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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect my husband to get home before I have to put DS to bed?

26 replies

littleEasterlapin · 22/03/2007 18:33

Well, yes, I am because it's not his fault and he hates missing bath and bedtime, but DS is teething and has a cold, and has spent all day crying or wanting to feed, and I have a splitting sinus headache, and I haven't had lunch, and I just really need to sit down with a cup of tea and I AM FED UP.

Rant over.

OP posts:
Ivor · 22/03/2007 18:35

Hear where your coming from, still no show on the teeth then?

baggybelly · 22/03/2007 18:35

I'm on my own here too just about ti start baths & bedtime malarky. except my dp is on late shift all month so have to get used to it make sure u put your feet up the minute he does get home!

dingolimpet · 22/03/2007 18:35

mine works 12 hour dy, seven days a week

SherlockLGJ · 22/03/2007 18:36

Bugger the tea...This should do the trick.

AnnabelCaramel · 22/03/2007 18:37

Mine does the 12 hour thing 6 days a week, but every now and then absolutely promises to get home in time...I always ignore it, so I'm not disappointed, but deep down I always hope he'll be back. Like tonight, when he said he'd be home by 5.30. Yeah right....

LadyTophamHatt · 22/03/2007 18:53

DH is home late tonight and I'm quite glad because it means I can get the kids to bed early.

When he's here they always end up staying up later then I want them too.

38 minutes and counting and they'll be in bed....HOOOO-BLOODY-RAHHH!

LadyTophamHatt · 22/03/2007 18:53

37 minutes now....

maxandmonty · 22/03/2007 18:53

There is no easy answer here - I am effectively a single mum Mon-Friday....sometimes hubby works or entertains until midnight. Was getting really fed up so our compromise is he gets home once a week at 5 in order to see the boys and help out during the "witching hours" ie 5-7pm dinner, bath, stories and bed. At weekends he takes out both boys in Saturday mornings to give me some "me" time....doens't always go to plan but seems to work for us.....all I can say is thank goodness for routines! By the 7pm comes around Im ready for my glass of wine!! (but then there is still the dinner and housework to be getting on with.....) Who said motherhod was easy?!

ComeOVeneer · 22/03/2007 18:55

I actually find the whole bath/bed thing so much easier if dh isn't here. As he is here so infrequently for it when he does get home in time, the chilkdren get over excited at seeing him and the whole process takes ten times as long and is far more stressful.

Original poster
littleEasterlapin · 22/03/2007 18:56

Sherlock, thanks for that

Still no teeth

I really shouldn't moan, at least he is here, for the first 3 months he was deployed... and my friends' husbands are in Afghanistan, Iraq and the Falklands, so I am pretty lucky all in all!

Still helps to have a moan though

OP posts:
ComeOVeneer · 22/03/2007 18:56

Moan away. It always makes me feel better .

compo · 22/03/2007 18:57

maxandmonty - is there any way you could not do the housework in the evenings... it sounds a nightmare...

lostinfrance · 22/03/2007 18:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
littleEasterlapin · 22/03/2007 18:59

maxandmonty - I just don't do the housework and to be fair to DH, he does cook most nights.

OP posts:
maxandmonty · 22/03/2007 19:27

My "housework" consists of general tidying, its not as if Im scrubbing and polishing until all hours!! I think we have got a pretty good family routine now although I would love to see more of my DH! Still, he has started his own business so if all goes well we should reap the benefit in a few years....(Then I will be freaking out if he is around all day!) Can't win with me!!

dueat44 · 22/03/2007 19:28

My DH works very late as well. I can hack that, what i really hate is the not knowing when he'll be home - because he doesn't think to ring me and I start to feel like a queen-size nag if I keep ringing him to ask. But it would be nice for DS to KNOW whether he will see Dady that night, even for a minute ...

southeastastra · 22/03/2007 19:29

i'm always on my own until 930 too. it sucks

southeastastra · 22/03/2007 19:30

and it's his birthday today too

maxandmonty · 22/03/2007 19:32

why is it that DH say they will be in at 8pm...you get the kids to bed, cook the dinner, and then lo and behold, phone goes at 8:15 to say they are just leaving!!! (or is that just my DH)??

dueat44 · 22/03/2007 19:36

They cannot multi-task at all. Nose trained on the job at hand, totally unable to admit other thoughts / issues into their heads.

Such as, it's your dad's birthday tomorrow DH: you haven't got him a card, have you? Luckily I have - but have you signed it yet?? Noooooo ...

amidaiwish · 22/03/2007 19:49

can i join in the moan?
DH is going to the US on sunday for 5 days (work)
he is out tomorrow night
he could have got home tonight in time to do bedtimes... surely? but no... i just phoned him before DD1 went to bed to check whether he was nearly home and he hadn't actually left. grrrrrrr.

maxandmonty · 22/03/2007 19:54

amidaiwish....I think you should absolutely insit on him getting home at a reasonable hour tomorrow - especially as he is going out and then going away!!! I bet he is moaning about being away on buiness as well...poor hard done by thing...I would love to spend 11 hours on a plane sleeping, chilling and reading!

unknownrebelbang · 22/03/2007 20:01

I rarely moan about DH being at work - he does shifts so is often out at odd times anyway, but today........he's already worked 14 hours, he's still there, and he should have picked the boys up from school at 4.30 pm.

And I can't whinge at him, as he really has no choice.

amidaiwish · 23/03/2007 08:06

i know...
he did get up with them at 6.01 this morning though. said "i'm stitching you up enough, i'll get up" - and he has done the early mornings nearly every day this week, brought me tea in bed at 7.30

yes at the "i don't want to go away..." i wouldn't mind 5 full nights sleep in a nice hotel in san francisco! he was just saying yesterday "must get some sunglasses... it's very sunny over there" poor love. how is it sunny stuck in an office? hmmmmmmmmmmmm

maxandmonty · 23/03/2007 10:44

At least he brought you a cuppa - when my DH does the early mornings, he lies on the sofa under the duvet sleeping whilst 3 yo watches cbeebies!!! Oh if only! Love your DH comment about the sunglasses...mine "pretends" he hates entertaining clients at fancy restaurants and pubs yet he is always one of the last to leave?! Funny that!!!