To ask DH to change the way he talks to people?

[BlackAppleCore]

DH is very, very sociable and will attempt conversation with anyone he meets. It's not always welcome to be honest, some people (like me) just like to be left alone but DH will attempt conversation with them anyway.

Anyway I'm becoming increasingly frustrated at the way he talks to people. He doesn't let them finish their sentences before butting in with another question. It's infuriating! Example yesterday:

DH - "Hello mate, that's quite the rent you have there!"
Random man - "hi! Yes it is, I got it from ... "
DH - is this your first time here or you been before?"
Man - "no been a couple of times in the past actually, this year we're ... "
DH - "wherevyou from?? Can't work out your accent!"
Man - "originally oxford but I now live in ... "
DH - "Oxford? So you've not come far then!"
Man - " actually yes, I was just about to say I now live in China"

Anyway similar conversations all day yesterday, I find it so embarrassing and frustrating. WIBU to bring it up with him?

My BF butts into the middle of anything with 'oh I've got to tell you this quickly whilst it's in my head' yep, fuck whatever I'm on about for a bit eh...

Gah pressed too soon.

.. but in your DHs case it's over enthusiasm rather than intentional 'me ness'

That would annoy me.

Tell him he has two ears but, only one mouth for a reason

"My MIL will try to finish your answer for you and will try to mimic the words you are saying towards the end of your sentence"

I know two people that do that, it drives me bonkers, especially as one tends to do it in a "stealing the reaction to the punchline to a joke" kind of way. Telling someone a funny thing that happened? Oh, apparently now we're both telling the story simultaneously....

Both my mother and my sister do this and I'm afraid over the years, I have resorted to monosyllablic answers. Which isn't very adult, but if I actually want to finish a sentence I have to raise my voice and talk over them. It makes every conversation feel like an argument. It's a very tiring way to communicate.

I have seen people signalling to partners or friends to rescue them, when caught in conversation, so I do think it damages their social relationships more generally too.

What's sad in a way is that when the two of them talk to each other (mother and sister) and there's a constant stream of: 'you never let me finish a sentence' 'no, you never let me finish'. So they obviously don't like it when someone does it to them, but they don't seem to be able to link that to how they treat other people.

I find this really funny! He sounds like he's lovely if not slightly over-enthusiastic.

Try not to turn it into a big deal, just suggest he waits to let people finish speaking before asking the next question - in a light hearted way. He probably doesn't even realise he's doing it, and there's probably things you do that wind him up too don't forget!

Anyway, sorry, to answer your question.

YANBU to ask him to point out he's doing it. However he may not change. My mother doesn't see it as a problem and says 'oh, I'm just taking an interest' and carries on, my sister says 'oh sorry' and does it again, the next sentence.

I think they trouble is, they find the behaviour rewarding, and so have no incentive to change.

It's very selfish behaviour. He's obviously not actually interested in the person talking or their views/opinions so he's not genuinely "social", he just loves the sound of his own voice and is using others as a reflective sound board so he can keep talking.

It's also incredibly DULL to be on the receiving end of such tosspot egocentric behaviour. You KNOW they're not actively listening to you, just thinking about their next story/tale/joke and can't wait as they are SO important (in their heads).

I avoid the person in my group who does this as much as possible. Let your DH know that it's not actually friendly or sociable to do this - it's boring and rude.

Oh God I do this a bit

Me: you doing anything nice at the weekend?

Mate: yeah - going away, got a new campervan and taking it to....

Me: ohh lovely - what sort is it?

Mate: VW transporter, it sleeps 4 so ...

Me: oh very posh!

I had no idea i did it until my DP lost his rag and shouted at me that i never let him talk or listen to him. I went to work and told a friend why i was upset and he agreed that i do it 'quite a lot'

I really try not to do now but sometimes dont realise ive done it.

Im quite an introvert, so i think i get a bit overexcited when i feel like someone actually wants to talk to me

Maybe he doesn't know he's doing it? Could you record him so he can hear how he is?

I agree (as usual ) with Navy. Conversation moves and evolves from us sharing our own similar experiences - if it's something important to us, it can often 'burst out' before it's meant to almost.
It's about zipping your gob and at least waiting for a pause in conversation.
My memory wanders, if a conversation jogs something relevant I want to add, I hold my thumb to remind me

DD-6 has started doing the nodding frantically waiting for you to finish talking so she can speak her far more important bit. I finish talking, then before she gets a chance. - I ask her what I've been saying to check she's listened. Conversation skills are so important.

I saw an ASD questionnaire where 'do you let people finish what they're saying?' or 'do you finish people's sentences for them?' were both questions. Presumably 'no' points towards a more ASD-inclined person.

I have a friend who does this who is definitely on the spectrum.

My MIL does something like this. When FIL was still alive, she often spoke over him.

If he was talking to me when she did it, I kept eye contact with FIL to show I was still listening to him, and when he finished, I would reply to him, then turn to MIL and say "Sorry, what was that you were saying?"

My DH sometimes does it too, and I've told him it's rude. He also often thinks he knows what I'm going to say and tries to finish my sentence. I just stop talking for a few pointed seconds, then say, "NO! I was going to say xxx".

OP, you definitely need to tell DH what he's doing and how rude it is.

My DH used to do this ..... made me cringe too. One day he kept cutting some poor bloke off mid-sentence and I just snapped at him something like "for gods sake shut up and let the man answer you. Stop being so flaming rude ...!!!" He just looked at me quite shocked: don't think he even realised he did it. Stopped him though, so maybe you need to do the same OP.

Wondering if OP has had a word with her DH and what his reaction was. Hope it went ok and he realises what he's doing!