Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To find this really creepy

25 replies

user1498221998 · 24/06/2017 18:44

My ex partner and Father of my 4 years old Son has a new girlfriend.
When they first met he was still hurt from the fact I had left him so kept going on and on about how awful I was. He admits this and has apologised. Stating that he was hurt even though it has been 2 years since we split. I knew nothing of her until my ex said in passing he had gone on a few dates with a woman and it was now over but she had a crazy ex who might contact me and could I block him if he did.

I'm really not getting involved with this so I said okay. Her ex did contact me and in the message on facebook he sent me loads of messages my ex's new girlfriend. All of them were complaining about me. How he shouldn't take me to the supermarket every Sunday (I don't drive and live rurally). How he shouldn't have seen me on Mother's Day etc. Complaining that he loved me not her and wouldn't introduce her to me etc. I don't care about that but his girlfriend had screenshot several posts from my Facebook and was clearly spending a lot of time looking at my facebook profile and screenshotting my posts.

I blocked this guy but this has unnerved me. I don't even know her so can't block her and she seems to be very pre occupied with me to an almost obsessive extent.

I would love him to meet someone lovely but I don't think this relationship will last long! I have put my profile on restricted but I still hate the idea of this woman looking at my facebook. I've asked my ex for her name so I can block her but he will not. I think this is unreasonable.

I know she could set up a new facebook anyway but I should be able to use facebook without having his new girlfriend stalking my profile. I also find it bizarre she's trying so hard to stop him seeing my Son and I.

AIBU to ask him for her name so I can block her? I understand anyone can search us on facebook but screenshotting my posts is creepy and unnerving.

AIBU?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 24/06/2017 18:49

You don't need to block her now you have sorted your settings out.

Personally I've never understood why anyone would want their profiles to be set to public or friends of friends.

The rest sounds like a lot of teenage type nonsense from the school of drama llamas.

I wouldn't pay it any more mind now.

user1498221998 · 24/06/2017 18:50

She can still see my profile pics though. I've made it so no one can message me but I shouldn't have to!

OP posts:
FakePlasticTeaLeaves · 24/06/2017 18:51

er, yes that is very creepy, what a weirdo. Make him give you her name - I don't understand why he wouldn't, what is the reason he gives for not telling you?

You can set your Facebook so people you don't know can not see anything apart from one profile picture, I assume that's what you've done now!

WorraLiberty · 24/06/2017 18:51

Hang on though I'm a bit confused.

If he showed you messages from her, why isn't her name on them?

FakePlasticTeaLeaves · 24/06/2017 18:52

She can only see one profile picture, the one you currently have set. If you don't want her to see your face, you need to block her. Or set your profile picture to something that isn't your face.

WorraLiberty · 24/06/2017 18:53

She can still see my profile pics though. I've made it so no one can message me but I shouldn't have to!

She can only see the one you're currently using, if you've tightened your settings up, which to be fair is no different to her (or anyone else) seeing your face in the street.

WRT the messaging, you don't have to accept the message request.

FakePlasticTeaLeaves · 24/06/2017 18:54

and yes Worra, good question on the screen grabs.

FakePlasticTeaLeaves · 24/06/2017 18:55

and yes Worra, good question on the screen grabs

abbsisspartacus · 24/06/2017 18:56

Tell him if she persists you will contact the police and as you don't know her name they will go to him (probably isn't true but sounds plausible) are you sure he isn't stalking your account

ArmedHerring · 24/06/2017 18:57

I was wondering that too Worra.

TippyTinkleTrousers · 24/06/2017 18:58

People are weird.

I mean, I Facebook stalk nose like the rest but taking screen shots?! Why?!

OP as worra said you don't need to worry because you have restricted your profile now.

TippyTinkleTrousers · 24/06/2017 18:59

Not worra sorry it was fakeplastictrees

Namechange2837 · 24/06/2017 18:59

You can still block her - just go on her Facebook and press block?

WorraLiberty · 24/06/2017 19:00

She doesn't know her name Namechange

Although (as said) why her name isn't on the messages the OP was sent, is puzzling.

Namechange2837 · 24/06/2017 19:03

Ohhhh sorry missed that. Huh? Yeah surely if the messages are from her, her name would be there? Can't you just ask ex what her name is considering she's evidently stalking you?

Namechange2837 · 24/06/2017 19:04

Sorry,just seen you already asked him 🙈 (baby brain)!

AlternativeTentacle · 24/06/2017 19:06

So he has screenshotted her moaning about him and his relationship with you? Why would you be in the slightest bit interested?

charliebear78 · 24/06/2017 19:10

If you are that determined to block her-unblock her EX and ask him her name etc(though not sure why her name/profile pic would not be in his messages to you if they were from her?)
Then block em both!

Chloe84 · 24/06/2017 19:11

As pp have said, you can lock down your FB so people can't see your profile pics (except your 'current' profile pic).

user1498221998 · 24/06/2017 19:19

Thanks everyone. The only thing visible is my current profile pic. Hopefully she will get bored now.

OP posts:
PaulDacresFeministConscience · 24/06/2017 19:30

Top tip - change your profile pic to something that isn't you.

I have my FB very tightly locked down. I don't do anything contentious on there, but I'm not 'friends' with work people or colleagues, because I like to keep my personal and professional lives separate. I'm not searchable and even on a 'friends with' basis it's not immediately obvious who I am because my profile picture isn't of me.

TheFatOfTheLand · 24/06/2017 19:32

Why didn't you ask her crazy ex what her name is before you blocked him Confused

Are you sure it's even her crazy ex and not your crazy ex with a fake account? Do you know for a fact this girlfriend even exists?

Blocking her will do fuck all to be honest. I've blocked a nutty woman on FB but she has at least 10 accounts set up (they are dogs, horses, a donkey and a host of other animals!). She's weird as fuck but it's pointless blocking any of the other accounts because she'll just set up another one Smile

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 24/06/2017 19:47

It's not a good introduction to his new partner that's for sure.

Does your ex share custody of your son? If his new relationship has any longevity, the gf may be spending time with your ds in the future. That would only work if you can both be civil.

Some people do get a bit obsessed looking at an ex's FB, probably driven by extreme insecurity. It's odd that she is bitching about you to her ex though. Confused It all sounds very complicated.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 24/06/2017 19:51

Bear in mind also that your ex didn't speak kindly of you when he met his gf. He may have painted you as some sort of lying vindictive person who manipulates him, and she's fallen for all that bullshit.

VeryButchyRestingFace · 24/06/2017 20:16

If you can't see her profile name on the screengrabs, how do you even know she's involved?

He's the one contacting you with the screenshots and your ex has already said this bloke is trouble. Block him. He sounds like a bored, stirring shit.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page