To still be fuming about situation with colleague?

[ethelfleda]

There is a co-worker in my office who has very very different political views than me. So as a rule, I do not discuss politics with him as I have learned in the past that he gets very shouty about his opinion!

Today I was having a conversation with another colleague (who shares very similar views) about something political when the other colleague over heard. He immediately started to belittle me and to basically say I had been brainwashed and had no idea what I was talking about etc. I took offence to this and gave my opinion back. He then got very shouty and I got shouty back. He rounded off with a finger pointed at me and the following words (said with venom!) "Don't speak to me like that - remember who you are talking to"
This guy is my equal at work (as in not a manager or supervisor etc). Although in his 60s and VERY old fashioned. I haven't been able to get those words out of my head all day and I felt utterly belittled by him.
To make matters worse, this is not the first time he has shouted at me recently in an office full of people (I do give back when provoked though!) Plus I am currently 20 weeks pregnant (everyone at work knows about the pregnancy) which may be making me feel a little more vulnerable than usual.
So should I just stop being a little snowflake and pull myself together?? Or am I right to feel belittled and as though this is a product of a historically misogynistic working environment and that my colleague has essentially spoke to me like I am a little girl?!!

Windyscales yes - there has been some very positive changes lately. We are only a small office and he is actually the newly appointed MD so I am hopeful for the future!

You need to take control here. First of all, ghost this asshole as much as possible. Secondly, if he ever interjects into another one of your private conversations, the only thing you should say, in a very cold voice, is "You are not a part of this conversation." If he kicks off, get your manager immediately. He can only harass you if you let him.

YANBU to be fuming about his "remember who you are talking to" comment! Presumably a lifetime of exposure to misogyny preceded the comment so you'll be reacting to that too.

YABU if you don't learn from this and change your tactics.

Too many people get 'professionally offended' too quickly. And in a small environment, you need to learn how to get on together, otherwise you'll find yourself 'managed out' of that position, permanently.

Sorry ethel, I had this image of two crazy people yelling their political opinions at each other 😂😂 You were absolutely right!

Hes your equal at work?

Then next time (if there is one) he says "remember who youre talking to", my response would be to fix him with a slightly scornful look and say "oh yes? Who exactly AM I talking to?"

He seems to think hes your superior, if he isnt then theres no harm in bringing that to his attention. And should he come out with "Im your elder/better" I really dont think Id be able to stop myself replying "what century do you think youre living in?!"

Hilda ha, no! I'm quite accepting of the fact that we will never agree with each other on those things so there is no point yelling my opinions at him. It was more me reacting to the condescending tone than his (rather bizarre) opinions

So the general consensus is to not shout but firmly point out that he is out of order for shouting and for eavesdropping and for being a dinosaur

The interesting thing about the replies is to hear people's opinions on work place conduct. Honestly we have been stuck in the dark ages for so long and it has never been a professional environment. It was always a small company with about 12 employees and we've all been there ten years or more. I started in my early 20s and its the only working environment I've known for that long. Hopefully we are moving towards a more professional environment now but I guess I need to be part of that change as well. Definitely food for thought.