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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DP has started a new job, great but.......

21 replies

wildwoman · 22/03/2007 18:33

He has gone from a 9-5 to a 7-7 sometimes, which is fine I completely understand that it's part of the job but the kids go to bed at 7 and want to know if he will be home in time for thier bedtime story. I have absolutely no idea becuase he never answers his bloody phone to me. All I want is for him to call and let me know if he's going to be late....I can tell I being a cow now that I've written it down.

OP posts:
littleEasterlapin · 22/03/2007 18:34

wildwoman, total cross threads, you and I!

feel better hon x

Original poster
wildwoman · 22/03/2007 18:35

spooky!

OP posts:
Original poster
wildwoman · 22/03/2007 18:40

Ok, I'll take that as a yes then!

OP posts:
NoNoNoBodyInTheTomb · 22/03/2007 18:45

I don't think you'r ebeing unreasonable - it's an adjustment, and I know it would piss me off. Have you talked to him? Is there some reason he maybe can't answer your phonecalls? Could he text you or something?

Original poster
wildwoman · 22/03/2007 18:47

He could text me but that would require him to think about me! I am just a bitter twisted co at the moment becuase I have given up my job to become a SAHM becuase of the increase in his hours.

OP posts:
Original poster
wildwoman · 22/03/2007 18:48

that would be a bitter twisted cow not co!

OP posts:
Judy1234 · 22/03/2007 19:14

This is why women should work as long hours as and be paid mo re than their husbands and never stay at home as it's a dreadfully boring and unsatisfying life anyway.

2shoesonanegghunt · 22/03/2007 19:28

Xenia crap

littleEasterlapin · 22/03/2007 19:32

HUGE GENERALISATION ALERT! PLEASE EVACUATE THE THREAD!

mamatres · 22/03/2007 19:32

oh god xenia change the bloody record.
everyone knows your tiresome views. just give it a rest.
do you actually have kids? and if so why? it never seems as though you actually want to be with them?or do you just make this crap up to wind people up?

RanToTheHills · 22/03/2007 19:34

and women should be paid more (like most have a choice?) Not v sensitive when you consider that the average female salary is still only 70% of a man's

maxandmonty · 22/03/2007 19:36

i think you need to find a compromise - i gave up work 3 and half years ago to be a SAHM.....recently started working 2 days a week...found a fab job on www.workingmums.co.uk its early days but I actually think my kids will get more out of me working - although I am lucky as my mum has them, I know its not that easy......

tribpot · 22/03/2007 19:42

Is that a real Xenia comment? That seems too stereotyped even for her (or him).

Judy1234 · 22/03/2007 19:46

Let us all have rights to express views. Woman at home with children and unhappy and man out 7 - 7 is just about as bad as it gets in terms of equality of home and work life and I'm not surprised if people get fed up with it.

Tortington · 22/03/2007 19:47

i think its less about a boring lie and more about wanting to spend some time with a life partner - if the OP had a ull time job 9-5 it would not a jot of difference make! especially if the problem is that you want the person you love most in all the world to have some time with you and the kids.

i think its a matter of respect and courtesy to tell you what time to expect him home. you may like to remind him that your not actually sat waiting on his every breath and if he would like you to ignore him and lead a seperate life iwthin a marriage then he is going the right way about it.

pansypants · 22/03/2007 19:52

i think yeh, equality but men seem to be born guiltless when it comes to our children, and women, ok huge genralisation are guilty for the rest of their childs' life - or is it only moi? Regardless of what we do they are at the foremost of OUR minds yet not our partners

Tortington · 22/03/2007 20:09

errrm, i think a lot of that is to do with women actually taking over most of the roles automatically by simply virtue of being a woman and they men by virtue of being lazy fuckers say " id ont know how" " i can't do it"

i always said - i never went to lessons - i wasnt born with any special knowledge - so cut the shit - change a nappy, make a bottle, put them to bed - do your best - its what i'm doing - believe me i have no special skills by virtue of being a woman that you havent got.

once my dh got that there was no way he was getting out of anything - he does more than his air share of house work and has always been involved heavily with kids parents evening etc walking them to school, biking with them to school etc etc - whatever got us as a family unit to function best.

this haas then allowed him to create and nurture a fab relationship - one that i wouldnt destroy - if i could - and i couldnt

maxandmonty · 22/03/2007 20:16

i agree with Custardo...its all about reaching a compromise that suits YOUR family......

Original poster
wildwoman · 23/03/2007 09:32

Sorry I bailed on the conversation early, I was putting the kids to bed....he got home at 7:30 btw.

OP posts:
kickassangel · 23/03/2007 09:42

you have a right to know when he'll be back - it's common courtesy & he wouldn't leave a work colleague guessing.
my dh (& i think many others) is a bit like this - they go to work & forget all about their 'other life' as a human being. you prob need to lay down some boundaries - dh is home by 7 or phone to say he will be late - although he often doesn't phone til 6.45!
it really annoys me as he doesn't understand that my work suffers because i HAVE to pack up & get home as i pick dd up, but he can spend 15 mins finishing things off. now he picks dd up once a week so i can catch up.

HoppyDaddy · 23/03/2007 13:40

DW or I always call or text if going to be late so we know what to tell dd.

Xenia, stop hijacking with your political agenda.

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