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AIBU?

To tell my Co-worker to shut the hell up!

31 replies

Dandelioninthewind · 01/07/2017 12:40

I work in a small office and just like to get on with my job...I don't mind people talking, having a laugh etc and I will join in on the odd conversation but there's one colleague who just will not shut up. I sit opposite her and recently I just feel complete rage as she just will not stop talking...when on the phone to clients I can just hear her and not the client...clients have commented saying "o wow that persons a chatterbox" yesterday I had someone say "wow does she stop for breath"...if the room has gone quiet she will break up the silence by doing a big yawn or she'll make a loud noise and say that's better at the top of her voice or announce what she's doing. I've been making mistakes as I just can't concentrate because the shrill of her voice goes through me and yesterday she stunk the office out with her fish (mackerel) and egg lunch...clients complained of the smell which smelt like raw sewage!!

I've approached my manager but she just laughs it off and says that's just her...I'm honestly thinking to leave my job as it's really getting to me...I've politely spoken to her and asked her to just quiet down a bit especially when I'm on the phone...there's no windows where I am so can't even get fresh air/daylight to escape. I can see others are getting annoyed and do this Hmm at her a lot but no one actually says anything so AIBU to throttle her? In all seriousness any advice is useful even if it is to just leave my job...is there a way to get through to people like this without being a drama...she is very much is into drama and we have to hear about it every Monday morning.

OP posts:
AndTakeYourHorseWithYou · 01/07/2017 12:42

Speak to your manager again but much more forcefully.

MissionItsPossible · 01/07/2017 12:43

If the others are getting annoyed with her, complain collectively to your manager. She won't laugh it off when she sees potentially losing the entire work force bar the annoying gobshite

Dandelioninthewind · 01/07/2017 12:55

She is very good friends with the manager and unfortunately she is pretty much allowed to get away with anything i.e. Turning up late, listening to music at her desk through earphones, swears loudly, cackles extra loud with others, has arguments down the phone with her ex but NOTHING gets said...it got so much the other day I had to go for a walk...I'm sat here at kitchen table looking through job section at the mo and thinking this is an option as I can't face Monday!

OP posts:
Dandelioninthewind · 01/07/2017 12:56

Ps the others won't say anything they bitch about it when she's not they're and the managers not there...but when she is they just pull this face Hmm feeling so frustrated.

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Cornettoninja · 01/07/2017 12:59

Friends with the manager plus everything else you've said makes me think you need to leave. If she was collectively annoying everyone and there was a culture of everyone being to polite I'd say give her both barrels (professionally). But as it is recognise it as a battle you can't win and walk away before you spontaneously combust.

IloveBanff · 01/07/2017 13:00

"if the room has gone quiet she will break up the silence by doing a big yawn"

I would have killed her for that alone. I have a bit of a "thing" about yawns. She sounds unbearable. How infuriating that she's well in with the manager, but I think you have no choice than to collectively insist something is done about this awful woman.

AndTakeYourHorseWithYou · 01/07/2017 13:03

Go over the managers head to whoever is above them.

scottishdiem · 01/07/2017 13:04

There was a thread the other week about the opposite. A woman getting stressed that her office colleague didn't talk much at all.

Anyway, try a passive aggressive approach. When she gets too much just use an airhorn to silence her and make her realise how annoying she is.

Or just give her both barrels and tell her everything that you have written here. Some people need pushed over the edge before they realise how they are affecting their colleagues.

Redsippycup · 01/07/2017 13:08

If you can't approach manager can you go to HR? Especially if it's affecting clients.

Collective complaint would be better again but it sounds like that's unlikely.

What would happen if you said something in front of everyone? Like 'Daphne I've asked you before to tone it down a bit - I couldn't hear a thing that poor man / woman was saying! Please can you not be so loud?'

Or could you stage an intervention? Grin

happypoobum · 01/07/2017 13:14

Surely if your customers can hear here and she is swearing at her ex, your employer would do something about that? Agree with PP go over managers head or to HR and explain the situation.

If that doesn't work you will have to get another job but make it clear why you are leaving.

I love the idea of the airhorn though - do that every five minutes once you have given your notice in Grin

DoubleHelix79 · 01/07/2017 13:16

Can you put on enormous, noise canceling headphones and play soothing music all day? Alternatively a speaker playing white noise in the office might help Wink

rolopolovolo · 01/07/2017 13:26

Just use earplugs

littlebird7 · 01/07/2017 13:26

Can you get your desk moved as far away as possible? Listen to music with headphones on and do not give her the time of day.

Alternatively can you simply pull her up every time she is like this, embarrass her into stopping? Politely say she needs to keep her voice down you are working etc...I couldn't work in those conditions either, and she is probably annoying other people far more than they are letting on. Attention seeking is boring..don't leave your job though she isn't worth it, and there a the office clown in every office I have ever worked in.

SafeToCross · 01/07/2017 13:30

Can you request a headset for the phone, so at least you can hear the customers better?

YouMakeMeFeelLikeDancing · 01/07/2017 13:33

Just use earplugs

That would make a phone conversation a tad difficult...

IloveBanff · 01/07/2017 13:34

"Just use earplugs" "Can you put on enormous, noise canceling headphones and play soothing music all day?"

The OP has said she has to talk to clients on the phone, who hear this woman in the background, so how are either of those suggestions feasible? Hmm

Slimthistime · 01/07/2017 13:37

I understand why you'd want to leave
However, once on my career, a loud obnoxious person who was mates with a manager got dealt with due to sheer volume of complaints. Can everyone complain individually?

Our other wining tactic was one particular day we thought we'd all be as loud as her. Manager told whole office to quieten down. Staff member was asked to tone it down about a week later. Took a couple of attempts though.

BerylStreep · 01/07/2017 13:39

If you have already raised it with your manager verbally, and she hasn't done anything, then perhaps follow it up in writing? Explain that clients are commenting on it and it portrays the company on a negative light. Cc your manager's manager too.

Piffpaffpoff · 01/07/2017 13:41

Is it that she is loud or that it is constant (or both!)?

If it's the former, I would start asking her to pipe down while on the phone - actually putting the client on hold and then telling her they have complained about the background noise and could she please lower her volume.

If it's the latter then it's new job time I think.

RaspberryOverloadsOnIcepops · 01/07/2017 13:44

It's impacting negatively on your work, so yes I agree it's time to put it in writing to your manager.

A calm factual description of the impact, plus any info/detail of specific occasions (eg the date/time of the fish incident where a client commented), could help the manager to realise her friend could cause problems for the business. Agree with copying the email to your manager's manager.

Laughing it off with "that's just her" is not effective management of staff.

Whocansay · 01/07/2017 14:16

I had to work with one of these for a while. Although, she was a perfectly pleasant woman, she would quite literally talk all day. To colleagues, clients, providers, her husband - anyone. We initially thought she would calm down once she'd settled into the job. But no. She was oblivious and had no idea how disruptive she was for everyone else. She as spoken to by the boss many times, first gently, but then more forcefully. She didn't make it through her probation period as she was so difficult to work with.

If your boss refuses to deal with her properly, I would leave. I remember how frustrating it was.

thetemptationofchocolate · 01/07/2017 15:14

You need this OP.
Print it out and keep it on your desk.

To tell my Co-worker to shut the hell up!
Dandelioninthewind · 01/07/2017 16:17

Temptation of chocolate that's brilliant!!! I wish I had the guts to...

to other posters I wish we could listen to a radio to drown out her drivvle but unfortunately no radio/iPod allowed.

I don't feel brave enough to speak to the boss above me...the other women in my office just will not saying anything they prefer to moan about her it's quite snipey that's another reason why I'm thinking of leaving.

I LOVE the air horn idea Grin

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Catinthecorner · 01/07/2017 16:42

I'd start looking but I'd also push back with management. You need to make that not about this woman but the impact. So not 'Sandra is really loud constantly' but 'yesterday seven customers complained they couldn't hear me on the call because of the volume of background noise here', not 'Sandra had a ranting, swearing call with her ex yesterday' but 'yesterday we received three complaints about unprofessional language and behaviour'.

Dandelioninthewind · 01/07/2017 23:27

Catinthecorner definitely will use this tactic...after a long think and searching through jobs today I've decided to leave...obviously it's not just about my co-worker but it's major contributing factor.

OP posts:
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