ARGHHH!!!! To think I shouldn't be allowed out in public

[YesMadamDeputySpeaker]

I have had an extremely stressful day at work and have just got home after picking the DC up from my mum's. After much pestering, I took them to the shop to get a treat (TGIF).

There was a long queue and DC were messing about, fighting and squabbling amongst themselves. My 10 year old DS has just learnt to whistle and he was incessantly doing so whilst we waited - not so much an actual tune but just random noises.

It was grating on every one of my last nerves until I could bear it no more, so turned round and shouted "Will you just stop that bloody whistling now!" Only to find that the whistler in question was not DS, but a sweet little old man (he looked as though he was pushing 80) holding two close-to-overflowing shopping baskets.

I apologised profusely but an hour on and I'm still having a full-body cringe. Everyone in the shop turned to glare at me, and the cashier gave me an incredibly dirty look.

Why do these faux pas seem to happen to me on a daily basis? Particularly at work

A neighbour and I were both at the latter stages of pregnancy & used to jokingly call each other lardarse etc.
Thought I saw her on my way to work one morning and yelled, 'Oy! Fattie! You need to lay off those cakes.'

It wasn't her. My cheeks burn with shame whenever I think of it.

When my dcs were little we used to host Spanish students in the summer. One evening when I had put my dcs to bed and finally sat down to watch tv I heard them (my girls) fighting upstairs. I went out to the hall and shouted up the stairs "for God's sake will you just be quiet and go to sleep" Stunned silence followed and I realised it was actually the two Spanish girls having an animated conversation breakfast was a bit strained the next morning

Sat in the living room with DS and he just started whistling again. I don't have the heart to tell him to stop this time

You are so not alone OP.

This morning I dropped DD off at school, drove to the other side of the village to get petrol and then drove back past the school. Only to see a good friend getting her kids out the car, I'd been cutting it fine timewise, but DD was in on time. So smugly shouted out my window " oi, yer late"

But it wasn't my friend. Just a bemused stranger with a similar car and the same hairstyle. Very embarassed!

I was driving g to work, and could see my DS up ahead walking to the bus stop, so I wound down the window and shouted "make sure you concentrate in chemistry!', only to find that is wasn't my DS at all, but another boy, who would know who I am. Had to email the parents and apologise for harassing their child in the street!

Egg and chit

My sister's husband was away working (on the rigs, so he'd been away for weeks) and was returning on the same day as their eldest's nursery nativity play. He decided not to tell her as a surprise, so arrived as the kids were lining up at the door to go in.

He crept up behind who he thought was his DD, and said (in spooky voice), "Guess who's ho-ooome!"

You can guess the rest - it wasn't DD. He was so mortified he still detests attending school nativities to this day.

Oh I really really can't cope with whistling at all. I would have found that incredibly stressful. I have actually walked out of places where people are whistling so as to avoid exploding. I feel your pain OP!

These are hilarious

Thank you for that, had a good old belly laugh reading that!!

Oh that's funny OP.

A few years ago my sister was moving, she gave me the times etc and said could she have a hand cleaning when moving in. So I popped to the new house and walked in shouting youhoo!
A voice from upstairs asked Who it was to which I replied the rent man.
After a bit of repetition cos they obviously didn't know who it was, it turned out the previous owners hadn't moved out yet!!
Not content with that I then offered to help them which just sounded like you're not moving fast enough!!