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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not run in the mothers race at sports day!

175 replies

Generallyok · 30/06/2017 10:06

I'm dreading our children's sports day which is coming up next week. My kids desperately want me to run in the mothers race but the thought terrifies me! So many mothers at our school start the day in Lycra and a lot have personal trainers! So just really want to know if anyone else will be running in the mothers race and if not what's the best excuse.

OP posts:

Captainj1 · 30/06/2017 19:20

I won ours last year and was winning this year but put my foot in a pothole in the grass and went arse over tit. I'm not the sort to get embarrassed, just lay on the ground and couldn't stop laughing. My DS won two of his races and was last by a mile in the third and in tears; I tried to console him with the fact that at least he hadn't looked a complete knob by falling over but he wasn't having any of it, kept crying regardless and said I hadn't looked stupid because I was winning when I fell. Retirement beckons next year I'm over 40 so too old for this shit 😂

hookiewookie29 · 01/07/2017 20:31

My friend works as a nanny and took part in the Mum's race as the little one's mum couldn't be there.
Her foot went down a pothole and there was a loud snap....... she had broken her leg in 2 places. Ended up in hospital for 10 days with several bolts and a couple of plates holding it together....

Mittens1969 · 01/07/2017 20:45

Thankfully, they don't do a mums' race at my DDs' school so I don't have to worry about whether to take part. If they did, I would definitely find an excuse not to join in. I'm an older mum, in my 40s, so I really don't want to show myself up, or embarrass my DDs, who both do well on sports day.

ThomasinaCoverly · 01/07/2017 20:53

I joined in - I'm completely unsporty, and in particular can't run, but I didn't actually come last. I count that as quite a victory considering that I'm in my forties and doing a sedentary job, and DD's school is full of parents who run marathons in their spare time. DD was pleased I had a go, which is what counted.

BlessYourCottonSocks · 01/07/2017 20:58

Only did it once. I refused awkwardly for several years because I ran 100 and 200m at national level in my teens . I would have felt a tit running in the mother's race at a small village primary school. I can't run to lose.

After pestering and shaming from headmistress I eventually ran when eldest DC was about Y4. And I fucking wiped the floor with the rest. Embarassingly so.

Cue many black looks and never being asked again, thank God.

stressystressy · 01/07/2017 21:21

I'm a nanny, and took my charges to Sports Day with their Dad. The arrangement was that one parent would go to all school events depending on work commitments, sometimes Mum, sometimes Dad - I went to them all as it's my job. I knew all of my charges' friends and a big group (including my charges) came running up to me asking me to join the Mothers Race.

Not only am I not a fast runner (I'm not unfit just no speed at all!) I am a complete introvert. I loved my charges though, and didn't want to let them down. We all lined up at the starting line, and took off.

As all the mums pulled ahead of me, among the encouraging shouts of "Mummy" and "Mum" - a chant started...my name! Heard loud and clear over the rest, as the classmates of my charges picked it up. I came in second to last to the pitying glances of other parents. I was mortified. My charges thought I was amazing though, and whenever we had the "good sport" talk, I pulled on that experience.

If I can do it and survive OP, then you can!

missiondecision · 01/07/2017 21:35

Titted out of her top
Can't stop sniggering at that.

Peachypie83 · 01/07/2017 21:35

My DP ran in his son's fathers race, stumbled, put his leg out to steady himself and the shock wave travelled up his leg and snapped his femur

He was out of work for 18 months (self employed), I had to go back to work full time to support the family and 2 years after the event, it's still not fully healed!

Mehfruittea · 01/07/2017 21:41

Oh dear... this is our first sports day too. Soooooo, I'm in a wheelchair...

What if the school don't do it because of me?! And what if they do do it? Should I enter for a laugh and for the sake of an inclusion message? Don't really fancy everyone staring at me, I look fatter sat down.

BigGrannyPants · 01/07/2017 21:45

Our school didn't do it this year because people were really badly injured last year! Rufus starting to wonder if your child goes to the same school as mine!

Thissideof40 · 01/07/2017 21:48

I never do it. I'm so bloody clumsy, I'd be the one who'd embarrass myself in front of the whole school and trip over my own feet.

The dad's race cracks me up as one of the dad's is an ex-premiership footballer so the other competitive dad's race to try and beat him. The testosterone levels are sky high.

Rosieposy4 · 01/07/2017 22:04

Only had to endure a few through 4 dc at primary school( first head didn't entertain it)
Mass over competiveness, lycra and spikes for all ( except me) fortunately I had a toddler to hand, grabbed another one and the three of us ambled towards the line.

Greyingmumto3 · 01/07/2017 22:12

I hated sports day as a child and hate the mums race as an adult . The only one I ever agreed to run was the nursery year ( mainly because the teachers somehow never give us much choice ) . Don't know why but it starts off as a good laugh and slowly becomes more competitive as they go through the school .
Anyway in my daughters last year she begged me to take part . I hate any type of attention ,but in the end I decided to go for it because as other posters have already said we tell our kids just to enjoy themselves.
I thought my child would be mortified that I came second from last , but no , the mum behind me actually fell over into the crowd of children so my pitiful performance wasn't even noticed 😀

shouldwestayorshouldwego · 01/07/2017 22:54

You need to play a long game on this one-

YrR. Make sure you are pregnant/have small baby for first sports day - admittedly might be hard to arrange at this late stage you therefore might need to borrow a baby - could be tricky as the mothers in the know will have procreated for this reason and hence will be holding on tight to their baby perhaps target mother of twin babies she might be willing to share, mother of triplets even better. This gets you through the reception year.

Yr1. If you haven't already had baby in reception you could plan for this for yr1 - you have a year which is perfect. If you already had the baby in reception then make sure that either it isn't weaned and so you have to feed a wriggling toddler or that it is the most hyper child known in the school for a long time that even the really strict deputy head wouldn't agree to mind the child. If no toddler available then six months before get volunteering at the school and make sure that they come to you first for the holding the tape or sticky label job.

Yr2. At this stage you might be able to skip to yr3 and upward excuse but if not then about a month beforehand (timing is important as you don't want anyone to realise that it is related to sports day) buy some crutches from eBay and tell everyone that you tore a ligament when training for a half marathon. Should be better in 4-6 weeks but probably shouldn't risk it.

Yr3 and upward - by this stage your child will hopefully have developed a sense of embarrassment of their parents. This is contagious and certainly my youngest has developed this by yr 2 after observing his sisters. You need to study the clip of John Cleese in the ministry of silly walks. Announce to them that finally, this year you can take part in sports day, maybe they could come with you to the rec and you can all practise. Limber up with great seriousness (this may be sufficient in itself) and then channel your inner Cleese to do the silliest run ever but in an ernest and serious way. Appear slightly crestfallen but understanding when your child begs you not to consider taking part ever again in sports day.
Job done.

iwouldgoouttonight · 01/07/2017 23:13

shouldwestayorshouldwego

If only I'd read that advice six years ago...

AngeloftheSouth84 · 01/07/2017 23:27

Turn up in unsuitable clothing and hope you don't have to do it in your knickers like you did for forgotten kit when you were at school

bonbonours · 02/07/2017 12:09

Agree with the others who say just do it, stop taking yourself so seriously and set a good example of having a go.

Ours was a load of silly races chosen by the kids. Most people had a real laugh with it. The only people that looked a bit silly were the ones who refused to take part through fear of looking uncool. The kids loved it and surely that's more important than parents worrying about what people think of them. And to those who worry about being overweight, we had a quite large lady with big boobs and a low cut top who gamely had a go at the sack race. Her daughter was thrilled.

bonbonours · 02/07/2017 12:12

Oh and having a baby or toddler is no excuse. Last year one mum did a race with a baby in a sling and this year one did disco dancing with a toddler on her hip. Just have fun.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 02/07/2017 12:54

Oh and having a baby or toddler is no excuse. Last year one mum did a race with a baby in a sling, and this year one did disco dancing with a toddler on her hip. Just have fun.

Bully for them. Sadly we're not all perfect, though. I wouldn't run with a baby in a sling. Supposing she fell and landed on the baby. All that impress the PTA.
I didn't need excuses I just used to say no. I've got no problems refusing to do anything that I feel uncomfortable with.
Also what about people with anxiety. Do you realise how daunting running and dancing about in front of people would be for them.

DeleteOrDecay · 02/07/2017 12:59

The only people that looked a bit silly were the ones who refused to take part through fear of looking uncool.

It's not just about looking uncool though is it? As a pp said if you suffer from anxiety getting up and running/dancing in front of people can be very daunting.

Attitudes like yours don't help, if you want to do it then do it. If you don't then don't. It shouldn't be a big deal and no one should feel guilted into or obliged to take part when, for what ever reason, they don't want to. Nor should people be shamed for not taking part. Not everyone finds this sort of thing fun or enjoyable.

noeffingidea · 02/07/2017 13:49

bonbonours there's no excuse needed. People that want to take part can, people that don't want to can watch.

HopeYourCakeIsShit · 02/07/2017 13:51

I did it once, when my dd was in reception.
I came 2nd, but the winning mother wore spikes!

AfraidOfMyShadow · 02/07/2017 13:52

If you'd make your children go then you should do. But the whole thing sounds so tedious.

elevenclips · 02/07/2017 13:58

Just say no.
Borrow a knee support and wear it if you want to fake an injury!
But I just said no.
It is a pretty stupid tradition and I've seen and heard of some shockers.
Charging mothers falling badly and hurting their boobs(!)
Unfit unwarned up parents tearing muscle - awful
Competitive fathers arguing over who came first
Such a load of bollocks, no idea why it's done.
Like some sort of adult version of the domination/embarrassment dynamics that kids have to endure.
Also, seen head teacher advise parents to run without shoes if they try to say (I'm not wearing trainers!

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 02/07/2017 21:28

biggrannypants

It was pre school

Child number 2...i did not do it for child number 3

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