In having a 13 year old watch ds?

[Loopyloppy]

Ds is 3.5. A family friend who we know fairly well has just started to babysit. She's only 13 but has done two cpr (first aid courses) and a six month 'babysitting' course, whatever that is. She's a sensible girl.

I've hired her to start looking after ds a few hours a week. I thought for the first couple of months I'd stick around. Just so I can work in the garden more. (Ds is a fucking nightmare 'helping' with the weeding- i.e. pulling out seedlings and it would be a huge help to have someone do lego and play with him.)

I was telling a couple of friends last night and they were all pearl clutchy and saying how unsafe it would be and they wouldn't dream of it.

I'm not planning on just buggering off and leaving her with him, I'll be around outside. This is fine right?!

And what age do you think someone can be left with a (bouncy) 3.5 year old? Depends on both of them right? Would it be awful to leave her with him for a couple of hours in a couple of months when I'm sure she's competent?

times change and concept of acceptable risk change.

I have a 14y/o sd. She has been babysitting my 7,5 & 4 year old since she was 13. We only do things locally so can be home fast and she can call on the neighbors for help in the event of a real emergency.

I wobbled a bit when we first started doing it and i think i actually did a AIBU about it. I then remembered that at 13, i was actively babysitting local kids, got myself and my sister dressed and breakfasted and into school every day and home again and usually dinner started and somehow we were neither kidnapped by pedophiles, blown up in a gas explosion or murdered each other (though it may have been close at times).

So yes, i think the idea of hiring a 13 year old to be mother's helper while you are still actually around the house is absolutely fine.
Enjoy your gardening in peace!

I think it's all about your judgement if the 13 yr old is sensible and well known and you can trust her and you're around if needed I think that would be fine I would do it xx

Fine but check you don't accidentally fall foul of child employment laws

I did baby sitting at 13 with my older sister (she was the right age I was the one actually good with kids). Then by 15 I was sole charge. Worked with many families. Dealt with ill children and pets. Nothing ever went wrong but had it my mother was on hand not very far away.

When i was 13/14 i was lwft in charge of my 8 yo sis and newborn brother. Also babysat many friends 8yos until 12pm. I had no training or first aid. Probably wasnt a good idea now thinking back and i wouldnt leave my kids with a 13 yo. But if its while you are home then thats fine.

Sounds fine to me if your around . Why have you only had one night out in 3 years when your mil lives next door ?

Biffs - that's a whole other story. Until last week she's been 'too busy' to babysit for almost 4 years.

We're in the States and legally wise it's all fine.

She's been here an hour and a half and I'm worried she's going to be bored stupid. Ds hasn't let her stop reading books or playing mind numbingly boring games and probably won't the whole three hours she's here.

I think I'll pay her a little more than she asks for to keep her interested.

I babysat from 13 as has dd and no issues there at all.
I think it sounds like she is a very nature and sensible 13 year old.

I was looking after younger kids at that age. Ignore the naysayers and do what feels right. Just because some people's 13 yo kids are immature doesn't mean all of them are.

I was babysitting in sole charge by 13/14. I was a young leader at a brownie pack so used to babysit some of the brownies and younger siblings. I even had the leader's 3 children (aged 2-8) overnight! I wasn't allowed to cook for them, we walked to the chippy for tea. And I didn't even have a mobile phone in those days.

So having her watch DS while you garden or work should be no problem, and you can judge her attitude and ability to see if you want her in sole charge at some point.

We were showing her the garden and ds fell on a bridge and cut his lip. She went in to full calm first aid mode while I was flapping around like an idiot shrieking 'he's bleeding he's bleeding'.

She also told the dog off for rolling in the mud and shut her in the entryway to dry off.

And she's speaking the odd word of French to him.

Is it wrong to beg her to come back?

She sounds great! I think it's ideal to start off as you are with her babysitting while you are doing the garden and get to know her. Some 13 year old girls are very mature, some less so, so you really need to get to know her. It is also a lot better for your ds to get comfortable with her before you start leaving him for longer periods.

I used to babysit my younger cousin at about that age, granted they were usually in bed but I also had to do bedtime a few times. I didn't do any of the courses your sitter has done op.

She sounds great and very responsible.

I believe,in Scotland anyway, there is a legal ruling on this subject

It's not babysitting it's a mothers help type job if you are there. She will be able to be a sort of big cousin and play with him. Sounds fine. I wouldn't leave her alone though.

Fine if just in the garden but far too young to leave in sole charge.

If you're around yes.

When I was 14 I babysat for a little girl (6) and her baby brother (1.5) from 6pm- 1am (or later depending how pissed they got).

Now I'm a parent I think how seriously irresponsible they were. But my parents were ok with it because I had a fully charged phone and could contact them if I needed to, also dad picked me up when I finished.

Many times it got to 2-3am and still no sign of the kids parents.

So no, YANBU at all, you're around, letting a seemingly responsible teenager take care of your kid whilst you do some work in the garden!

I think it's fine, your not leaving her in sole charge. It's mothers help.

If your MIL is pressuring you to use her for regular formal childcare so you can work, I am sure there is some kind of law about rountinely using informal childcare, could be a myth but worth researching to stop you mil pushing it!

I personally wouldn't, no.
My dd1 is 14 and the most sensible girl I know, sil and I have said she can start babysitting my dn's (2 and 6) when she is 15. Any younger I would be far too worried to relax.