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AIBU?

Bedtime for 4.5YO

19 replies

EastMidsMumOf1 · 30/06/2017 10:39

My dm has told me Im making a rod for my own back by letting my dd have "late nights"- late night being 8pm! My dd stays with my dm 3 nights a week and she insists on putting her to bed at 6.45pm Confused dd is my only child, shes always been a good sleeper so Ive been fairly laidback when it comes to bedtimes but I dont know if im BU or dm is.

OP posts:
DJBaggySmalls · 30/06/2017 10:45

If you let your kids experiment, they can learn to manage their own bedtimes. I didnt have set bedtimes at all. I explained if they went to bed too late, the consequence was that they'd be tired the next day. They stayed up to watch a film on a school might once and found the next day so unpleasant they didnt bother again.

superfluffyanimal · 30/06/2017 10:45

my 4.5 year old goes to bed at 8pm, she isn't in school yet though, I plan to get her to bed at 730pm in the week once she starts school but allow 8 -830pm ish at weekends.

Too early just means hideously early starts with her, she wakes naturally around 7am - 730am, it works for us.

doowapwap · 30/06/2017 10:52

My 4.5 year old goes to bed at 7, sometimes a little earlier if he's tired. He sleeps till 7am. Sometimes he'll play a little in his room, or look at some books but then he'll just go to sleep and he doesn't wake his younger brother up.

If he goes to bed at 8 or later, he still wakes at 7 and is then very grumpy and tired. He starts school in September

Rumtopf · 30/06/2017 10:53

When she goes to bed at 6:45 what time does she wake?

We've always had early bedtimes in relation to friends but dd has always needed a lot of sleep. At that age I think she was in bed by 7pm.

Scottishchick39 · 30/06/2017 10:56

My 4.5 year old goes to bed at 8pm and gets up at around 7. My DH doesn't get home from work until around 6.30-7 so if I put my DS to bed any earlier they wouldn't get to see much of each other. He's never tired, doesn't nap during the day so this must be enough sleep for him. Do whatever works for you both.

Coddiwomple · 30/06/2017 10:59

It depends how much sleep your child needs and your own schedule. Mine don't need to be up until 7.30am, so at 4.5 around 8pm, but again not every child needs to sleep.

During the summer holiday, they go to bed around 9pm and don't get up until 8am earliest, so it works for whoever is in the house with them. On a good day, everybody is asleep until 10am, so that's bliss.

RatOnnaStick · 30/06/2017 11:00

DS goes up at 7pm and is always fast asleep by 7.30, often by 7.20. He is up for the day by about 6.30am.

3-5yr olds need around 11 - 11.5 hours sleep to function well during the day so if he's sleeping enough it really doesn't signify what time he goes to bed. When he starts school you might need to adjust it a bit if his wake up time is later than you need.

stoplickingthetelly · 30/06/2017 11:28

It's up to you what you want to do and what works for you might not work for someone else. Ds will be 5 in Sept and tbh I do consider 8pm a late bedtime. Ds wakes by 6am everyday without fail (even if I put him to bed at 10 pm! ) so stories at 6:45 then lights out easily by 7pm. If we had a later bedtime he wouldn't get enough sleep. Also during the week the kids have tea at 5pm and we have ours at 7:30pm so it works for us.

mollymollymoo · 30/06/2017 11:41

We start the process at 7, light off at 8 latest (usually 7.30/7.45) after bath/stories etc. Any later and there's no evening to enjoy.. Love him to bits, but very happy at bedtime! Wine

Steeley113 · 30/06/2017 11:46

Bedtime between 7-7.30 on week days and between 7.30 and 8 on weekends.

2014newme · 30/06/2017 11:47

7pm

EastMidsMumOf1 · 30/06/2017 11:48

When my dm puts her to bed she will wake up between 5 - 6am which results in her being a grump from 4pm till bedtime! She doesnt nap unless shes sick, is fairly active and has an hour screen free time before bed. The only exception is a friday night where her bedtime could range anywhere between 9 and 11pm as we have relatives with younger children who visit, usually the kids play until they crash out on the sofa. I dont see a point in enforcing a bedtime when she is already so good at going to sleep at a reasonable time, forcing her to lay in bed bored until she falls asleep just seems pointless and abit cruel. Dm wont listen to me and is quite sensitive so Ive just let it be but with her starting school in september I want her to have abit more consistency.

OP posts:
honeylulu · 30/06/2017 11:52

My 3 year old goes to bed at 8 and pretty much always has. Sometimes later at the weekend. She's not one of the "up at the crack of dawn no matter what time she went to bed" types which suits us absolutely fine! She will sleep until she is woken in the morning.
If it works for you then you are right and your mum is wrong.

WeeM · 30/06/2017 11:53

Mine is lights out at 7.45/8. We don't get in from work til 6ish so any earlier and we'd barely see her!ayne we will make it a bit earlier when she starts school. She sleeps til 8.30am, sometimes 9!

WeeM · 30/06/2017 11:53

Ayne=maybe

honeylulu · 30/06/2017 11:53

I think your mum means you've made a rod for HER back because she wants to pack your daughter off to bed early when she visits.
It doesn't sound like a rod for your back at all.

EastMidsMumOf1 · 30/06/2017 11:55

Forgot to add dd has dinner with me and dh which is usually around 6pm after that she will have 30mins on her ipad then she will brush her teeth, pajamas on, cuddles on the sofa then upstairs at 7.45 dd likes me to lay in bed and have a chat with her sometimes instead of a story so by the time thats all done its 8pm, she will wake up between 7-8am in the morning.

OP posts:
EastMidsMumOf1 · 30/06/2017 11:56

honeylulu my thoughts exactly!

OP posts:
ragdoll700 · 30/06/2017 14:10

I have a 5 year old and a 3 year old they go to bed at 7.30 during the school year and between 8 and sometimes 9 during the summer when they can sleep later in the morning which they have only started to do I used to be strict when they were up at the same time regardless what time the when to bed. 8 seems a normal enough time.

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