To think you should not get in a checkout queue if you don't have have your shit together

[PookieDo]

Massive queue in a fairly small but very rammed shop today

Woman queuing at till in front of me gets to the front and cashier calls out 'next!'

Woman realises she doesn't have her husband or small child with her or the basket with the shopping in. So she calls out to them and neither react. Small child is hanging around In the doorway getting in everyone's way. So she gets this basket off child and starts to process this. Husband then takes another 2 mins to stroll over to wife with more shopping. Woman then sends small child over to something else to pick up, which they can't see due to the MASSIVE queue of people patiently waiting so more faffing ensues while she tries to point and give directions, the child can't see it so in the end someone nice in the queue hands it to the child.

Cashier patiently stands and waits while likely dying inside at the needless arseache this is causing

Is this a new thing, joining a queue before you've actually finished the shopping and then continuing to shop while standing at the till?

Grumpy rant over

If I get held up in a queue, I see it as a chance for me to have a bit of a rest from rushing around!

Said no one who works and has children who need ot be collected from childcare!

I was in Waitrose a few weeks ago, very busy, man in the queue, no basket or trolley, 4 people behind him, conveyor empty but he still refused to move. I started unloading my shopping and he just kept stating I was here first, my wife is on her way! Security came and moved him when he started throwing my shopping back in my trolley.

His wife? Chatting to another customer, oblivious! If he had said 'there's my wife would you mind if I could go and get the trolley?' I'd have said 'fine, be quick though!'

@affectioninacoldclimate - ah but performance parenting always works so much better with an audience!!!

Ah no Everything generalised faffage is more than acceptable at security, especially shoes etc.
This was a whole new level it was a short flight so no one had checked bags in and these rucksacks were huge (no way were they fitting in the overhead too) AND they were supposedly very frequent fliers.

Purse faffers - when I worked in a shop, I gave coins then held the note for the customer to take off me

@OliviaStabler - I always check which number pump I'm on, usually forget by the time I get to the cashier though and have to crane to double check! Sorry.

Can I add café faffers?
The ones who get to the front of the queue but don't know what they want to eat? Cue much umming and ahhing and quibbling over the price.
If you've not decided then don't bloody queue up!

The shop I used to work in removed the void function from the till. So if someone rushed off to get 'one more thing' and were then ages, I couldn't cancel the transaction and let the next person through.
One time a lady decided she needed the loo just as it was time for her to pay. She took ages and I was stood there with all her shopping unable to serve anyone else. She really could have held it for the 30 seconds it would have taken to pay.

Encountered this not long ago in M&S, woman in small queue ahead of me. Another woman brushed past me, carrying a basket to join the original queue place marker, (who I now realised was carrying nothing).

It wasn't particularly busy tbh.And as I left, having paid for my stuff, the pair of them were still faffing around at the checkout they had arrived at, after the place holding...

I have a good (annoying) story about people fucking about at the till. I joined the queue in Marks with my basket of shit. In front of me someone had left bread and milk on the conveyor belt with the divider thing after it, but no person in sight. Waited ages for the two people in front of the bread and milk to put their stuff through the till and pay. Milk and bread person still hadn't turned up. So I put her stuff behind mine and went through and started with the cashier putting it through and bagging my stuff when she finally turned up and asked to go in front of me because her things were before mine in the queue. I had no idea where she had fucked off to for ten minutes but I was already bagging my stuff up halfway through the transaction so I said no. She told me in front of my 5 year old to piss off and asked where my Christmas spirit was!!! I told her she was a cheeky bint and imagine if everybody did what she did, the tills would be chaos. She continued having a go at me and then (which I surprised myself about) I got closer to her and told her she better shut the hell up. She seemed to back down after that. I was raging!!!!!!!

Eurgh YANBU op, people like that are so so annoying. It's not just in shops either, I used to work in a very busy nightclub in London and the number of people who would get to the bar then start trying to find their friends in the crowd and ask them what they wanted to drink, and then ordering something like 20 jaeger bombs and 12 g&ts 4 diet coke and vodkas etc. and then announce they all want to pay separately and half would wander off with their drinks without paying as I had made them all up expecting one person to foot the bill as revenge I would either not give them low calorie tonic or coke they asked for and measure the shots at about 10ml rather than 30.

In H&M last week a lady in front of me holding 1 item .... until she got to the cash desk when she lifted a massive pile of clothes from the top of a display where she had been stashing them. Not really a major problem with that, but then as the cashier is putting everything through she wanders off and then comes back with another couple of things, then wanders off again, comes back with something else, then when the cashier gives her the total she starts asking for certain things to be removed so it comes to below a certain amount. Then wanders off again to get a pair of sandals, but they're more than the amount she asked to be taken off, so it's still too much, but she says "Well I need all of these things, I don't want to take anything else off", like the cashier is just going to say "Oh you need them? Well in that case you may have them for nothing."

I was agog - as were the 8 people behind me in the queue. Then she goes to wander off again, whereapon a massive collective groan/tut/sigh emanates from the queue and the cashier firmly tells her there are people waiting and could she just pay for what has gone through and if she wants anything else she can do it in a separate transaction once she's decided.

At which point she turns round and looks at us and then puts on a fake "Oh my, I didn't realise you were all there" look, even though she'd walked past us all several times on her walkabouts.

I was torn between contempt for her sense of entitlement and admiration for her chutzpah. She knew she was holding us all up, she just didn't give a shit.

The people who only get their purse out when they get to the till are probably doing so because they only have two hands! One is holding the basket and the other a bag.

And those of you who'd say "well why cant they kick the basket along the floor" would probably then be moaning about the unhygienic practices of pushing the basket along the floor.

Anyway, I hate supermarket shopping unless I only need a few things and can whizz through the self-service tills. Otherwise online shopping is fantastic.

@ATurnipOfMyOwn I put in my fair share of time running tills for a fashion retailer and people like your H&M lady are the worst! They really do seem to think they don't have to pay if it comes to too much, or I will wave a wand or something! I'm here to take your money; if you can't pay, you need to decide what to do. We don't typically respond to whining/pleading like that or everyone would try it on.

I especially loathe people who wander off with no explanation mid transaction with no regard for anyone else queuing- I have no idea if they mean to return. They are usually the people who then get annoyed when their transaction has been suspended and they have to requeue behind everyone they inconvenienced. Troubles with cards/cash/forgotten or incorrect items people are usually grateful we've kept their transaction ready to roll via suspend transaction button and queue up again no problem if they're more than a minute/have to go out.

Watching people take down queue jumpers at Xmas is as good as David Attenborough documentaries about animal social group hierarchy! People who interrupt a transaction to try and make me help them when I'm serving and mid conversation are fantastically entitled and rude! It usually happens when there's no queue anyway and there's also usually another sales assistant available and in view. Unless there's imminent emergency, wait your bloody turn!!

The people who only get their purse out when they get to the till are probably doing so because they only have two hands! One is holding the basket and the other a bag. And those of you who'd say "well why cant they kick the basket along the floor" would probably then be moaning about the unhygienic practices of pushing the basket along the floor.

Nope, I promise I wouldn't moan about that. I don't really care if it's someone else picking up bugs, and anyway things are so thoroughly packaged these days that it isn't an issue.

Can I add people who walk right up to the barrier on the tube/train, having been in a queue to reach it, THEN start searching though their bags/pockets for their Oyster card/ticket/wallet - bringing the flow of people through the barrier to a halt? Drives me insane!

I can't stand the people who come up behaving bad you in the queue and cannot wait for you to finish unpacking your shopping onto the belt before they start unloading theirs.

Inevitably they underestimate how much space you need and you end up having to ask them to shove their shopping back. Accompanied by much tutting from them.

I have solved this by passive aggressively unpacking from the front of the trolley so I'm assured of a full trolley length free belt space.

I had a shopper like this in front of me last week it's infuriating.

I just wanted to say though I moved to Tesco bank 3 months ago and they don't let me pay at pump with my current account (this is why I don't pay at pump) this is also infuriating it's wastes my time having to go in and queue because Tesco bank can't get their shit together and allow pay at pump on current accounts.

Chocolate I used to work on checkouts, and at 10pm on a Saturday night we got one of these disappearing customers. One of my colleagues actually put her stuff aside (it was a load of sale clothes, a nightmare to put through) so she was at the back of the queue when she came back. She called me names when she came back. Luckily her English didn't run to anything worse than 'not a very nice person'.

Hated this as a cashier, partly because of the hold up, mostly because of the shitty looks I would get from the rest of the queue. Like I was getting paid enough to get into confrontations with these people! It was bad enough having to enforce the 10 items or fewer policy on the express till.

I can't stand the people who come up behaving bad you in the queue and cannot wait for you to finish unpacking your shopping onto the belt before they start unloading theirs.

Totally agree, so unnecessary and makes me very angry

@NormaSmuff

Given the appallingly selfish behaviour you have not only admitted to indulging in but about which you have told everyone else they are being precious, you'll forgive me if I say that I don't give a good goddamn about you being inconvenienced because smart money says you probably deserve it.

It doesn't feel nice, does it? Being inconvenienced by others?

Remember this feeling the next time you're in the mood to pull it on someone else.

People who go shopping "together" so cannot possibly go to different tills also cause unnecessary issues.

Or just chill about it, not everyone is well organised

If you're disorganised, why should other people suffer, Norma? If I forget something, I either just leave it and get it another time, or pay for what I've got, then go and fetch whatever it is and queue again.

I work in a small shop, so no baskets to be bothered with, but what I really hate is people who say "excuse me!" so I dash off to help them, only to find them standing there saying " ummm, I don't know what I want..." like I do while a queue builds up behind them, yet they expect you to stand there with them in a virtual hand hold while they dither.
Also customers who leave you holding the item like a muppet while they suddenly decide to rearrange the contents of their purse/ handbag.
Any customer who acts surprised when they have to pay.

Years of working in retail have made me a checkout ninja. When I am a customer I have clothes off hangers, tags up the right way for scanning, bags in trolley open, heavy stuff on conveyer belt first to go at bottom of the bags, frozen items grouped together, bag open, purse and store cards at the ready. I move to one side to let the next customer have room while I close bag/ put purse away/ find car keys etc. Whenever a cashier says " ooo you're organised!" I always say " I work in retail" and without fail get the rueful acknowledgement of another foot soldier in the war against twats.

Faithinthesound- do you have a big axe to grind with NormaSnuff or do you treat everyone who disagrees with you with such bile?

"war against twats"
Or, as I like to call them, " the people without whom I'd be unemployed"