For wanting to take a picture of my son and his friends for the end of term

[rabbit12345]

I dropped my year 6 son off on his residential trip yesterday and while we waited to be gathered together for instructions, I pulled together a couple of his friends together to take a photo.

One of the school staff then asked me not to take a photo as I was not allowed to take pictures of other people's children. I know the other mums well and One of the other mums were there and the said it was fine but the staff member still said "please don't". Other parents were also told not to.

AIBU for wanting a picture of my boys and his friends?

I dont think she was unreasonable given it clearly wasn't for publication in newspapers although may have gone on fb BUT with other parents permission and out of the way of other children. It has become a blanket NO because of repeat offenders disregarding some of the risks involved and doing what the hell they please - if they kept to photo of kids no publication without explicit permission from all children shown etc. We re fast approaching even photos of your own kids not being allowed on social media given they are not old enough to give permission themselves etc

wombling she already knew our address.
The photograph enraged her and reminded her that she had a son
she saw it as an insult. How DARE we take credit for DS's achievements. How DARE we pretend we were his parents and not her.

If DS was going to have a talent (he is incredibly talented) SHE must take credit because he is HERS and if he is going to be famous she should be the one benefiting

Because of his disabilities it would be very easy for her to work out what school he is at with a few clues (given) and of course now she knows exactly what he looks like.

@TheFirstMrsDV ahh ok. I wasn't being obtuse, I was just wondering if the paper had given out details or something!!

Can someone answer my other question about why it's ok to take photos at certain events but not others?

There is a wider issue here. Completely understand the CP issues involved but I wonder if enough is being done to protect those children in general.

We were in a public place yesterday and although the school clearly protected themselves legally, there were other schools there with parents freely taking pictures. And like another PP said, the children were in uniform. Same goes for school trips. Removing ties and jumpers would resolve this.

Also a blanket ban should be just that with no exceptions.

Same applies at our school, and they refused to allow us to take pics of them for their yr6 leavers book on the basis that apparently the school "doesn't know what we are going to do with them".

However, the school itself posts loads of pictures on its twitter account and you can just copy them into your drive. So this makes a total mockery of CP issues.

School sounds like it's being inconsistent if it allows you to take pics at sports days. But your dc isd in Year 6 - didn't you know about this before?

Our school says that if you take pics of other dc, keep them for your own use and don't share them on social media. Fair enough. Might be worth asking to clarify what your school's social media/photography policy is.

I think if you trust school staff sufficiently to care for your son during a residential you should have the grace to acknowledge that if they ask you not to do something then they have good reason to do so and therefore should not come whining on to a message board .

I'm pretty sure there's a kid in my sons class who cannot have pics taken for a good reason. Obviously not my business to pry but I respect that. She's a lovely kid - I wouldnt want to inadvertently cause her any harm.

Think you need to stick by the rules on this one.

I know you weren't wombling; Sorry if I sounded brusque

If the other parents have said it's fine just over rule her. She doesn't have any authority to stop you.

I hate this attitude. So entitled, and so unbelievably arrogant. The OP says ONE of the other mums was there and said it was fine- that other mum can't speak for all the children.

You have no idea what might be behind the rule but it's obviously in place for a reason. Respect it, ffs, and realise the world doesn't revolve around you.

No you didn't MrsDV I was just worried I sounded like I didn't believe you 😁

The pictures used on the school twitter account will have been checked to ensure that they are not children at risk.

There have been children killed by their fathers when they have found out where the mothers have fled.

Adopted children are also at risk.

It is not political correctness. It is safeguarding. Some people need to grow up and realise that not every child has had a happy life, and stop being selfish and putting placements and children at risk.

When I say placements I mean children in foster care. There have been cases of children having to be moved to another foster carer due to being found. These kids have had enough disruption.

A blanket ban does make sense, but maybe the children they know should not have their photos taken don't attend sports day as it's expected there will be photos taken there? But then that seems a bit silly too. I'm totally guessing. Or maybe there is something more identifying about where the op was taking the photo?

Either way, I'd always err on the side of NOT taking photos of other people's children at school. I don't see the appeal tbh anyway and think it's better to be on the cautious side. You have no idea who might not like you taking a photo and why that might be. Cameras are bloody everywhere these days. It gets kind of intrusive for some people and is a genuine CP issue for others.

It's the usual political correctness bollocks

Consider consulting a dictionary.

No one can stop you sending your child to school with a peanut butter sandwich either, but would you really want to, knowing that your doing so could endanger another child if there was a nut allergy?

If they've asked you not to take a photo, you could respect that and take the photo off school grounds instead, maybe when you pic your child up after the trip.

As for the suggestion that a parent over rule a teacher in front of the children, ffs, is it any wonder children go to school thinking they don't have to do as they are asked or follow basic rules.

Zippey - the other parents have said it's fine just over rule her. She doesn't have any authority to stop you.

What a completely crap and entitled attitude. Why not read the thread and see why the teacher might have said what she did??

However, the school itself posts loads of pictures on its twitter account and you can just copy them into your drive. So this makes a total mockery of CP issues. - the school will be very well aware of which children are NOT to have pictures published! When your child starts at the school, you should have filled in a form stating whether you allow pictures to be taken and potentially published, or not. If not, they won't.

ptumbi is correct.
My DS's school has a lively twitter account and put lots of sporting photos up. DS is in the teams but doesn't appear. They are well aware of the children who can't be shown.

If its any comfort I would LOVE for it to be ok for my DS to have his photo taken. It causes huge issues for us. He hates being left out. I hate him being left out. I get the raised eyebrows when I tick the NO box on permission slips. I either put up with being thought a precious idiot or I share DS's personal story to justify myself.
So I am the precious idiot because its not fair on him to tell the world his private business.

Teacher trying to get everyone organised for a residential haven't got time to police which parent is photographing which child, check which children must not be photographed and whether they are in shot and everything else.