To masturbate secretly but married

[happyfanjosephine]

Just that. Happily married. 2 DC. Decent sex life 2-3x per week but still regularly look after myself secretly if I get time in bed alone... is this reasonable? Would DH be upset if he knew. Sometimes he's part of the fantasy sometimes not but have found from a young age it is a good way to relax and go to sleep... I guess in our sex life he 'finishes' more often than I do but I wouldn't attribute that we still have fun and he cares and is loving.... is this normal? Ok?

I guess you're assuming I'm young but I'm intelligent and outgoing but none of my friends and I have ever discussed this. We've discussed literally everything else from birth injuries etc why if it's so normal did I actually think I was pretty unusual. I thought maybe teenagers but not happily married women. It's almost like it's everyone's secret when I read this!

Oh completely normal OP. We have sex 3-4 times a week and we both wank additionally - sometimes privately, often watched by the other person as part of foreplay. I would say I average a couple of wanks a day as it totally relaxes me.

Not a secret for most of us, I don't think.

He saves himself for you? What happens if you don't want it?

Perfectly normal. I don't think you need to tell him, but if it ever came up then you shouldn't keep it a secret either.

Something like, 'I was thinking about you in bed this morning... '.

He probably does do it to. Without trying to overshare too much, I know DP will sometimes do it in the shower before work when I want to sleep in a bit longer but be completely fine to spend time with me in the evenings.

I'm not the sort who ever doesn't want it but when the occasions have come up probably a handful over the yrs up he's fine with it. Disappointed but not horrid or anything.

Absolutely normal.

Totally normal. Only rule we have is that we don't do it when the other is in the house as it makes us feel a bit hurt that the other chose it when they could have invited the other to join in sometimes I know it's just easier to sort yourself out, no reflection on your partner - but as far as I'm aware we both abide by that rule because it becomes 'you weren't there' rather than the less palatable 'I couldn't be arsed with you' even if that is actually the truth

It's almost like it's everyone's secret when I read this!

I think it's because of how some people were brought up. I was brought up in a very religious environment and was led to believe that any actions on sexual thoughts and feelings would lead to hellfire and damnation.
It wasn't until I got with my boyfriend, I started to realise some things were actually normal.

Few more boyfriends, a marriage and two kids later, some of my friends conversations make me look like a prude!

I thought maybe teenagers but not happily married women

I'm a happily married woman in my late twenties. Friends and I discuss this sort of thing all the time.

Completely normal, I just assumed everyone wanked...

Stop hiding this from your husband. That's so silly. Him joining in is a lot of fun!

Normal!

It's your body. No partner really has rights over how you use it!

Normal.

Totally normal as well is fantasises!

I bet he has a quiet tug from time to time too .