To feel fat after being asked this?

[snoopypoodle]

Pregnant with DC 2, first pregnancy no bump until about 16/17weeks and now I'm 17weeks and bump is quite obvious if I don't wear anything too baggy.

Went into a shop I frequent every week today and lady I usually chat with said "oh gosh you're really showing now aren't you?" I said "yes is suppose so it's 17weeks now" and she said "oh is that all" and "are you sure it's just 1?" . I stayed polite and made small talk paid and left but it's made me feel really down.

I don't know if it's due to hormones too but I just feel fat and frumpy whereas up until today I thought I was doing and looking ok for 4months along. Granted this time around the bump is considerably bigger than it was when I was pregnant with DC1 but I really hoped it wasn't as big as she made out.

AIBU to feel so crap and fat and to be craving pizza all at the same time?

I was told by different people that I was "enormous" and "tiny", on the same day.

Same here. And frankly with bloating and whatever else thrown in it's a minefield.

I don't understand why people get offended by comments like this. It's been common practice since the dawn of time that women say these things to each other.

No ones an expert in average baby bump sizes from just using your eyes to assess. My bump was big but mostly water as baby was small and I wasn't big. Your pregnant

I've actually had to train myself to never comment on bumps since I joined Mumsnet.

Because I'm old enough to remember when nobody appeared to mind, I have to remind myself that it no longer seems the case today.

Infact thinking back, it was considered pretty rude not to comment on a pregnant woman's bump, when you knew the person well enough to talk too.

Well actually not really rude but definitely strange.

Be proud of your big bump, at least you know baby is healthy and growing, I have a friend who hardly shows at all with any of her pregnancies and all her babies have been tiny and have had complications resaulting in long hospital stays. Your not fat, you just have a healthy pregnancy bump.

There's a massive difference between being pregnant and being fat.
She was talking about the size of your bump, not your arse

^ this this this. Be proud of your bump, you a growing another human being in there!!!

Your size will change depending on the baby's position as well as his/her size. I have seen some women who hardly show at all and others who are enormous, yet their babies weighed pretty much the same at birth.

Commenting on someone's size is just rude though, unless it is the doctor discussing how things are progressing.

I went to full term with twins and had toxemia (which made me put on 20 lbs in about two weeks). Someone helpfully told me that I looked like the Michelin man. Quite what they hoped to achieve with that comment is beyond me. It's not like I wouldn't notice.

I agree - it's annoying and rude but you have to do your best to view it as people just being interested - I am often desperate to speak to pregnant acquaintances about their pregnancy as it's all so exciting but I tend to be wary after reading these threads.

If it's any consolation when in late pregnancy with DC2 my own DM said - ' I know you have a few weeks left darling but I dont think you can actually get any bigger can you ?' Thanks Mum - I wasn't even that huge I dont think just bigger than first time !

Enjoy your pregnancy

Looking further along is not really the same as looking fat at all though

I think i read somewhere that weakened stomach muscles can cause bumps to be bigger because they arent as tight and keeping everything held in as much. (like those compression garments) It is also affected by the amount of amniotic fluid you have, and of course size of baby.

Try not to let if get to you OP, it is bloody annoying I know, but as others have said it's the bump people are talking about not your overall size (and actually the smaller/slimmer you are the more prominent and comment -attracting the bump tends to be IME). Still, I do think bump comments can be rather rude depending on circs.

I'Ve had to develop a very thick skin in order to be able to leave the house to take the kids to school etc. My bump has looked massive for ages (35 weeks now) and people think I've been due any day for a while. The worst I think has been complete strangers just going 'woah' as I've walked past. Rude. Also can't stand 'ready to pop' references. Feel like saying 'I'm not going to pop actually, I'm going to have my belly sliced open and the baby taken out if you must know'.

I've realised that people genuinely forget just how big bumps are. I think it may have something to do with the tidy bumps we see on TV.

My four months was the same as DSis full term! everyone carries differently.

And also - I think people make these kind of comments to have something to say.

When you're fat like me and 17 weeks pregnant with baby number 2 like me people don't know you're pregnant.
So she was in fact saying "nice pregnancy bump!" Not saying you're fat.
Congratulations

I think it was a bit rude of her. In this day and age most people have had scans by 12 weeks and know if there are carrying twins or not.

You are pregnant not fat, you should be proud of your bump. People say are you sure it's only 1 without thinking, I wasn't huge with any of mine despite them being on the big side,DD looked enormous with her last, but he was 9 1/2lbs and a lot smaller with her 10lb second. It comes down to how the baby is lying and how much fluid you have.

People will always, always, make inane comments about anything at all.

The weather, for example.

Your pregnancy is no different. They are just saying something to SAY SOMETHING, anything at all, just to act polite and as if they care and to pass the time. I don't know if you are British but it's a very British thing.

You don't look fat, or big, or anything other than pregnant, which you are and should be pleased with.

It's just your hormones making you feel vulnerable and fat, I promise you look wonderful. It's an amazing thing to be carrying a baby and we don't realise it until afterwards.

Enjoy your pregnancy and don't give it another thought.

When I was pregnant with DC1 most people commented on the size of my bump from about 20 weeks onwards. It was quite big, I looked full term at 28 weeks. I had people saying "any day now, then?" or "how many have you got in there?" all the time. I didn't mind the comments or questions at all; it never occurred to me that others might find them upsetting or offensive. I was just full of the joys of being an expectant mum.

I also didn't mind when people asked me how many months pregnant I was several weeks after DC was born! I did feel mortified for the other person though, as they were so embarrassed when I said I had already had the baby!

Each person is different and "bumps" will vary in size and shape for every woman and change depending on baby's position.
People sometimes feel they have to make a comment so not to appear offish and it doesn't always come out right.
If you are eating healthily then it will all be baby and bump anyway so nothing you can do about it. If you are having a few treats, enjoy them. You will end up having to share them will a little person soon enough 😀
I ended up eating scones at about 10 each morning as it settled nausea. Didn't do me or baby any harm. ( Can't say the same for the biscuits and cakes🍩 I ate after the baby arrived though 😀).

Enjoy your pregnancy.