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12 replies

Somethingbloodyclever · 24/06/2017 10:57

I'm fed up of negative people, OK everyone likes a good moan but not about everything and not constantly. I have a family member who will find the negative in everything. Aibu to find this draining?
I wish I could avoid family member but I can't, I've tried not engaging in the moaning and family member then just talks at me. At first it was bearable but now family member just sounds so ungrateful, they have started complaining about another family member who bends over backwards to help. No thank you nothing from negative family member. They just don't seem to be able to see what this person does for them. Im finding it very frustrating.

OP posts:

WonderLime · 24/06/2017 11:03

It IS draining. I have a work colleague who is like this- constantly "I don't see why we should have to do X", "I hate that Y does X", etc all day long. She goes quiet when a particular senior member of the team is in the room and then immediately afterwards the stream of complaints and negativity starts again. It's got to the point where I just reply with 'It doesn't bother me' and then nothing else. Eventually she'll shut up.

How close is this family member to you? Do you see them daily? Is there a way to only see them when with other people so you can just change the subject?


Somethingbloodyclever · 24/06/2017 11:10

I see them at least 3 times a week, once a week is with other family so not as bad, but the other times family member is in my house. At my house they seem to think they can complain about others to me, I can't be bothered with it. It got to the point that family member was complaining about a mutual friend and how she parented. Mutual friend parents very similar to me, and I'm sat there going I do that aswell, that's how I raise my dc, yep I agree with mutual friend. But family member seems oblivious to this and carries on so insulting mutual friend and me at the same time.

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Thekissbyklimt13 · 24/06/2017 11:13

I hate this too. My colleague is like this and has a problem for every solution and constantly moans about everyone else to me. It wears me down and we have had 2 staff members leave due to her.


ChildishGambino · 24/06/2017 11:45

Can't stand it! Google 'grey rock' - this is the approach I've taken. Works miracles. They just wander off or moan to someone else.


pipsqueak25 · 24/06/2017 12:12

mil is like this, awful situation all round.


KeepServingTheDrinks · 24/06/2017 12:18

I just did ChildishG. It's also under 'gray rock". Wow!


pipsqueak25 · 24/06/2017 12:40

childishheck i wish i'd known this technique many years ago, thanks for sharing the info, this could help so many people esp. in difficult relationships


ChildishGambino · 24/06/2017 13:09

It's sooooo good. It's worked so well for me. I'm usually the sort to get into long drawn out conversations about controversial subjects and that's exactly what they want. Love it.


ChildishGambino · 24/06/2017 13:10

They really are after a reaction or someone to continue their dialogue at. When they don't get it it's miraculous the change.


redexpat · 24/06/2017 13:18

Ive always wanted to point a wand at them and shout expecto patronum.


MatildaTheCat · 24/06/2017 14:01

Is it my mil? Bloody constant. Last week she was insulting my ds for not earning enough. Today she rang me to inform me, sadly not that the area I'm visiting has a bad weather forecast for next week.

Utterly draining and infuriating. I am currently avoiding. Can't you reduce contact?


Somethingbloodyclever · 24/06/2017 14:41

I've been trying to reduce contact, but family member knows my schedule and there are only so many times I can pretend I have other plans or just close the blinds and pretend I'm not in. We live very close together

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