AIBU in suggesting joining my wedding onto my parents 50th Wedding Anniversary?

[staveleymum]

I have been with DP for 15 years and have 2 DC's (under 10). We've been engaged forever and never really been interested in making it official - its on the to do list!

Anyway my parents are celebrating their 50th anniversary next year and planning an event at the hotel where they had their wedding reception. It's not local to me but with be a lovely event which we wouldnt miss.

Now I know my parents would love to see us married and obviously they are not getting any younger. We dont have lots of spare cash (and if I did I'd have a lot of things I'd spend it on before a lavish wedding).

Anyway I was idly thinking about a special gift for them and the idea of having a small wedding at the same venue perhaps the day after their celebrations (and follow up with a party at home soon after).

I haven't broached this with my parents yet as I couldn't decide if this is stealing their limelight and detracting from their special day or is a lovely thing. Can I ask your opinion please?

You would be taking over their special day. Organise your own wedding separately. They don't have to cost a fortune.

I think it would be lovely. Some people love a celebration and its NOT about limelight. Only you know you family, float the idea, if it sinks we'll you have your answer.

Ask your parents and go by what they say but i agree its stealing their special time. If a 47th weeding anniversary no problem...its just a 50th is very special. You have had some time with dp to arrange something.

When I said next year, I meant their 51st wedding anniversary -

let them have their 50th as a celebration of when a guy and a gal fell in love and grew old together...

My grandparents (parents divorced) would have loved this. They had an amazing marriage that I really respect and aspire to. Unfortunately my grandad passed away earlier in the year and I wish he could be around to see me get married to my partner of 8 years. If this is how you feel about your parents' marriage, tell them this and that you hope it will bring you luck to marry on the date they achieve such an amazing milestone!

Difficult one. Only you know how your parents would genuinely feel.

I am slightly leaning towards agreeing with the people saying it smacks a bit of stealing the limelight. But I don't honestly think you are doing it to be a bitch or because you are jealous of their celebration.

VERY tricky. Could you mention it to a close family member or friend who could maybe suggest the idea to your parents, in passing... Hopefully they will be able to gauge how they feel.

My mum actually told me she'd been hoping we would do just this! We didn't though....

It might put your parents in an awkward position if they'd rather keep the occasions separate, but don't feel they can say that to you as it could look churlish.

Totally stealing their limelight and presumably you gegging in on their hotel booking and party will save you money/ensure you get a good discount from the hotel, it's all a bit cheapskate.

You've had 15 years to get married and its soooo important all of a sudden that you simply must do it at their 50th anniversary celebration - nah, pick and pay for your own date.

I think it's a lovely idea. But as everyone has said, it depends on the family. My parents would love something like this as they don't care about being in "the limelight", and neither do I.

Sorry but I don't think it's appropriate! 50 years is amazing and your parents should get more than a day if they wish, especially if people are travelling and staying over. As their 50th is a party I think you should be offering to help them celebrate something together (afternoon tea perhaps) as a gift or organising an immediate family brunch or lunch for the next day if they wish. Instead you suddenly want to use their party venue and the next day to have a wedding you and your DP have never prioritised!?