I had an argue with DH yesterday. I came home from work at 7, went upstairs to the bedroom to change my clothes and he was lying on the bed, my 4 year old was also around. I took my tshirt off and wore another one and he started a fight over this because he thought i was changing so close to the window. I asked what he is talking about, he was quite cross and he started to talk to me like I was a child he has to discipline. my son became quite upset with his tone, he sensed DH was telling me off and tried to protect me. This made us stop arguing and we tried to convince him we were joking, but I felt terrible about it.
I was still so angry at my DH today because of this and we are not on good terms since yesterday, but now we had something else to argue on top of this. One of my friends invited us to barbecue at their house this saturday. they also have same age kids and that will be a kind of play date for the kids as well. I texted my DH in the morning and there was no reply. we didn't have any other plans, and I really want to be with friends after this exhausting week, so I said to my friend that I'd love to come, and i said I didn't check with my DH if he has any other plans though.
when i came home from work today, we sat for dinner and he said he doesn't want to go. he asked me to find an excuse and not go. i said i actually wanted to go, and he can make some other plans if he wishes, that wouldn't be a problem for my friends. is there anything strange with this suggestion? he said then i can go but can't take my son with me, he wants to spend this saturday all day with his son.
this made me really angry because that is the same thing saying you cannot go and it is intentional. i left the table in anger and he followed, we had another round of fight. i don't really needed permission, i made a plan and asking if he'd like to join. we cannot spend every weekend only three of us, can we? I never ask him to change his plans if he makes any. he goes out at nights when he needs a break. he goes on holiday with his friends if he wishes to, i never interfere. and he used to not interfere until now, i can't understand what happened. he sees all this thing as i dont recognise his authority i guess. but the thing is we don't really need someone to be the authority! he can't tell me what to do or where to go or where to not go, he can only share his opinion and if he was nice enough i would have agreed what he wanted. i hate that we argued when the kid is around and he put me in this weird position that i feel like a maid. We are in a different country far from our families, we both work hard to make a living and both tired, but i am really exhausted coming home everyday after 1,5 hours commuting, and then cooking and cleaning and everything else while he's only resting after the long day. i don't really deserve to be treated like this, like a junior, not an equal. please comment, aibu?