To be loosing patience with ill ds.

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DS is ten. In bed with that he's just started with. Sadly it was me who gave it to him.

It's not pleasant flu. It's proper ache, dizzy, hot cold sweats flu. He's in his bed with a big drink of water. Ive opened his windows slightly for air. He's had paracetamol. His temp is stable. I can do no more for him other than make him to rest to get better.

He's crying. Not in a natural way but in a forced loud attention seeking way. He's been into my room 4 times in last 45 minutes. I can do no more. He must rest now.

I still have the flu so feeling equally grotty. He's got younger siblings who if he wakes up i will be furious. Theyve had it and although weren't happy about it didn't carry on like this. My dh is shattered after his long work hours and doing meals, bedtimes etc. So I'm trying to sort it out.

DS is getting on my nerves! I know he feels like shit but if hes got enough energy to make a fuss.

I think your dh should have stayed home if you feel too ill to drive, are ill yourself and have other kids to organise.

Hope you all feel better soon

YABU, but understandably so, you all sound exhausted. Are there any parents you can pull in a favour with to get the others to school?

DH into his bed and you both in yours - all bugs together

Could DH not have gone into work late and helped out with the school/nursery run this morning? Unless absolutely vital he went to work, I think it's a bit shit that he left his flu-ey wife at home to deal with the morning madness and the nursery run on her own, tbh.

He never takes a day off work if any of us are sick. It's always down to me as are all school runs, pickups, medical appointments, school appointments etc.

It's what's happened after years of me being a sahp and because he works so far from home.

Are you for real?!

That's shit of your H and you should have told him he had to stay at least to do the school run as otherwise you couldn't get the kids there. Stop putting up with this. My sympathy is with your DS.

He's 10 and still really little - I think sometimes people forget this

If this was my DS (and he's the same age) I'd either have him in with me or I'd be a little more sympathetic

What we do in situations like this is that ill child gets into our bed, the least ill/knackered parent stays in with them and the other decants to their bed. That saves some disturbance and overheating.

There does come a point where they have to learn to manage their own illness overnight but I'd say 13/14 not 10.

I think it's hard when you are all ill and I understand the lack of patience, esp if you know you've got to do a full on day if drop offs etc.

Your 'D'H needs to step up and support his family more.

Then your "D"H needs to step up and be a parent!

Why do you put up with that? He might be the sole earner but that doesn't mean he gets to opt out of parenting his children - which includes taking them to school or medical appointments if their primary carer (i.e., you) is too sick to do so.

If you both worked, your children were in childcare and the childminder was sick, he would have to step up, so why doesn't he do so when you're sick? What's the difference?

Going out to work doesn't mean he doesn't do any parenting. There are 24 hours in the day. Assuming he works/commutes for ten. Do you do more than ten hours a day cooking, skivvy ing and generally parenting? I bet you do. So why does he get to 'just' work.
Use the workplace FTE (full time equivalent) idea. He works full time, during g that time you parent. When he comes home things that are left are split fifty fifty. Because if you don't, you're effectively doing a double shift and that is SHIT.

He needs to man up and parent. Ffs.

In light of your update that your H won't take days off to help his wife and kids, then I think I would reserve my irritation for him rather than ds.

YABU. When my ten year old is ill and feels that bad I set up a bed on the floor for both of us ouT of duvets and pillows and pop on Netflix for him to doze off to. I have to because when he has a temperature I need to monitor it because he gets very poorly.

Yes I have more than one child and yes sleep is precious. But he's ill and needs extra care and love. It's part of being a parent as far as I'm concerned.

My dh wouldn't dream of leaving me to sort that out myself. Nobody is 'too important' to prioritise their family on occasion. He should've gone in late.

My sympathies to you all op, I hope you and ds feel better soon.

I know I'm late to thetbread, but I seriously hope you did not leave the house while having the flu. Are you stupid enough to go near a school with flu? People like you make me worry for my child's life, no consideration for others at all.

I've got flu at the moment. OH works shifts so I have decamped with the DC, 3 and 8, to my parents (luckily round the corner).
Nearly fainted on the school run on Wednesday, ended up with 8yo putting ME to bed as I felt so ill.
I would imagine that being run over by a steam roller wouldn't feel this bad.
So I totally understand how shit you feel, OP. But on the other hand, he's still only a little boy, really, so I would give him what you can but explain that you feel the same, so can he understand why it's hard for you too?
Hope you all get well soon.

If he's still at primary school it makes sense that he doesn't have the emotional maturity to deal with sickness and is looking for support, love and cuddles from his parents. I know it's bloody exhausting and irritating but it's not forever, a week or so, and things will calm down. You should talk to him about the howling though and ask him why he's doing it as it's not fair on the others to be disturbed by it - he should be able at 10 to articulate his feelings. If he feels he's getting the attention he needs I doubt he'll continue the shouting and wailing.

He's probably better now. This thread is nearly a year old.