Aibu unreasonable to be expecting a 12/13 year old to make this choice?

[motherofmanygirls]

My dd is just finishing year 7. She has been unhappy at her school and bullied, she has spent months depressed and crying etc . We have tried a few times to sort it with the school but it just seems to make it worse every time.

We have three options.

1. she stays there and hopes it improves for year 8.

2. we try a different school near us which she could start in September.

3. she is home educated for year 8 and 9 and then goes to another school nearby which starts at year 10 for her GCSEs.
   Our five younger children are home educated so this isn't a new thing.

I should add she has never had friends in school, not even at primary she just doesn't get on well socially but at primary she was left alone to read whereas since being at secondary she has been really quite badly treated.

I have told her these options and asked her to make a choice but she refuses - she wants me to tell her what to do. I feel as though it's something she needs to decide ?

But aibu? Is she too young to choose on her own?

I need to know soon really!

Home school all the way! You tried the local comp, it hasn't worked.

She will thrive at home, you know this. Homeschool and if at a later date she wishes to make a change discuss it then.

Only read the OP
Clearly the child is in no position to choose.

IMHO it is vital that she continues with mainstream schooling whether at this school or preferably another.

Efforts should also be made to investigate and diagnose the reasons why she has social/interactive/relationship issues.

Can you identify some reasons?

At what age did she start nursery?

I definitely don't think Option 1 is really an option at all. And from the sounds of it home schooling might be best, particularly given that the rest are home-schooled. You need to make the decision for her if she can't.

Bless her. I was in a similar position once and chose to stay because "better the devil you know". In hindsight, I wish I'd listened to my mum.

I'm sure you'll do what's right. In a few years this can all be behind her.

Sounds like she's overwhelmed and worried that she'll make the wrong choice, it's a big decision for a 12 year old!

I think you should talk through the pros and cons of each choice with her, encouraging her to come up with ideas as she may think of pros or cons that don't occur to you.

If you HE, presumably if she hates it she can try a different school? Or If she goes to a different school and hates it you could pull her out and HE. Make that clear to her, so she knows that it's not an irreversible decision either way.

If she's still unsure then you should choose for her, you're the responsible adult in the situation and you should do what you thinK is best for her.