To ask how DSD can handle this friend??

[K1092902]

DSD has just turned 18.

She has been friends with a girl for nearly 3 years. She has been really good to DSD as she moved here from London at 14 when her DM passed away.

This friend (let's call her Lucy) has recently broken up with her boyfriend of 3 years. DSD tells me she does stalk him a bit on social media and will ask her to drive past his house etc to wave to him.

She has really clung to DSD. She says her other friends have ditched her so she feels really sorry for her but at the same time finds her a bit suffocating. She will want to come with DSD to see other friends, want to see her every night after work etc.

DSD has had texts off her saying she is suicidal etc and she wants to kill herself and she doesn't know what to do.

I have told her to block her number and not let her contact her and if she comes to the house she will be told DSD isn't here

I can't believe you even suggested blocking !!

How horrible to tell her to block her friend! Friend had supported DSD in the past from the sound of it, and now you want DSD to block the poor girl when it's the other way around!

DSD should talk to the girls parents and let them know their daughter has been talking about feeling suicidal. Wouldn't you want to know if it was the other way around?

DSD does need your support as she supports her friend. But ffs have a little bit of compassion!

This girl needs a friend. Can't believe you suggested blocking her. Is she at school, college or university. Can you speak to her parents. She is talking about suicide- this needs to be taken seriously.

Hoping your DSD is okay OP
Whilst it is clear lucy needs help, if DSD had been in a romantic relationship with a boy as obsessive and controlling as lucy I'm sure we'd all be calling LTB. Could you call the police or SS if she's suicidal and can't confirm her ability to stay safe?

Lucy needs to see a doctor ASAP. She may not realise that her feelings are due to an illness and this is what she needs. She is suicidal so it is urgent, not an appointment in 3 weeks time. Mental health disorders can be treated and Lucy could be helped a great deal, but not unless she sees the GP to get the help.

Samaritans will listen, but they cannot prescribe antidepressants or put Lucy forward for NHS counselling or a psychiatric assessment.

Blocking her would be very unkind

Yes but not as much as she needs urgent medical help. Blocking her is not the answer but neither is just "being there for her" or "listening to her" in isolation.

I'm afraid I'm with you OP. This is obsessive/ controlling behaviour and needs to be stopped (if it was a boyfriend doing this it would be called abusive, especially the suicide threats) Your SD is not equipped to deal with it and should refer her to college or doctors and then block her.

Bear in mind that the suicide threats might just be attention-seeking (and not in a "I need help" way) or a way of controlling DSD. They don't necessarily mean she IS suicidal.