To Think There's Nothing Wrong With This Set Up

[CuppaSarah]

Dd who is 4 was sick last night I

If one is sick in the night what you did is normal, if you have another one that is unwell I think what you did is the only way to get through the night. You do what you need to do and one day they grow up and can deal with their own vomit.

"I just want her approval too much"

Life is too short for that! Everyone does things to suit their own family, do NOT get worked up by how others might perceive you.

I think the vast majority of parents with older children old gimmers like me will tell you this.

Now when we had to stay at my inlaws,my mil got up to be with my dh and hold his hair when he had vomiting thing. A) he was 35. B) he has a buzz cut. C) now THAT'S weird.

I left him to it. Because he's a grown up.

Of course you'd want to be there for your dd and "contain" things as well.

There's nowt weird about this, if ds (5) is sick his dad sleeps in his bed and ds sleeps with me. Like you say, poised with the bowl & reassurance.

Its not strange. We do this too, sick dc goes on sofa with either dh or myself so the other parent and dc's get a decent undisturbed sleep

I always keep with mine if they are unwell and they are now 9&11. Always done it. If they want Me too.

It's not remotely strange that you & your daughter spent the night on a sofa bed while she was ill.

What IS strange is that your friend even has an opinion on who sleeps where when you look after a sick kid. It's none of her business and affects her in no way whatsoever; it's a bit weird that she felt she had to comment.

We all spent last night on the sofa bed because DD (baby) wouldn't settle, I was sick of standing by cot listening to her cry so we hunkered down to give everyone (her, me, DH, neighbours) some peace - then softie DH felt 'lonely' so crawled in next to us. Sofa bed is wider than our bed, so it makes some sense!

Your friend's attitude is weird. If you put a sick 4yo back in bed she'll just vomit all over the new sheets, plus, and more importantly, I'd worry about the safety of leaving a tired, young child to vomit unattended in bed.

Op- what would your friend suggest?

I'm super anti co-sleeping (as in my 3yo DT have never ever slept in our bed, even for a lie in) but even I find your solution sensible!
I mean it is a win win, everybody sleeps the best way possible considering the circumstances.

Your friend's an idiot.

Seems sensible to me. We have an ensuite so last time a sick bug hit dh slept in dc's bed after changing it and dc slept with me so I could aim him at the toilet every hour.

The only strange thing, in your post, is your friend

Sounds eminently sensible.

I literally can't imagine what could be wrong or strange with that set up. I always slept with DS when he was sick as it was easier than running around and having to clean up sick when he couldn't find the bowl in time). If there was another child in the room I'd have done what you did.

Sounds sensible to me wish my parents had done that when my sister was puking all night

Mine are 19 and 17 yrs old now but I used to always put them in bed with me when they were little if they were sick (and OH would sleep in the empty bed left) especially if they were likely to throw up. I’d be poised with the bowl the moment they stirred.
My two DSs are now well rounded independent young men and completely unharmed by my doing this.
Carry on with the way you are doing things- whether your friend chooses to do things differently or not she really shouldn’t be passing judgment on how you choose to parent.

I was going to ask at first if your friend has children but I see she does....only because I can't imagine any parent who has experience young children with a bug thinking that's odd

Certainly in our house it's the unspoken rule...maximise sleep access and has resulted in parents sleeping in chairs, sofas etc with a poorly child on them

Or on one memorable occasion half on a still holding a podgy baby's hand through the bars of a cot lol

Do what gets everyone the most sleep to get through the day

Your friend is weird!
Splitting the childcare when kids are ill is the sensible thing to do, win win for all. I used to do similar with my 2 kids, even now if ds2, 11, is ill he comes in with me to let his brother sleep, why have everyone kept awake by someone throwing up? I wake up if he feel sick and make sure he hits the bowl much better than changing sheets 5 times a night!

If it works for you then tell her to bog off and mind her own buisness. A no-nonsense attitude to someone who is ill sounds pretty horrible tbh. I wouldnt be looking for her approval for anything I did. Be your own person and parent how you want to, never mind anyone elses opinion.

Would she have put her 4yo back in bed with a bucket and a "call me if you need me"?
Perhaps she thought you were mollycoddling her? Risked catching it? Your controlling DH had made you sleep on the sofa so HE didn't have to do woman's work of vomit?

It's none of your friend's business how how you and your DH deal with your sick children, day or night. I wouldn't give her misgivings a second thought.

Does she think you and DD should have had your own bed and your DH should have taken the sofa bed?