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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to tell friend to sod right off

24 replies

MessyHouse91 · 26/06/2017 19:23

Moved into a new place over the weekend. Obviously not at all unpacked - just concentrating on being able to get to work on time and keeping everyone fed and clothed - I'll deal with it when I get to it! (it was a last minute move so couldn't get any time off work)

Anyway, I invited a friend over for a cuppa to see the new place, which she accepted yesterday. She texted at lunchtime today, which went like this:

DF 'I'm picking up [friend] at the station on the way over to yours, is that okay?'
Me 'We're not really set up for guests just yet, maybe you can pop over another day?'
DF 'No I'm going on holiday on Wednesday it has to be today, I was so excited to see it!'
Me 'Honestly it's such a mess, I'd be so embarrassed to have people over'
DF 'you know [friend] won't mind, she knows you've just moved, I'll be so upset if I don't get to see it'
Me 'to be honest I was going to text anyway, we're a bit snowed under and I desperately need to do a food shop'
DF 'I'm going anyway, I'll bring it over, what do you need?'.

So in the end I reluctantly agreed. The friend in question is a close friend of hers, but I've only met her twice at mutual friends' place.

Spent the rest of the afternoon shoving things into cupboards so the place is slightly more reasonable. She was supposed to be here at 7pm, so she's already 20 minutes late.

AIBU to phone her and tell her to sod off? Desperate to chuck some dinner on and get into my trackies, but instead I'm sat here like a pillock waiting!

OP posts:
Palegreenstars · 26/06/2017 19:27

I would just be honest and say you aren't in the mood since she clearly can't take a hint

Justmadeperfectflapjacks · 26/06/2017 19:31

Close the curtains and don't answer the door! . When she rings say you are out shopping. .

BertrandRussell · 26/06/2017 19:32

So she's coming over with your shopping..........

SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower · 26/06/2017 19:33

It's a bit late now, you should have told her to sod off yesterday when are was being so pushy.

But if she doesn't turn soon, def close your curtains and pretend to be out. Just remember to put your phone on silent!

SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower · 26/06/2017 19:33

She's bringing you shopping??

Oh in that case she's probably just got stuck at the supermarket?

AmysTiara · 26/06/2017 19:35

Well if she offered to bring your shopping, she sounds pretty nice. No-one will be expecting the house to look fantastic.

KeiraKnightleyActsWithHerTeeth · 26/06/2017 19:35

Is she always so pushy?

hickorydickorynurseryrhyme · 26/06/2017 19:37

Mmm a bit cheeky of her. I hate it when people do that.

TealStar · 26/06/2017 19:41

She sounds a bit pushy but I think you need to give her and her friend the credit and imagination that they can see through the mess!

KungFuEric · 26/06/2017 19:43

Have they arrived? If not I'd put my pyjamas on now.

Winterc00kie · 26/06/2017 19:52

They may be getting you a house warming gift...xx

SeaCabbage · 26/06/2017 19:55

Presumably it's all over now. Hope it was a nice visit.

But why were you so worried about your house being messy? You've just moved! It's normal. Who cares what she thinks?

Also, if you didn't want her to come you should have said so outright.

Your friend and her friend are being a bit nosey I think but that's only natural with a new house I reckon. It's exciting.

I hope you had a nice time with them. Congratulations on your new house!

Jux · 26/06/2017 19:59

Just text her. "Visit not possible, sorry. Have a gd hol and c u when u get back."

If she turns up anyway, open door in your trackies and say you're sorry but can't be done. Pretend to yourself that you have a naked sexy man in your sitting room waiting for you...... that'll strengthen your resolve!

LazyDailyMailJournos · 26/06/2017 20:03

I would keep it to the absolute minimum. When she arrives tell her you're sorry but you are so snowed under so it is going to have to be very quick cuppa. Give her 30 minutes and then tell her that she needs to leave.

If she gets snotty about it, then point out that she brought someone over uninvited which is bloody rude.

Gemini69 · 26/06/2017 20:05

I LOATHE people like this.... they do not listen... and push push push push push push.... their own agenda....

I feel anxious for YOU x

MadameRaleuse · 26/06/2017 20:06

I'd be OK with that. Definitely if she is a good enough friend that she'll know what to get you at the supermarket. I'm not generally bothered what the house looks anyway, let alone just moved in. In fact have been known to have guests to stay just after moving and roped them in to helping out ;)

Bobbiepin · 26/06/2017 20:07

Put your pjs on anyway. Who cares? It's your home!

Bluntness100 · 26/06/2017 20:09

You invited her over. She's prob not thinking the friend is as big an issue as it is. Hope she's there and they are oohing and aahing about how great it is,,,😁

Notknownatthisaddress · 26/06/2017 20:10

Urgh, pushy fucking 'can't take no for answer' cunts. I had a friend (who I have been avoiding all year for this reason) who was EXACTLY like this.

Really stresses me out! And I am got so mad at myself for no tbeing more assertive. Now I just hide behind the couch if I see her walking up the road!!! She hasn't knocked for 3 months. I think she has taken the hint haha.

BenLui · 26/06/2017 20:12

I'd be annoyed with friend and if I was the friend she was bringing I'f be ^mortified% intruding uninvited on some poor soul that's just moved in.

I absolutely wouldn't be tidying in their behalf.

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 26/06/2017 20:27

Don't answer, why should you.🌸

StaplesCorner · 26/06/2017 20:36

Oh god yes I have this friend. She decides when is convenient for her, and that is the time she is coming, end of.
her "I'll come over at 10am"
Me: "No I'll still be in my pyjamas!"
her: "I don't mind" - how fucking gracious of her!!

diddl · 26/06/2017 20:36

Can't get over her being so excited that it can't wait until after her holiday tbh.

I doubt that her friednd is interested in seeing your place!

MessyHouse91 · 26/06/2017 21:31

Just an update - she came bearing bread, milk and flowers. Didn't take the hint after half an hour, thank goodness DP came home after the hour, he's far happier to show people the door!

Definitely need to outright uninvite next time!

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