People who have strong opinions on EVERYTHING!

[Decaffstilltastesweird]

...and are constantly trying to convince you to think the same as them.

AIBU to find this bloody exhausting?

I have a relative like this and I honestly don't think I can be around her any more. Her tactics for getting A) her own way and B) me to agree with whatever she thinks, range from simpering and saying I'm 'mean' or horrible if I don't roll over and do what she says, to screaming, yelling and verbally taking apart my character if I say the wrong thing. Sorry, I am ranting, but I've just about had it today. I'm beginning to think this person is a manipulative bully and I'm putting my foot down by being cowardly and talking to a bunch of strangers on MN.

I have a relative like this too. She even does a weird laugh when I say something that she doesn't agree with. It's her way or no way. You are right, it's tiring and obnoxious but these people can't be changed...easier to just say 'hmmm' and change the conversation.

Oh bin her off she's a twat.

Just do a hmmm face. It'll destroy her!

A laugh I could take tbh, it's the fucking loud monologue, stropping and sulking if I don't immediately back up exactly what she says. Argh! It's usually bitching about people I like as well. This sounds dramatic, but I'm a little scared to pick up the phone to her as I just don't know what I'm going to be greeted with.

Nope, she's like a dog with a bone. A hmmmm face will not deter her.

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God it's so difficult though - I have a friend who is pro-Brexit, voted Tory and so on. There is no way on earth she's going to convince me that she's right so if she ever mentions politics I give (what is supposed to be) a non-committal hmm. But maybe she thinks I'm really annoying and have a weird laugh!

Okaaaay. Ditch her.

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Oh my goodness yes! They try and micro manage everything whilst belittling what you think if they don't agree.. it's exhausting!

Sorry I realise I am totally ranting. I probably sound unhinged.

She just seems to have STRONG opinions on everything. I don't. I specifically told her I don't want to be contacted by her re another relative who she is annoyed with as I am not annoyed with them (and actually think she is wrong to be SO angry with the other relative). The same day I asked her not to talk to me about it, she sent me a ranting text saying how the other relative is vile and has no morals.

Today I mentioned something really banal about my life and she started loudly telling me what I was doing wrong.

As long as you aren't Racist/Homophobic/Disablist, or spouting absolute rubbish about how leaving the EU will save the NHS/stop refugees, then just disengage.

Anything more trivial and you've got to learn to agree to disagree, unless the people you know have offences against children on their record, or are any of the above.

Agree with you completely bird. None of that - we are both bremainers and vote for the same party. The other relative has not done anything illegal or harmed anyone.

God it's so difficult though - I have a friend who is pro-Brexit, voted Tory and so on. There is no way on earth she's going to convince me that she's right so if she ever mentions politics I give (what is supposed to be) a non-committal hmm. But maybe she thinks I'm really annoying and have a weird laugh!

Mine's the opposite! I voted for Leave (not Tory though) and have had people banging on and on and on about how I voted "the wrong way". It's none of their business! One of the people who does it the most turns out didn't even vote in the referendum and has never voted in their lives! Hypocrite!

I just read about grey rocking on here the other day, where you just answer in a non committal way every time. Apparently it works a treat on people like this.

Every time she pulls something, distract her by doing something like poking her on the top of the arm. When she eventually asks WTF you're doing, explain that it's the human equivalent of whopping a dog on the end of it's nose with a rolled-up newspaper. After that, I imagine that direct eye-contact, a pointed finger and a strongly worded "No!" may de-rail that kind of crap.
Alternatively, saying "No!" on the phone when she tries to suck you into hanging out with her again may de-rail it more effectively.

justilou I would love to try that. Probably won't though.

I know... she sounds just like my mother. I found having a list of about 20 (fake) reasons written near my phone helpful. (Doctor's, friend's baby, dog to vet, etc) Then I could rattle off a few of these to the question "What are you doing Thursday?" Because if I didn't have anything planned, I'd find myself being manipulated into doing something I hated or ended up resenting anyway.

My brother does a very effective toddler routine with a very dear but also very opinionated friend of my mother's who assumes everyone will agree with her.

He starts by saying politely "I'd be very interested to know just what it is that makes you think that way, Mrs Smith", with just enough of a puzzled tone that it suggests he finds her opinion so peculiar that it's obvious he doesn't agree and can't believe anyone else would think that either and ends up with a full on more puzzled, with head shaking disbelievingly, "but why?" to any response she gives.

It was time consuming the first couple of goes but very effective in registering his disagreement and discouraging her from sharing more controversial opinions with him.

That's very clever justilou.

I'm going lower contact with her. She has had an almighty strop with me again today and said she will keep her distance from me for a while, as I am being mean and horrible by not letting her bitch to me about the rest of our family, as she has nobody else to talk to about it. Um... that's because you have fallen out with everyone else! Oh yes, and it isn't convenient for her to stay with us while she does a course for her hobby, (it genuinely isn't convenient and she already knew this and had a b&b booked). This makes me a terrible person too.

I am bloody relieved. She will try and bitch about me to someone else, but I doubt they will think any the less of me for refusing to slag off the rest of the family and not being able to drop everything to put her up for her course.

Thank you for listening to my rantings. I am normally much calmer than this. Just have had enough tbh.

I like that too cine! Will bear it in mind as I'm sure we'll have to see each other at some point soon.

I m with you 100% on this one I find people like that very draining

My MIL is one she is "outraged" and thinks every trivial thing is "awful" on one occasion she was disgusted by David backhand tattoos - I am not really a fan myslef but god she went on and on about how "awful" they are - why it matters at all to a woman in her 70's who has no connection to him at all I don't know. But I just find MIL and those like that enormously attention seeking and best avoided

That was meant to say David Beckham not backhand😄

Bloody David Backhand !

I know Brand Backhand eh😄