades are - navy and sky-blue, almost different colours; two almost identical shades of baby blue, well...

If it helps persuade her, my MIL has the "family" photos from all her children's weddings on her wall, so bride, groom, parents and the large number of siblings plus partners in each. There is one where the women are almost all wearing green in one form or another, either as solid blocks or in a print. Not done deliberately or anything but that photo is actually far more pleasing to the eye than some of the group ones from other weddings where there is a real mix of (clashing) colours. So maybe persuade your mother that having complimentary shades is a good thing?

If she really doesn't back down, is genuinely upset and isn't normally an unreasonable drama queen, I probably would give in to her on this occasion. But only after a talk, lots of shopping trips to find her something she likes etc.

SIL's mum, my mum and me all wore turqoise to my brother's wedding. It wasn't a problem at all. We were all in different shades of turquoise. The wedding photos looked very coordinated, bride in cream, bridesmaids in navy and both mums and me in turquoise.

Your mum sent a sad face? She needs to grow up! Of course there should be no issue with wearing the same colour ffs.