Locked doors

[Bobbins43]

AIBU to either lock my son's bedroom door or mine so he can't get up in the middle of the night and wander in? I've just managed to get him to start sleeping in his own room. He has a SafeSpace in there so he wouldn't be able to harm himself with anything in there

He is 7 and has ASD so the front and back doors and all the big windows are locked so he wouldn't be able to get out of the house.

Is this a terrible idea? I am desperate to get a full night's sleep and I would imagine he could do with some too. But I'm worried he'll get very distressed and I won't hear him. What do you think?

He's very adept at climbing over things or dragging furniture over to help him unlock bolts. He's even climbed out of windows before.

So far, he hasn't wandered downstairs at night; he just wants me. And the front and back doors are locked with a key which I have on a lanyard and keep in my room.

I'm not always awake enough to return him either tbh. I don't know what to do.

Do you reckon he'd be particularly upset if he realised he can't get out? Would he understand if you warned him beforehand?

I don't know if I'm honest. He is very strong minded and tends to kick off quite severely if he doesn't get his own way. Which is probably what will happen, I guess

Have you asked him why he comes to find you? You might then be able to find an alternative.

Maybe a favourite book to read or short recording to watch or listen to such as an audiobook. Alternatively can you set up the rooms in your house so you are not very far away? If you can get him used to his room, maybe you sleep in a camp bed in there until he is more settled and really not waking fully, that might help. Is it that he does not like the dark? Could he have a night light?

If he's going to kick off if he can't get out, you won't sleep anyway.

His language skills aren't really clear enough to be able to tell me why he comes to find me.

He does have a nightlight and sometimes asks me to turn it on but usually doesn't. He has lullabies he listens to before bed.

His room is three steps away from mine. We live in a small mid-terrace house. So I'm never far. I usually lie down with him until he's asleep. Maybe that's the problem?

But he won't go up to bed without me either

Could he have something like a big soft toy that might fool him, you are there, when he is half asleep? That might help if he falls asleep whilst you lie next to him.

Or try to move away. So you have a separate bed, mattress, camp bed, yoga mat to lie on whilst he goes to sleep. This might mean he can learn to drift off to sleep without someone so close.

Take from one who knows. Request an assessment again from a local authority OT with a view to provisions to keep your son safe. The OT will not sanction locks but can work to design a stable type door that is lockable at the bottom but open at the top

Casschops, we have a stable door leading to our kitchen. He just climbs over the bottom bit. But I'll see what I can do re the OT

And the big toy sounds like a good idea too, thank you!

No problem. Hope it helps.

Perhaps an assistance dog? It would be worth looking into. A dog could sleep in his room and give him comfort. I hope you find an answer OP.