Downstairs neighbours have complained about noise AIBU?

[tonightonight]

Background:
I live in a block of three large flats. Upstairs has a balcony, my flat has Juliet balcony under upstairs's balcony. Downstairs has French doors that open onto a small back yard, again directly under my Juliet balcony.
My baby is 6 months old and currently teething so is a bit more grumpy than normal. He's usually very well behaved and DH and I are very conscious to ensure he isn't disturbing everyone too much. When I first found out I was pregnant I put a note in each neighbours letter box letting them know that I was expecting and once baby was here, if they had any problems to please come and speak to us.

So, this week, as we all know, has been ridiculously hot. DS has been in just his nappy or nappy and a vest to keep him cool. I've had a couple windows open in his room and our room during the day and the Juliet doors open in the living room. I've also got my nursing chair by the Juliet. So when I'm feeding DS I read to him (currently Harry Potter... more for me than him lol). I speak softly when I read because he's obviously feeding and biting when startled.
Downstairs had a couple guests over and we're sitting in their yard which is under my Juliet talking and drinking. I was sat in my chair reading aloud. I then had the wife say in a loud voice "oh is she still not done reading that shit to her baby?!" They then entered into a loud conversation about how inconsiderate I've been by having my doors open as they can hear everything and it's not fair.
Once DH was home I went down to speak to them and they told me I was selfish and entitled. I asked how as I was sitting in my own house reading to my son? I wasn't in a public space or anything and it was too hot to not have the doors open!
I mean, he's a baby so he does cry but I always shut the doors when that happens anyways.
I can hear upstairs's TV when all our doors are open but that's flat life isn't it?!
AIBU?

If you value quiet and not being disturbed above all else (which is perfectly valid) then you shouldn't live in a flat.

It's not possible to go about a normal day and not be overheard in our flats. They're like ovens in the summer and there's no way anyone can be expected to keep windows and doors closed.

Some people are overly hostile about babies and think it's an imposition on them that they are even aware of their existance. We were all babies once, so have had our go at disturbing the neighbours.

danTDM, it is not even remotely unreasonable to read to someone at a normal speaking voice in the middle of the day. OP's neighbours are free to take it up with the council's noise enforcement team if they think otherwise - they'll get laughed out of the room

Such is flat dwelling. I wish my neighbours below me were reading HP out loud rather than playing shite boom boom music!

@danTDM you goady so and so - what would you have her do then? Pray tell.

Fortunately we're in the process of buying a house which is near a school so I'll not have to deal with them much longer 🤞

Oh and I'm moving on to Roald Dahl next.

@danTDM I've asked how it is UR and you still haven't given me an answer. You've just said that I am. That doesn't help.

If i heard you reading Harry Potter in geordie accent i would probably settle in under your window with a G&T for a lovely listen.

Me too! What miserable people.

Haha shall I do a public reading for you lot?

I would love to hear my neighbours reading aloud to their children. It's a wonderful thing to do for your children, it makes such a huge difference to their lives, in terms of literacy, security, all sorts. It's a really amazing thing to do.

So nope, you were not being unreasonable, you were being a lovely, caring, brilliant mum and I wish I lived nearer to you.

Someone buy Dan some decent ear plugs.

Babies are not hellishly noisy except for a few times a day. With windows open there is obviously more noise transfer, just say do you hear it with the doors shut - then if answer no then it is more than reasonable and just tough when living in close quarters and windows wanted open. Some people just are not suited to communal living and are not tolerant of lifestyles of others in anyway.

As to complaining - maybe passive aggressive moaning is more accurate.

They sound like rude arseholes and possibly even some of those extreme childfree horrors. I'm sorry you have to live next to them.

I would invite them to contemplate the possibility that you, a parent who is well used to a baby screaming, might decide that you will not bother comforting the baby to silence with Harry Potter the next time they have guests, and they can see how they like that.

@OnTheRise thank you.
I'm a big reader and my Mam puts it down to me being read aloud to from a very young age. Apparently it helps children have positive associations with literacy

Have this on loop...they will be begging for you to read again

^ Or possibly just throw the windows open one evening and loudly discuss with DH the idea that might happen if you get any more shit.

thank you.
I'm a big reader and my Mam puts it down to me being read aloud to from a very young age. Apparently it helps children have positive associations with literacy

You're very welcome!

Reading aloud to your children is difficult: it's hard work to do it nicely, and it's time-consuming. Not everyone can manage it, so you're doing very well. And if you can manage it the rewards are huge: not only improved literacy and a better relationship with books, which echoes down through your children's school years and makes school work easier for them; but also it makes them feel more loved and secure, and more part of the family, and it improves your relationship with you too.

I can't be sure, but I remember reading something about how being read to improved the speed with which children in hospital got better, too. It's a really lovely thing to do if you can manage it. You're good.

I think it's fair to make reasonable adjustments to not disturb neighbours. So in our flats most people take shoes off as they know the noise carries down. I wouldn't Hoover or do loud jobs early or late.

It's been horribly hot in London, and it is not reasonable to expect my neighbours to keep windows and doors shut, hence I am now acquainted with the ins and outs of my neighbour's business dealings as he's been working from home and making calls all day. I haven't thought to be annoyed with him - he's just talking at a normal phone volume, much louder than OP probably.

I could complain about it, and every time they have a party, and they could complain about hearing a baby cry sometimes, but it's much nicer to just be sensible people about it all.

YWBU to apologise in advance for any noise your baby might make

YANBU to read to your baby by an open window

I'd hate to live above somewhere where the neighbours patio was right below my window and I could clearly hear their socialising as if it were my own house, but I also wouldn't be keen on having to listen someone reading harry potter to their dc. As everyone has said its just the pitfalls of flat life.
Glad your moving to a house. I hope it has adequate parking .

@deffoncforthis or the idea of having

@deffoncforthis sorry I started to respond and got distracted then added the picture lol

Ooh I bet baby would love The Twits! With voices.

I'm assuming your neighbours and Dan would hate being on the bus with me when I sing to the toddler!

Do you think they would rather a "Harry Potter the stage show" instead? Complete with costumes using the balcony as a stage?

Hearing language is very beneficial even in the womb. They've done studies on women cut off from a community where they can speak their mother tongue during pregnancy, and it has a detrimental effect on babies. They suggested reading for aloud to compensate.

@GlitterRollerSkate I would LOVE that!! Where's my wand?

I honestly don't care who I play as long as I can be in that show!

Hahaha i would go full on Harry Potter on them. Perhaps you could cast a spell on them everytime they dare to set foot outside of Hogwarts Know of any "don't be a dick of a neighbour" spells?