AIBU to be hurt that we have been left out of their holiday plans?

[rainbowsandsunshine]

My Mum and Dad have booked a week away to their caravan in the summer holidays. The caravan is on a park where they have statics (which is what my parents have), caravans to rent and tent pitches.

I have 2 brothers (16 & 24), the 16 year old lives at home, he is going with them and taking one of his friends too. My Mum has also invited my other brother and his girlfriend and their 2 children (1 & 3). I have a DD (5), we have not been invited.

I went to my Mums today with my dd for a few hours and my niece and nephew were there, she kept talking to them both about the holiday, building sandcastles, swimming in the sea, buying them a boat etc etc.

So am I being unreasonable to be a little hurt that we didn't get an invite but even more hurt that she happily discussed their plans infront of my dd?

Will happily except it if I am being overly sensitive, I am 24 weeks pregnant so its a possibility, but I would really appreciate your thoughts on this!

I was going to suggest that you book a seperate caravan on the site and just tell your DM that your going as well.

I definetly think its because you are pregnant. I would be a little hurt but would ask. I bet that is why she hasnt asked you.

Try to look on the bright side. Family holidays can be overrated. Sounds like a good idea but in reality...?
If it was my family I would sign up for this if you paid me so obviously my bias is a bit skewed.
Book yourself a nice treat instead? And don't be afraid to honestly describe your feelings to them.

It could be because you're pregnant but I'd still expect an acknowledgment from her if so - 'oh op, we didn't think you'd want to be so far away from home' sort of thing.

I would have a quiet chat. Take it from there. Hope it goes ok op X

So your brother isn't staying with them at their expense then? He probably just invited himself. So should you. Just ring your mum up and say you've been looking up caravan prices, and are considered joining them. Her reaction will tell you what you need to know.

I wouldn't go round for a little chat about feeling left out personally. It'll just lay a guilt trip on her over something that doesn't need to be a big deal. Be breezy and cheerful. You catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

I think I will have to ask her, will only get on my nerves otherwise.

That's the obvious answer spirit! Hopefully all will be resolved and you'll have a nice family holiday

YABU

I didn't ask to go to, as I don't want to be invited because I've mentioned it

Well there you go then. If I had wanted to go on holiday with my parents when they were alove, I'd have gone "Mum, where / when are you going away this year? Do you fancy going together? Well, same site, same week, different caravans?"

Probably as your brother did.
How bizarre that people don't..... er...... talk to their parents

The talking about it in front of you makes me feel like she wants you to ask them, it's the kind of silly thing my mum would do because she thinks I'm far too independent to want to go on holiday with ol' mum and dad (although in my case she's right). Although with asking you to water the plants, maybe not...

In a lot of families, asking such a direct question (with the implication of hurt feelings on behalf of the asker) would cause offence and dramatic over-reaction from the parents, leading the child (op in this case) to rue the day they ever questioned the status quo.

If this possibility has never occured to you other posters, then I suggest you give thanks for your emotionally well-adjusted families!

Good lucl op.

Or even luck

I decided against asking, as some posters have said the holiday wouldn't be very relaxing anyway and probably not something I'd enjoy at 29 weeks pregnant. Tbh I could do without the confrontation it would cause too, my Mum can be very dramatic and I'd soon be reliable for making her feel awful and putting a downer on her holiday!

In which case, Contessa, why would you want to spend a week of your precious holiday with them ?
I think it is implied that you would want to spend a week with them, for the thread to have been started. Otherwise, you wouldn't be bothered, would you.

Backforgood Because for some people an overdramatic family is the only family they've got (or know), and they love them and want to spend time with them even though they know it's going to be challenging occasionally. There are families the world over saying variants of 'Oh don't mind Mum/Dad, you know what they're like' every minute of every day.

Even if your family are less than ideal, you can still be hurt if they seem to deliberately exclude you.