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AIBU?

AIBU to put 3 year old DS in ballet?

27 replies

ChangingThatUsername17 · 01/07/2017 14:47

My son is 3 and does swimming lessons. I work part-time, so have a couple of free days. I'd like to put him in 1 structured class (I still get in with him for the swimming - it changes when he is 4) and I figured ballet would be good. It seems like a great sport.

DH isn't against anyone doing ballet and would 100% support him if he chose that, but is telling me that I should pick something that's more 'safe' (due to him not having a preference) so there's no potential for teasing, judging, him feeling insecure, etc.

I've explained that he's little and can change whenever he has a preference and that it's a good sport for his age. He thinks it's silly to do it to him when he could do something like gymnastics.

Who is right?

OP posts:
GraceGrape · 01/07/2017 14:51

Of course YANBU. There are two boys in my 7yo's ballet class.

LeannePerrins · 01/07/2017 14:51

Take him to a few classes (most offer a free trial class) and then let him choose.

Of course YWNBU to take him to ballet. Ballet dancers are incredible athletes.

RedHelenB · 01/07/2017 14:53

Why ballet though if he hasn't asked to go?

Scrumpernickel · 01/07/2017 14:55

My cousin is a professional ballet dancer and had never been teased or bullied for this as far as I'm aware!

BertrandRussell · 01/07/2017 14:55

Why are you choosing ballet?

BertrandRussell · 01/07/2017 14:57

But I would let him have a go at all of them, then choose. Guided by you if you are particularly impressed by one of the teachers, or like the look of the other parents at one.

ChangingThatUsername17 · 01/07/2017 15:00

Because he hasn't asked to go to any classes - he's 3. He didn't ask to go swimming, but he loves it and it's good for him.

Ballet because I think it's one of the best sports for his age group, IMO.

OP posts:
namechangefox · 01/07/2017 15:01

Ballet is great for kids. Do it!

Socksey · 01/07/2017 15:03

My DS8 is one of 3 boys in his ballet class.... he loves it.... asked for ballet at 5 because he wanted to be an athlete.. ..

MissionItsPossible · 01/07/2017 15:17

I'm not sure. If my mother had made me go to ballet at 3 I would have not enjoyed the ridicule that would have gone with it in the subsequent years.

drspouse · 01/07/2017 15:21

My DS who's 5 goes dancing (we started with parent and toddler, we then tried ballet and street dance and he's currently quite enjoying Modern. I think he's more of a natural street dancer but the class for that is mainly much older children). Nobody has batted an eyelid much less teased him. Why would people assume a child would be teased? All that says to me is they are planning to tease any child they come across who does this.

Tinuviel · 01/07/2017 15:23

Ballet is a lovely activity to do. DS1 started ballet at 3; DS2 started at about 4. They have both really enjoyed it over the years. DS1 gave up last year when he was 18; DS2 is still going strong at 17 and is working towards Grade 7. They both regard it as a hobby - have no desire to take it up as a career but get a lot of pleasure out of it. There are 3 or 4 younger boys at the dance school and they all seem to really enjoy it as well.

Mission, they have not been ridiculed (although don't tend to discuss it with their peers) and their balance and coordination have improved through doing it (which as DS1 is probably dyspraxic was a huge help!)

FizzyGreenWater · 01/07/2017 15:26

What on earth? How weird. One of mine did ballet for a couple of years from that age: there were a good mix of genders in the class.

Post about five, there was a massive drop out rate which included almost all the boys and over 60-70% of the girls.

Ballet is great at that age: music and movement, basically.

FizzyGreenWater · 01/07/2017 15:29

I'm not sure. If my mother had made me go to ballet at 3 I would have not enjoyed the ridicule that would have gone with it in the subsequent years

Mission it's pretty normal for small children of both genders to go to ballet classes. My eldest is 8 and at least 7 of the boys in the class (as I recall) went to the same ballet classes for at least a couple of years - same for swimming, rugby, gymnastics. I can't recall ever hearing any of them being teased for having done any of those activities Confused

Dewey595 · 01/07/2017 15:35

Ballet is great for boys because as well as becoming strong and athletic it really helps them to socialise with girls and know how to interact with them. Completely different from the interaction they get at school. My DS is very socially confident because of doing ballet from 2.5. It's been fantastic for teaching him musicality and giving him an outlet for his energy and emotions. Boys don't always get teased either.

Urubu · 01/07/2017 15:35

My DS3 has been doing ballet with his twin sister for a year now and loves it, he is the only boy in the class but it doesn't bother him at all.
A perk if being the only boy is that quite often they chose one boy and one girl to "lead" so he is always chosen - I'm guessing the teacher wants him to feel special

RedHelenB · 01/07/2017 15:36

All the activities my children (apart from swimming which I made them do until they were safe in water and could do personal survival) did they asked to do. Dd asked for ballet at age 3.

PotatoPrint · 01/07/2017 15:37

I'd do gymnastics as it's the foundation for so much (including dance if he wants to dance later).

2littlemoos · 01/07/2017 15:39

Baby Ballet is good. It is a franchise and you can purchase boys clothing if you wish. At the end of each class the children dance with twinkle bear but they have a boy bear too.

DD loves it and it's great for encouraging the DC to wait their turn, to have the confidence to dance/jump toward the teacher on their own etc.

I think we had a block of 3 trial sessions for a small price so worth a try I'd say.

MissionItsPossible · 01/07/2017 15:42

Maybe it's from my own experience as being bullied in infant and at the start of junior school that's clouded my experience. I know that if they found out I did ballet (if I did) it would definitely not have made things easier to say the least! If I had a boy and if I was a parent I wouldn't enroll him in ballet unless he asked me to.

BertrandRussell · 01/07/2017 15:47

I'm not convinced about ballet being the best exercise at this age for either boys or girls, so I probably wouldn't choose it for a child who hadn't specifically asked to do it. Some ballet for littles classes are excellent, but a lot have a bit too much "good toes naughty toes" stuff, and dull if you don'love ballet. I'd probably go for gymnastics. More running and tumbling about. Or one of "freer"dance styles, like street or modern. Or [awaits brickbats] a good toddler football class.

Gizlotsmum · 01/07/2017 15:47

Do it. You can always change it later. My DS loves ballet and tap. He also does swimming and rugby and wants to start karate.

Dewey595 · 01/07/2017 15:49

PotatoPrint gymnastics and ballet develop different muscle groups and technique so you can't easily change from one to the other. If OP wants him to do ballet then it's best he starts off with ballet.

BarbarianMum · 01/07/2017 15:52

Ds2 has done ballet since age 4 (now 9). There is a fair amount of hassle that goes with it - not so much from his peers but from their parents. He persists because he likes it (nether dh or I have ever danced so this is something that is very much him).

I think it would be great to let him try but don't be too upsets if he drops it due to peer pressure in a year or two. And if he lives it, you'll need to grow a hide like a rhino.

The other thing to remember is that there are many forms of dance out there. Ds also takes tap and street and is better at both of them than ballet. They also attract less derision.

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