To think that DS can travel from Essex-London 3 days a week for college?

[GeorgeandMaisie]

Hiya,

DS is 18 and 99.9% sure he has failed his AS-Levels again. He failed them last year and retook the year. He's very academic (good GCSEs) but was lazy over these last 2 years. He matured massively around February but it was a bit too late then!!

He wants to do an access course and most don't accept you from 19+, he has phoned 4 colleges in the Essex area and they all said no. He emailed one in London just out of pot luck really and they said they would accept him and he has the interview/assessment booked. He'd need to get a bus to the station and then trains.

It's 3 days a week. He wants to take a year out and start it next year when it's just a 15 min drive away. He has a part time job and is starting volunteering in 3 weeks time (which is 1 shift a week).

AIBU to think he should take that place in a heartbeat and be grateful that isn't another year gone!? Or is he BU to think waiting a whole year is better??

It's entirely doable. It's only 3 days a week, and it really isn't that bad a commute.

In college, it's very often the students who live very far away from the college who drop out halfway through. Not all of them do obviously, but it happens a lot

No sorry OP I realise you said he is academic, but sometimes it's not about being bright, but the learning environment etc. I was always top of the class until teen years, when I became defiant and lazy. I'd do things like either amazing coursework and 'forget' to go to the exam. Or ace the exam but would insist to my mum I didn't 'need' to do the coursework. I got into my very well respected college on my portfolio, and dropped out after about 2 months. Went to work and have done further study on evenings and weekends on various subjects in the years since. This has suited me and I've always done well outside the pressures of time-specific study. I love learning, and pick things up quickly, but can't seem to stomach a classroom environment day in day out. Is there any possibility for him to do the course via Open University? He could then work and study and perhaps it will be more successful if he has a bit of variation. The commute itself is not bad at all, but as he's already failed twice, I don't know that trying again but adding to the pressure with a journey is necessarily going to be helpful.

So in a year's time he can go to a closer college?

If he HAS to go to uni to do the job he wants, then he needs to make that happen himself. The choice is his, no? Your choice is around what funding/support you offer his adult education, so you could offer more support

But ultimately, if he wants to defer for a year, as long as he was paying his way not expecting you to fund his choices, then I'd let him do what he thinks. He's an adult, it's his future and career and whilst you can offer opinion and advice, there's not much point forcing him to

I am surprised however that he's willing to lose yet another year of his chosen career/uni ambitions because at some point he was keen enough to email the London college, and presumably bothered enough about failing again, that he made steps to sort it. His newfound motivation hasn't lasted long, which doesn't really bode well...